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October 17, 2018
lil xan - i hope they die before i get old (i'm so happy i've never heard of any of these idiots before tonight)
Xanny, Make It Go Away: How Benzos Infiltrated Music
The anti-anxiety prescription drug hopped over the Atlantic to impact DJs, producers and fans alike.
From teen dealers selling counterfeit Xanax bars on social media to addicted college kids using benzos to help with panic attacks or comedowns, I am investigating the rise of British counterfeit Xanax use.
About five years ago, London-based DJ Oneman kept running into the same problem. After he first took Xanax,
“I found myself asking everyone where I could get it in London – it was a nightmare to get a hold of in this country back then”, he says now, over the phone. “Eventually I found someone, and I kept going back. I was taking probably two bars a day at this point” – one “bar” being one 2mg tablet – “one in the afternoon and one at night. I began to live at night; I didn't want it to be daylight ever, because then people couldn't bother me and I could get on with just taking drugs and DJing in my room”.
He then lived with a Xanax addiction that lasted four years and culminated in a stint at rehab last year. Recently, he shared his experiences with the prescription drug in now-deleted tweets.
In the wake of rapper Lil Peep’s death from an accidental Xanax and fentanyl overdose and rapper Lil Xan quitting the pills he's named after, Oneman hopes to inspire a conversation about the drug’s negative impact. As well as speaking to him, I’ve talked with a younger generation of teenage British musicians who stand at the intersection of the drug’s use, its relationship to a certain kind of rap and its aesthetic popularity online. And those conversations have made it clear that this is a pertinent, necessary discussion to be having across the UK.
To be clear, Xanax – the trade name of anti-anxiety medication Alprazolam – can be taken moderately by prescription. Although Oneman doesn’t doubt that some people take it above-board, this wasn’t the case for him.
“I've never suffered from anxiety or social anxiety,” he tells me. “I wasn't the kind of person who needed to be taking this drug, but it felt good. It was warm and it was fuzzy and I really liked it – I can’t really explain it other than it became addictive instantly. I think one of the reasons I took it was because a lot of the juke music and Chicago rap at the time referenced Xanax a lot – Lil Durk, Chief Keef, Rashad. I didn't have a reason to take it apart from the music I was listening to; I wanted to know what it was about, and I think it's the same for a lot of people.”
He sets out a complicated premise. Anyone whose worried parents have scanned a headline about recent tragic deaths at festivals will know about the links made in people’s heads between music and drugs. We’ve even asked scientists and researchers why some genres of music seem to pair closely with pingers, MDMA or weed. Oneman mentions rap, which has long inspired sensationalist fears about the places where partying, drug dealing, blackness and criminality seem to collide. From the days of Tipper Gore’s fears about weed in lyrics to ‘Soundcloud rap’ and Future's molly and Percocet bars today, drugs have (as they did in rock, and before that, the blues) walked hand-in-hand with the genre’s public image.
Speaking to Billboard magazine last year, Vic Mensa ruminated on how that trend has most recently manifested in a link between prescription drugs and hip-hop. “At this point in time, I feel that the relationship of hip-hop and mental health and mental illness has become just blatantly obvious from a depressed, self-medicating standpoint but also strangely glorified in that these artists are taking Xanax pills on Instagram. Like, in photographs. And have created their entire wave around prescription drugs. Not only is it a piece of the music, it’s the backbone, it’s the driving force behind the image and the music.”
And so ‘Xanax rap’ has turned into a sub-genre of its own, with an accompanying aesthetic that’s found a lyrical home in the UK among collectives such as 616/ DVL GNG, Reservoir and 237. As 22-year-old Sha Rez, a member of both Reservoir and 237, puts it: “If I'm going to the studio it’s not necessarily there, but if you're going to a show or something, more time there will be a guy with some Xans on him. For some people it's recreational, but then for others it’s not. They use it as an escape or to deal with their issues.” Does he think there is an aesthetic element to it? “I've seen people take it on the daily in a way that’s obviously not good for them; there are people popping them on their Insta stories and shit like that. The way they pop them is like, 'I'm popping Xannys, it's cool,' but we all know if you're popping them every day it's not really just for fun, is it?”
Kish, 21, another member of the Reservoir and 237 collectives agrees. “I think it's naturally an aesthetic thing on some level because of how it's become popular: through music. But because it's a drug it literally has effects on people. While it is an aesthetic choice, at the same time once people know how the drug affects them and what it does for them, it becomes more of a personal relationship. I don't think anyone can dictate whether it's aesthetic once a person is into it, but I do think the aesthetics play a large part in how it's being taken.”
Last month, The Guardian revealed that the UK now accounts for 22 percent of all global Xanax sales on the dark web, prompting warnings from doctors, youth workers and MPs. Like booze, Xanax is a central nervous system depressant. There’s been enough recently written about its effects, but the main thing to consider now is how we’ve seen a huge uptick in off-brand versions – some sold for about £1 to £2 per bar – marketed online.
This raises two other main areas of concern. One is that counterfeit pills, which can contain higher doses of alprazolam or other unknown chemicals such as the often-deadly fentanyl, saturate the market. The other arises from mixing the drug with other drugs and alcohol, behaviour that often leads to dangerous blackouts that can result in complete memory loss and last for days at a time. Sha Rez tells me he’s stopped taking the drug because of similar experiences, and Oneman recounts how, while drinking and popping pills one night, he woke up the next day to find out that he'd taken nine more pills with no memory of having done so. The danger in these blackouts is not only potentially hurting yourself or doing stupid shit and not being able to remember it, but in that people forget what they’ve just done and double-dose more pills without often realising – behaviour that can often be lethal.
For Oneman, the syrupy, slowed-down feeling of the drug translated into an increased fluidity in his DJing. “It kept me isolated in my studio and I just kept practicing. I started using Serato and opened my mind up to new ways of mixing – I was going everywhere with music, and the Xanax gave me so much confidence to do that shit. Especially when it's mixed with alcohol, you're just fearless”. If it sounds like he is championing the drug's effect on his music, it is important to note the distinction between what we want from our artists as people and as musicians: the drugs are always accepted as long as the music keeps coming. Does he think substance abuse is acceptable within the music industry? “Yeah definitely. I can't think of another job where drinking and taking drugs is totally acceptable whilst you're literally at work.”
The music industry has come under criticism in recent years for failing to look after the mental health of the artists who make up its backbone – with the pressures of gruelling tour schedules, social media commitments and back-to-back releases resulting in high levels of substance abuse that are then taken as a given. In that environment, the type of drug may vary but its root causes haven’t seemed to change for decades. Professor Malcolm Lader, Emeritus Professor of Clinical Psychopharmacology at King’s College London, is clear about the drug’s dangers: “although you can use it in an intermittent way, there is a risk that you will become a regular user because it is a drug of dependency as well as abuse. Some people can just take it or leave it, in the sense that they can take it occasionally. Others fairly rapidly become dependent on it and get nasty withdrawal symptoms if they try stopping – particularly if they stop abruptly.”
“If you use regularly on a high dose,” Lader continues, “you will become confused, forgetful, you'll have another set of symptoms due to the toxicity and poisonous effect of the accumulation of the Xanax, and this is quite a marked effect, Xanax is particularly likely to cause this type of problem.”
So what next? How can we best confront this latent crisis without resorting to hysteria? Lader believes that education – both official and unofficial – is the most important thing. Principally, warning people about the dangers of counterfeit bars and of legitimate ones taken in excess. “There's a belief that these drugs can have an effect on you, but not a dangerous effect. People should know that there is a risk if they take them. I think that one of the safest things would be that – you can't ban it, because it isn't actually illegal. An awful lot of word goes around on social media about the pluses and minuses of these medications, and hopefully it will gradually get to be known that it is dangerous – there are no free lunches in the world, so to speak.”
October 16, 2018
Top Fifty David Allan Coe Songs - Playlist by Tyler Mahan Coe (Cocaine & Rhinestones Podcast)
The 50 Best Songs by David Allan Coe
I have no delusions that this post will create such waves as my post on what happened to the David Allan Coe band.
However, this blog was not initiated as a theater of war. Baby Black Widows is to be a compendium of things I consider important in life. I felt it would be naive of myself to expect to be able to have such a public outlet without first discussing the situation with my father. I'm hoping that this post can serve as a segue toward this site's intended purpose, as well as clarify some things about my feelings toward my father.
On the 8th, I expressed my dismay at so many DAC shows having been derailed by his complaining at not having received the recognition he felt he deserved. Let me be clear, he DOES deserve that recognition. David Allan Coe has done some amazing things in his career.
Earlier in the year, in response to all those superficial "Best David Allan Coe Songs" lists made by the kind of people who listen to Greatest Hits albums, I posted a list on Facebook of my Top Fifty DAC Songs. I'm going to post that again here, using the extra space to offer added commentary.
First though, some unsolicited advice for any who hope to pursue a career in music:
Do it because you have to do it or you will go crazy. Do not concern yourself with criticism or acclaim. You will receive both if you are creating anything worthwhile. Concern yourself with being worthwhile. Be worthy.
[I originally made a YouTube playlist for this post but the songs keep being removed due to copyrights stuff. Now they're linked to the albums on Amazon. Get these songs in your life. You'll thank me. Even though they are technically bootlegs, the Bear Family compilation records are the absolute best CD reproductions for fans: liner notes, song lyrics, bonus tracks, etc.]
Top Fifty David Allan Coe Songs
These are my 50 favorite songs by my father. In other words, this is a personal list. I'm not trying to objectively qualify these songs or anything so foolish as that. These are the songs that I would be most likely to sit around and listen to in my room alone:
50. "Actions Speak Louder Than Words" - I guess this was his advice for me and I guess I took it. I've never been one for much sitting around thinking or talking when I could be doing.
49. "A Country Boy (Who Rolled the Rock Away)" - Nobody sings about Hank better than DAC sings about Hank.
48. "Looking in the Mirror" - The first of several "cheating" songs on this list. You'll hear DAC go on and on about how he's the greatest writer of drinking songs in the world. Whether or not that's true, I find myself more impressed with his commentary on relationships. Whether narrating from the outside or singing from the perspective of cheater, cheated, man or woman, he pulls the reality of those situations right into focus.
47. "Rose Knows" - See? Another relationship gone wrong song. This one is interesting because it sets up another common lyrical theme, which is that of the person who has committed a wrongful act, knows it was wrong, may or may not be remorseful, knows they will be caught but does not take action to alter their course.
46. "A Sense of Humor" - Dad used to beat A LOT of asses... He tells a story about beating up a karate instructor, who then sued my father because "nobody wants to learn karate from a guy who got beat up by a hillbilly," which, in the story, prompted my father to beat him up again in the courtroom. Doubt that's true. Good story, though.
45. "Living on the Run" - The sound of the slide guitar in this is crazy. I sometimes find myself daydreaming about different cool production tricks to try when recording music. This song gave me the idea of doubling a slide guitar part with a kazoo. Still haven't tried that one...
44. "O Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie/Motherless Child" - This is so pure, which is particular because the production of these King Records sessions is not my favorite.
43. "River" - If you're already familiar with this song and want to gain a new appreciation for it, watch Heartworn Highways, where my father goes to perform for the inmates at Tennessee State Prison. Singing a song about being in prison to men in prison put a fire into that performance.
42. "Free Born Ramblin' Man" - My father was almost a hippie. If he'd liked psychotropic drugs, it would have been a sure thing.
41. "Yesterday's Wine" - Stellar harmonies...
40. "So Tired of Honkytonk Angels & Wine" - This is particularly great because he wrote it at the beginning of his career and it's such a world-weary sentiment. Guess he didn't have much of a childhood...
39. "Tanya Montana" - Tanya's song got a better melody/steel part than mine. I'll never forgive her. Trivia: this is the only song for which my father ever made an official music video.
38. "A Satisfied Mind" - I'm pretty sure I like this recording of this song better than any other one. Actually, I could say the same thing of almost the entire Texas Moon album.
37. "Wild Irish Rose" - There are a lot of stories about Pop Coe getting drunk and beating his wives and children, so this song is probably true. It's not pleasant but it happens. You can get down about it or sing about it.
36. "Cold Turkey" - I realize this song could sound goofy to some but it is FUNK AS HELL. "OOH baby" Imagine Clarence Carter doing this song.
35. "Love Is a Never Ending War" - This is one of the first songs that was really interesting to me as a child. I have a distinct memory of watching the band run through this song over and over in soundcheck one day until the keyboard player figured out the part he should play after the first line in the chorus. I think the first time it happens in the album version is around the 2:15 point. 4 year-old me thought that part was awesome.
34. "Ride 'Em Cowboy" - An absolute pleasure to perform live. The imagery of the lyrics is so vivid. This really tells a story and makes something that's actually pretty stupid (rodeos) seem heroic and tragic.
33. "Lovin' You Comes So Natural" - Smooth hi-hat work. Very cool rhythm.
32. "What Can I Do" - It's all about that "could it be you?" stop.
31. "Southern Star" - How this wasn't a number one single I will never understand. Epitome of the era.
30. "Whiskey and Women" - The music sounds tough and swaggering, which makes it all the more effective when you realize the lyrics are about a guy who is suffering a pretty serious bout of anguish at the hands of a failed relationship.
29. "Revenge" - This is a very detailed story-song, which I usually don't like. The opening line is so strong that it carries the rest of the song, really.
28. "Funeral Parlor Blues" - I'm always a fan of my father doing atypical things. His first album, Penitentiary Blues, betrays that he never really wanted to be a "country" artist. He came to Nashville with R&B ambitions that didn't pan out.
27. "Take It Easy Rider" - I love Guy Clark. I love Larry Jon Wilson.26. "Under Rachel's Wings" - You can't touch this melody. It just evolves and evolves.25. "Southern Man" - This is so weird and good and, honestly, somehow even more compelling than Neil Young's recording.24. "Now I Lay Me Down to Cheat" - "...awwwww, but it crossed his...." DAC would throw a recitation into every song if he didn't have anyone there to talk him out of it.23. "Ride Me Down Easy" - So many nights singing this on the bus, headed to the next town... That fiddle doesn't quit. This is, to me, a perfect example of my father hearing a great song, taking it and putting it in his pocket and saying, "That's mine now."22. "Ice Cold Love" - I have seen people say this is the WORST David Allan Coe song. I don't get that at all. This song is amazing. Look at the album cover (Rough Rider). Okay, now imagine THAT DUDE going into a professional recording studio with a Casio keyboard and telling the session musicians they can sit this one out because he's got it all covered.21 & 20. "Human Emotions"/"(She Finally Crossed Over) Love's Cheating Line" - These are one musical moment and flow together on the LP seamlessly. It's perfect. You can hear the Ray Charles influence so clearly. The melody of "she packed up her suitcase" gets stuck in my head on a regular basis. I would like to dedicate the second song to my horrible ex-girlfriend who (yeah, did cheat on me but also) said my father isn't a very good singer and mostly "just kind of talks." I broke up with her a couple days after she said that. And...19. "I'm Gonna Hurt Her on the Radio" - This is the fantasy. She breaks your heart and you become rich and famous and she can't escape it.18. "Honey Don't" - Rebel Son does a great cover of this live. I don't have any idea what all of the stuff about being a roadie for the devil is supposed to mean.17. "Piece of Wood and Steel" - I still have trouble keeping this song and #14 apart because we'd always work them into a medley for the live show. I'm not a fan of the Marty Robbins background vocals on this recording but man is this song tough. When you're ten years deep into the life of a constantly touring musician, it's the only thing you can see, the only thing that matters. Your relationships fall away and you're left stripped down to one thing: your instrument. All you are is a guitar.16. "Just to Prove My Love for You" - Pure novelty but done exactly right.15. "I Hate Love" - This is a tough one to perform when it's the truth. There was a particularly rough period when I was extremely heartbroken and would end up sobbing during every show. This song was the one that did it most nights. Waylon & Willie add some flavor to this recording.14. "She Used to Love Me a Lot" - The story here is actually pretty cruel. The narrator sees a woman who used to think he hung the moon and decides to see if he can get back in there for a night. Keep in mind we'd medley this with "Piece of Wood & Steel," so the narrator could be viewed as having sociopathic tendencies.13. "Why You Been Gone So Long" - I love this recording but I gotta take this opportunity to let fellow Mickey Newbury fans know that Saint Cecilia Knows put together this Mickey box set that you absolutely must own. I hope to eventually write a piece dedicated to it. In the meantime, get it on Amazon (Drag City reissue): An American Trilogy12. "Another Pretty Country Song" - I heard that this was the only song played at the funeral for the members of Lynyrd Skynyrd who died in that plane crash. I have no way of knowing if that's true but the song is a great debunker of how glamourous life on "the road" is supposed to be. Your family gets neglected and almost nobody knows who you are as a person but, hey, sweet jewelry.11. "Rough Rider" - These lyrics are amazing. Guy walks into a bar thinking he's the man and the barmaid lets him know he's just a man.10. "Would You Lay With Me (In a Field of Stone)" - Written as wedding vows for my uncle's wedding. Jumpstarted Tanya Tucker's career when she was just a teenager. You might know that stuff but you probably don't know that Townes Van Zandt was convinced my father stole this melody from his song, "If I Needed You." The beginning of the melody (and only the beginning) is very close, I'll give him that. But my father always maintained that Townes was actually the one who stole the melody but (being a notorious blackout drunk) mistakenly thought it was the other way around. Both songs were written and performed publicly around the same time, so there's no real way to know who got to it first. And I love Townes' music but there's no question this is the better song.09. "Ghost of Hank Williams" - Nobody sings about Hank better than DAC sings about Hank. Nobody.08. "Got You On My Mind" - Back to the Texas Moon album again. These sad blues-y songs work so well with his deep voice. He can hum and that's all it takes. Side note: from playing Jimmy Reed's "Honest I Do" so much live, I always think it's on Texas Moon. The sad truth is that my father never recorded his version of it.07. "Until Hell Freezes Over" - It's mostly tears from here on, boys and girls. If you haven't heard Living on the Edge, be very careful here. The album can absolutely destroy you if love hasn't panned out well in your life. Trivia: Bonnie "Prince" Billy recorded a cover of a different song from the album. I don't really like it but I don't really like any of his music - no offense.06. "If This Is Just a Game" - Another shoplifting melody. The keyboard parts are perfect.05. "Crazy Mary" - Saddest narrative in any song I've heard in my life. I tracked down the folk singer who wrote the song and his version is nothing like this. The violin on this track is massive. This is one for a rainy day.04. "A Sad Country Song" - This song is more about sad country songs than it is a sad country song itself but I like post-modern stuff.03. "You Take My Breath Away" - Crippling, for very personal reasons and it wouldn't be fair to other people still living for me to explain.02. "Spotlight" - This is the pinnacle of songs written about the life of a performing artist. Everything that nobody ever says and that Bob Dylan started trying to say to the media in the mid-'60s is right here, laid out in plain English. It's all just a matter of perspective.
01. "Pledging My Love" - Seriously, please, do not listen to this if you are having a hard time with a significant other. The intro about Johnny Ace committing suicide directly after recording his version of this song isn't exactly true and neither is it true that Johnny died playing Russian Roulette. But, hey, they didn't have the Internet when my father heard the story. His version of it, though, is what I've known for most of my life and certainly affects my reaction to the song. It haunts me, the idea of a man writing these words and then killing himself because it rings so true, even though it isn't at all.
Thank you for your time.
Are there any questions?
-TMC
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