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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

June 10, 2012

J.C. Hardaway Big S BBQ (1924-2002) Greatest Hits!

I, for one, miss J.C. Hardaway's barbecue sandwich and The Big S Grill...

Terrible to find out that our favorite pitmaster has passed away. JC Hardaway, who made the best chopped pork sandwiches and hamburgers in Memphis, passed away sunday at age 78.

Visiting the Big S to chow down on JC's food was a weekly ritual. JC would bring out a pad of paper and we'd jot down the orders while he brought out our quarts of beer, always chuckling to himself about something or other, always enthused that we came for his food.

our standard approach was to order one cheeseburger and one chopped sandwich- the heat from the bbq would be tempered by the burger, and everything then washed down by some cold beer. Damn! The combination of flavors and the permanently-midnight interior decor of the big S made the the whole experience otherworldly- we never wanted to leave.

Ribs weren't always available- possibly because JC seemed to get the biggest ribs i've ever seen- and maybe buffalo ribs weren't always for sale in Memphis? When we did opt for the ribs,they were tangy, salty, and sweet. And big enough for at least one more meal.

It was always great taking foreigners into this "bad area" and watching their responses as they tasted the food. It was great the way JC would greet 'em "where are you from? France? Have you heard of me? I'm world-famous!" It was great the time jay went nuts and ate 4 cheeseburgers. or was it bbq sandwiches? it was a lot of food, either way. It was great when we were watching the hopeless, hapless Grizz beat the Lakers on tv in the Big S. It was great when we finished the Big S t-shirts, with JC's face on the back.... turned out to be a limited edition. I hope you got yours.

A group of us went to see him a while back when he first went into the hospital and brought him some things, but he was heavily medicated and so out of it that i think we confused him more than helped. JC, true to form, kept trying to get out of bed to fix my friend eric a cheeseburger.

we miss you JC.

 

J.C. Hardaway, Pit Master, 1924-2002

by Lolis Eric Elie

It was Frank Stewart's memory that led us to Hawkins Grill that May night in 1993. As a boy, growing up in Memphis, he had eaten barbecue at that small, unheralded place. All those years later, the flavor of the place lingered in his memory.

The sandwiches we would eat that night at Hawkins Grill would be the first of many we would ingest in the course of preparing our book, Smokestack Lightning: Adventures in the Heart of Barbecue Country. It was an unfortunate beginning, in a way. J.C. Hardaway, the pitmaster at Hawkins Grill, would come to represent for me and for many the ultimate in barbecue mastery. Little did we know that biting into those sandwiches we would put ourselves on a long and disappointing road. We tasted barbecue all over this vast country of ours. None of it was better than what we ate that night at Hawkins Grill. J.C.'s was a meticulous method.

Sitting on a hot grill, there was a pork shoulder wrapped in aluminum foil. As Al Green or Albert King or Frankie Beverly played on the jukebox, J.C. cut a few slices and set them to warm on the grill. On the same grill, he toasted the hamburger buns. While the meat cooked, he splashed them with barbecue sauce from an old Palmolive dish detergent bottle. The meat was then placed on a worn chopping board, chopped with a dull clever, placed on the toasted bun, topped with a mayonnaise-based coleslaw, cut in half, stuck with a toothpick, and served.

It was a sandwich like that one that led me to write, "In J.C. Hardaway, the shoulder sandwich has discovered its Stradivarius." The sentiment was not mine alone. J.C. was the only chef invited to cook twice at the Southern Foodways Alliance's annual symposium. There is no more exacting audience for American food than that crowd. He wowed them as he did everyone.

You would think that in Memphis, Tennessee, a barbecue crazed town, that a man like J.C. Hardaway would be a local legend, right up there with B.B. King and Elvis Presley. But truth be told, he worked in relatively obscurity, known only by the folks in the neighborhood and the few serious connoisseurs who sought him out near the corner of Bellview and McLemore. The local food critics didn't know him. And even at Hawkins, his genius wasn't appreciated. The owners sold the place and the new owners deluded themselves into thinking they could cook as well as J.C. The business died while J.C. moved around the corner to the Big S Grill, where he completed his career.

Little by little he came to be more widely known. He was mentioned in magazine articles, and in his hometown newspaper. He was honored with the Keeper of the Flame award by the Southern Foodways Alliance, and his fans even had t-shirts and business cards printed up for him. But the end was bittersweet. Years of standing up 12 hours a day, cooking, serving, and cleaning took its toll. His advanced age and failing health made it difficult for him to fully enjoy the accolades that were his in later life.

But when those many midnights turned to mornings and when the small aisle of Hawkins was filled with dancers and there were as many empty quart beer bottles on the bar as there were full ones left in the cooler, what emerged on the plate from J.C. Hardaway's cramped kitchen was as much about nostalgia as it was about food. The taste of his sandwiches invoked the ancestors. And as you ate at Hawkins, the nostalgic details of your own biography in food played in your mind, while you chewed with an intense silence.

So it is fitting now that for the happy few who knew J.C. and his genius, he has become a legend. An ancestor. And years from now, when we are that much further from his era and its culinary ideals, we will still conjure that flavor in our mouth's memory and smile.

- Lolis Eric Elie

 

[[posterous-content:pid___0]][[posterous-content:pid___1]]

Memphis pit masters Raymond Robinson (Cozy Corner Barbecue) and J. C. Hardaway (Big S Lounge) serve up their origin stories and talk meat—from Boston butt to ribs to Cornish hens.

Smokestack Lightning, a Day in the Life of Barbecue. Filmmakers and serious eaters Scott Stohler and David Bransten of Bay Package Productions follow ten subjects from five different states, exploring "the history and tradition of this food from its rural beginnings to its present day incarnation in large-scale commercial organizations."

J.C. Hardaway is a famous Memphis pit master and owner of the Big S. Lounge. His sauce is simple and very good.

J.C.Hardaway's Famous BBQ Sauce

  • 1 - 18 ounce bottle of Kraft Hickory Smoked BBQ Sauce
  • 1 3.5 ounce bottle Liquid Smoke
  • 1.5 lbs. granulated sugar. (I use half that amount.)
  • 4 cups white or red vinegar (I use Mussleman's apple cider vinegar.)
  • 1 - 16 ounce bottle Hunt's Tomato Ketchup (J.C. says it has to be Hunt's.)


You can add a touch of fire, like Tabasco, if you like. I heat it it up to dissolve the sugar but don't boil it. It keeps for a long time in the fridge.

 

Common terms and phrases

Page 10 - Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a rack.
Page 282 - Place 2 cups watermelon puree, the sugar, corn syrup, and salt in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes.
Page 37 - Cover the pan with foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for 10 minutes.
Page 123 - Put the water, ham, and beans into a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and simmer until the beans are tender, about 2 hours.
Page 277 - /i hours or until golden brown on top and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove the pan from the oven and allow to sit for 5 minutes, then cut into squares and place in individual serving bowls.
Page 27 - Meanwhile, combine the ketchup and brown sugar in a small saucepan and cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves and the sauce is warm.
Page 16 - Drain and set aside. Cook the bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until crisp, about 4 to 5 minutes.
Page 54 - ... vinegar, apple juice or cider, cider vinegar, brown sugar, soy sauce or Worcestershire sauce, mustard, garlic powder, white pepper, cayenne, and bacon bits in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Stir in the apple, onion, and bell pepper. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, 10 to 15 minutes or until it thickens slightly. Stir it often. Allow to cool, then pour into sterilized glass bottles. A glass jar that used to contain mayonnaise or juice works well. Refrigerate for...
Page 219 - Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Cut the butter into small pieces and scatter over the dry ingredients.

I, for one, miss J.C. Hardaway's barbecue sandwich and The Big S Grill... Terrible to find out that our favorite pitmaster has passed away. JC Hardaway, who made the best chopped pork sandwiches and hamburgers in Memphis, passed away sunday at age 78. Visiting the Big S to chow down on JC's food was ... » See Ya at » What Gets Me Hot

June 1, 2012

Urban Cowgirl

Urban Cowgirl http://post.ly/5vWLk via @mrjyn recently removed from @xhamster -- now living here in perpetuity

urban_cowgirl_parody.mp4 Watch on Posterous
2_b_885806

Urban Cowgirl http://post.ly/5vWLk via @mrjyn recently removed from @xhamster -- now living here in perpetuity urban_cowgirl_parody.mp4 Watch on Posterous ... » See Ya at » What Gets Me Hot

Pee Pee Le Poupée (Orig. French Zigounet Peeing Poupée)

Pee Pee Le Poupée (Orig. French Zigounet Peeing Poupée)

 

PEE DOLL.mp4 Watch on Posterous

This is 1:00 of FULL-ON PEEING! Pee Pee Le Poupee (Orig. French Doll Commercial) 'Zigoulette Pi-Pi Doll' (poupee), not a clip from American TV or "Baby Pee Pee Doll" from the UK Version.

French Baby Doll 3-fer! 1:00 FULL-ON PEEING! OUI OUI!  

  • 1. Zigounet PiPi
    2. "Le landau (stroller) des jumeaux de nenina" Nenuco
    3."Mon vrai bebe" Famosa 
     (fonctionne avec 1 pile non fournie)
    Pee Pee Le Poupee (Orig. French Doll Commercial) 'Zigoulette Pi-Pi Doll' (poupee), not a clip from American TV or "Baby Pee Pee Doll" from the UK Version. 

  • [*zigounette 1. Penis - Funny word used by children to determine the penis. zigounette féminin
    (Enfantin) Pénis Mot rigolo qu'utilise les enfants pour définir le pénis]

 

Pee Pee Zigounet Doll (Orig. French Peeing Poupée).pdf Download this file

 

Pee Pee Le Poupée (Orig. French Zigounet Peeing Poupée)   PEE DOLL.mp4 Watch on Posterous This is 1:00 of FULL-ON PEEING! Pee Pee Le Poupee (Orig. French Doll Commercial) 'Zigoulette Pi-Pi Doll' (poupee), not a clip from American TV or "Baby Pee Pee Doll" from the UK Version. French Baby Doll 3-fer! ... » See Ya at » What Gets Me Hot

May 29, 2012

Military To Weaponize Animals

7 Insane Military Attempts To Weaponize Animals

From Hannibal's mighty elephants to Genghis Khan's swift horses, or even those hoversharks the British used in the Falklands, animals have always been used in warfare to fight, and die, right alongside us.

But some animals go farther. We speak, of course, of the exploding animals, those four-legged friends who trotted bravely into battle for the sole purpose of blowing shit up. Even if they didn't know that's what they were doing.

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#7.
Rat Bombs

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/rat.jpg" alt="" />

What Were They Thinking?

1941 was a dark year for England. The Germans had already subjugated half of Europe, the Luftwaffe was pounding London from the air and U-boats were inflicting terrible losses along Allied shipping routes. Assailed on all sides, the English searched high and low for a chink in the seemingly impenetrable armor of the German war machine.

Then, someone said, "I've got it! Rat bombs!" And the entire course of the war was changed not at all.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/rat3.jpg" alt="" />
"Look, all I'm saying is, I bought too many rats and we've got a ton of extra dynamite."

Dear God, What Have We Done?

Developed by the Special Operations Executive, these were actual rat carcasses stuffed with explosives. The plan was to sow German coal supplies with rat bombs in the hope that the rats would be shoveled into boilers along with the coal, whereupon the heat would detonate the bombs.

If successful, the damage to German infrastructure could have been massive.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/rat2.jpg" alt="" />
Jesus, even the rat in the diagram looks like it's in pain.

That's a big freaking "if."

The Result:

The Germans intercepted the first shipment of rat bombs and, alerted to the threat, began scouring their coal supplies for suspiciously stiff, bomb-shaped rat carcasses, whereupon the British gave up on the whole idea. Or at least, that's what they want the rest of the world to think.

#6.
Fire Birds and Bat Bombs

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/bat.jpg" alt="" />

What Were They Thinking?

Since the beginning of time, man has looked with awe at the majesty of birds in flight and thought, "If only those bastards were on fire, man, that'd be awesome." Indeed, people have been trying to use birds as incendiary weapons for ages. The thinking was that if you caught the birds that nested within a walled city, and attached fire to them somehow, they would return to their nests and start an inferno.

Chinese military manuals from the Tang and Ming dynasties describe the technique, and it was put into use by both Olga of Kiev in the 10th century and Viking badass, Harald Hardrade, in the 11th century, and was a success both times.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/bat2.jpg" alt="" />

But the idea didn't reach its full potential until the final years of WWII, when an American dental surgeon, named Lyle S. Adams, tried to come up with a way to bring Japan to its knees.

Dear God, What Have We Done?

Instead of birds, though, Adams proposed using bats. Millions of them. Each bat would have a small incendiary charge attached to its leg. The bats would then be packed by the thousands into special bomb casings and dropped over the target.

At the right altitude, the casings would open and release the bats in a Hellstorm of leathery wings seldom seen outside a Meatloaf album cover. When dawn came, the bats would go off in search of some nice, dark place to sleep. Like a nice, big building. Later, timers would detonate the charges, and all Hell would break loose.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/bat3.jpg" alt="" />
Thanks, Google Image Search!

The Result:

Initial results were promising, including one large-scale test that all involved considered a rousing success. Unfortunately, the military pulled the plug on the project when the atomic bomb came along, even though that bomb didn't involve any bats at all.

Then again... how long until the technology is there to make tiny atomic bombs? Ones small enough that they can be attached to bats?

Just wait, guys. Your time is coming.

#5.
Cat Bombs

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/cat.jpg" alt="" />

What Were They Thinking?

Well, we've done rats and bats, so...

WWII was the golden age of the dive bomber. Dive bombers were especially used to attack high-value targets, such as ships. But even experienced pilots in state-of-the-art planes sometimes missed. How could military engineers improve accuracy when the guidance technology at the time was so limited? If you just jumped to your feet and shouted "Cats, of course!" then you, too, can be a military engineer.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/cat2.jpg" alt="" />

Dear God, What Have We Done?

According to the book A Higher Form of Killing, this was a project of the Office of Strategic Services (the forerunner to the Central Intelligence Agency).

The thinking was that cats hated water so much that, if you dropped a cat bomb in the general vicinity of a ship, the cat would instinctively guide the bomb to the deck below in order to avoid getting wet. Exactly how a 10 pound cat was supposed to guide a 500 pound bomb is unclear. In fact, the entire concept may have been based on experts' confusion between real cats and the sentient ones you see in cartoons.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/cat3.jpg" alt="" />

The Result:

The project never got past the testing stage. It seems the cats tended to lose consciousness when plunging towards the earth at terminal velocity while strapped to a bomb. And that, as much as anything, is why cats will never be man's best friend.

#4.
Camels, Mules, Horses and Donkeys

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/mule.jpg" alt="" />

What Were They Thinking?

Back in 1978, the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan. A homegrown resistance movement--the Mujahideen--soon rose up to challenge the invaders, and the CIA--reasoning that the enemy of the enemy is our friend--wasted no time in helping to train, finance and equip them. Thank God the CIA never acts without considering the long-term consequences.

Dear God, What Have We Done?

In almost any other country in the world, one of the main weapons of a small guerrilla force fighting an invading superpower would be the car bomb: the classic weapon of asymmetric warfare.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/mule2.jpg" alt="" />
Above: "Car."

Unfortunately, we're talking about Afghanistan, a country so bereft of motor vehicles that driving a Pinto will probably get you laid. In the absence of a ready supply of cars, the CIA turned to the next best thing: camels.

The Result:

The Soviet Union was finally defeated and driven out of Afghanistan by 1989, but whether the ultimate cause was domestic politics, global economics or wave after wave of dull-eyed camel bombs, we may never know. What we do know is that the idea of strapping a bomb onto a beast of burden and sending it off to its fiery doom caught on around the world.

Of course, each culture puts its own spin on the idea. In India, they use mules; in Colombia, they use horses and in the Palestinian Territories, they use donkeys.

www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/explanimals/mule3.jpg" alt="" />
This little guy.

And of course, we have the Australian military, whose entire strategy depends on kangaroos bouncing along with bombs strapped to their... oh, wait. That was also a cartoon.

7 Insane Military Attempts To Weaponize Animals From Hannibal's mighty elephants to Genghis Khan's swift horses, or even those hoversharks the British used in the Falklands, animals have always been used in warfare to fight, and die, right alongside us. But some animals go farther. We speak, of cour ... » See Ya at » What Gets Me Hot

May 15, 2012

Being Bobby Brown

You know you miss them

Whitbobboondocks

I love The Boondocks so much, I kind of want to marry it and let it slap me around.

Whitbobboondocks2

Bobby and Whitney, doing it themselves   As a followup to yesterday's Whitney Houston pride post , here's some vintage raw interview footage of Bobby and Whitney on one of his birthdays. As far as I know, this footage has never before been shown in its entirety. As far as the content goes, they are ... » See Ya at » What Gets Me Hot