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The Female Mustache -- an Appreciation - Asylum.com

The Female Mustache -- an Appreciation

Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert.

While eschewing capitalistic freedoms that most humans relish, East Germans have always been good friends to people of Mustached American descent. The East German men, certainly, have supported our efforts and heritage, but our cause has also been championed by East German females.

I was reminded of this kinship with our furry lady friends while reviewing the "talent" on Women With Mustaches, a new effort by Matthew Inman of TheOatmeal.com. With this offering, Mr. Inman has thrown the spotlight on a subject that too often leads those sporting a lady lip covering to hide in the shadows, wearing out perfectly good tweezers. Alas, this self-mutilation has gone on for far too long.

Dr. Froman praises the virtues of the female 'stache, after the jump.

Our appreciation of the female 'stache began, in fact, with East German Olympic swimmers Kornelia Ender, Barbara Krause and Carola Nitschke -- best known for being dogged by rumors and accusations of steroid use. These fuzzy ladies have actually led the American Mustache Institute's East Berlin chapter since 1979.

Yes, Ms. Ender, who won four gold and four silver medals at the 1972 and 1976 Olympics, revealed the she started receiving injections at the age of 13. However, her work in leading our chapter and propagating the East German mustached lifestyle has brought a sense of national pride to Germany, even in dark times.

Mustaches for Men Only?

Mr. Inman's Web site reminded me of the question I am most often asked when skateboarding down the streets of Detroit wearing nothing but knickers and a tank-top reading "hot rod." That is, "What constitutes a bad mustache?"

While doing this exercise, remember that there are no bad ideas in a brainstorm (unless they contradict mine), and a "good" breast reduction is not an achievable objective. In other words, there is no such thing as a "bad" mustache.

Whether you look to the lower nose accoutrement of the Lakers' Adam Morrison, film director John Waters' pencil-thin, a patchy growth forest of a 17-year-old stunt midget, or the labia sebucula (Latin for "lip sweater") of a robust, sensual woman -- a mustache is a thing of beauty, art, wonder and pleasure.

Never forget what we teach in the pre-K program at the American Mustache Institute: A mustache -- any mustache -- is a terrible thing to shave.

For Dr. Abraham J. Froman's mustache perspective, check in every Wednesday on Asylum.

Tags:   mustache - women

The Female Mustache -- an Appreciation - Asylum.com

Cuba Runs Out of Toilet Paper - Asylum.com

Cuba Runs Out of Toilet Paper

Cuba, known for its abundance of vintage American automobiles, baseball players and Buena Vista Social Clubs, has found itself in the middle of full-blown Cuban Toilet Paper Crisis.

The state-run company that manufactures the country's T.P. supply, Cimex, said they are currently unable to produce or import enough raw materials to make more toilet paper until at least December. "The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," said a Cimex spokesperson.

Meanwhile, President Raul Castro announced budget cuts last week that slashed imports by 20 percent. That, combined with the raw materials shortage, has led to the rapid disappearance of toilet paper from store shelves.

Until more supplies are produced, citizens are encouraged to conserve toilet paper by tearing off fewer squares, switching from two-ply to one-ply or using cigar wrappers.

From the Web:
The Biggest and Most Bizarre Parties In the World. (WebUrbanist)
7 Terrifying Giant Versions of Tiny Creatures. (Cracked)

Cuba Runs Out of Toilet Paper - Asylum.com

Johnny Thunders, Willie DeVille...Oh My! - BlackBook

The death of rocker Willy Deville the other day reminded me of an old story. When rocker Johnny Thunders mysteriously died in New Orleans back in 1991, Willy happened to live next to his hotel. When reporters started to ask him what he knew, Willy made up the romantic story that the New York Dolls Heartbreakers superhero was found dead with his guitar in his hand. In reality, Johnny was found locked in a death grip “u shape” with his large methadone supply, passport and other valuables gone. My buddy Dee Dee Ramone blew the whole thing up and blamed the death on the unsavory characters that Johnny was hanging with. Yet the New Orleans police seemed to not give a damn about anoyher dead junkie and didn’t look too hard for his killers.

I grew up around the corner from the punk guitarist. He was Johnny Genzale back then, and he was the neighborhood creep. I remember him as a loser, a loner, the guy most likely to sniff glue. He was a few months older than me, and I at one point tried to be his friend. Even as a kid i was drawn to the fringe. He repaid me by stealing my baseball glove. I chased him down and got it back. He hadn’t sold it, he just wanted it to play ball with. For months after he would cross the street in fear of me. I reconnected with him back at Max’s Kansas City. We developed a loose friendship based on a common youth and neighborhood. He once pulled a beautiful blond groupie around the balcony at the old Ritz, now Webster Hall, to impress me, and degrade her. She allowed him to treat her like a dog and he winked at me with a “look how far I’ve come” look. It was frighteningly pathetic, but to most he was a fabulous rock star living an enviable life. I just saw the neighborhood sad sack faking happiness. I pulled a few needles from his arm over the years upstairs at Max’s, and bought him a few meals, then drifted out of his life as he sought stardom and embraced demons. I’d see him around the Ramones loft, Max’s, CBGB’s and the rest of the local joints. I’d always catch his bands. On stage he was lightning, power, anger, fear. He was a guitar hero. The dolls broke out glam, broke all the rules, but then broke up. Malcolm McClaren pushed the Heartbreakers who were just a hair from stardom. One night when his face looked like it was going to crawl away, Ramones artistic director Arturo Vega turned to me and said “when he first hit the Bowery punk scene, he looked like an angel. His skin was perfect, white like porcelain.” The price of limited fame and not enough of really anything except drugs and groupies was exacting its toll. Advanced leukemia was his very secret burden as well. Willy Deville said that “he went out in a blaze of glory,” and told a little white lie to add to the legend. Now my boy Black John has adapted a screenplay called Who Killed Johnny Thunders? into a one man rock show. I’m gonna catch it next time it plays out.

Roxy, Johnny Thunder, Pacha, Oh My! - BlackBook

School’s Out and Your Kids Are Online: OnlineFamily.Norton

School’s Out and Your Kids Are Online:

Do You Know What They’ve Been Searching For This Summer?

During summer vacation, kids have more time to spend online chatting with friends, playing online games, and just surfing the Web. But this added time on the Internet can lead to trouble if parents don’t have “The Talk” with their kids about appropriate and inappropriate online behavior. Symantec has identified the top searches conducted by kids online this summer through its family safety service, OnlineFamily.Norton,* and some of the results may surprise parents and leave them asking “Who is Fred?”

According to OnlineFamily.Norton, kids’ top 100 search terms include sites like YouTube, eBay and Craigslist, as well as social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. The words “sex” and “porn” also made it to the top, ranking number four and six respectively. Number nine on the list was “fred,” for Fred Figglehorn, a popular fictional character whose YouTube channel has become a hit among kids. Other popular search terms include Michael Jackson, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and the Black Eyed Peas’ song “Boom Boom Pow.” Check out the full list below:

• 1. YouTube
• 2. Google
• 3. Facebook
• 4. Sex
• 5. MySpace
• 6. Porn
• 7. Yahoo
• 8. Michael Jackson
• 9. Fred (A popular fictional character whose YouTube channel has become a hit among kids.)
• 10. eBay
• 11. You Tube
• 12. YouTube.com
• 13. Gmail
• 14. Wikipedia
• 15. Miley Cyrus (Singer and star of the Disney Channel’s hit series “Hannah Montana.”)
• 16. Webkinz (Toy stuffed animal that comes with a secret code, allowing kids access to the Webkinz World website.)
• 17. Games
• 18. Miniclip (Website with a variety of free online games.)
• 19. Taylor Swift (Country-pop singer)
• 20. Hotmail
• 21. Norton Safety Minder (The small software that is part of Symantec’s OnlineFamily.Norton service. It is installed on each child’s monitored computer and actively informs the child upon log-in that their parents are monitoring their online activities.)
• 22. Club Penguin (A massively multiplayer online game where kids use cartoon penguins as avatars.)
• 23. Addicting games (Website with a variety of free online games.)
• 24.+Google.com
• 24.+MySpace.com
• 26. Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas’ hit song.)
• 27. Hannah Montana (Disney Channel’s hit series where the main character is played by Miley Cyrus.)
• 28. Boobs
• 29. Twilight (Vampire-romance novel by Stephenie Meyer, which has become a hit movie.)
• 30. Lady Gaga (American recording artist responsible for hits like “Just Dance” and “Poker Face.”)
• 31. Yahoo.com
• 32. Yahoo Mail
• 33. Walmart
• 34. Craigslist
• 35. Amazon
• 36. Mapquest
• 37. Runescape (A massively multiplayer online role-playing game.)
• 38. MSN
• 39. Facebook Login
• 40. Poker Face (Hit pop song by American recording artist Lady Gaga.)
• 41. Lil Wayne (American Grammy Award-winning rapper)
• 42. Disney Channel
• 43. Google Earth
• 44. Weather
• 45. Megan Fox (American actress and star of the Transformers film.)
• 46. Target
• 47. Jonas Brothers (American pop boy band)
• 48. Pokemon (Nintendo media franchise that includes video games, trading cards, toys, books, etc.)
• 49.+Dictionary
• 49.+Eminem (American rapper, record producer and actor)
• 49.+Facebook.com
• 49.+Halo (First-person shooter video game)
• 53. The Climb (Hit song by Miley Cyrus)
• 54. Poptropica (Virtual world for kids where they can play games and communicate with other kids.)
• 55. Selena Gomez (Actress and singer who plays Alex Russon on Disney Channel’s Wizards of Waverly Place.)
• 56. Twitter (Micro-blogging service that allows users to send a read “tweets,” which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters.)
• 57.+Google maps
• 57.+New Moon (The second book in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series.)
• 57.+Right Round (Hit song by rapper Flo Rida)
• 60. www.youtube.com
• 61. Hoedown throwdown (Hit song by Miley Cyrus)
• 62. MySpace layouts (Various websites offer layouts that MySpace users can download to customize their MySpace profiles.)
• 63. I’m on a Boat (Song by The Lonely Islands, featuring R&B singer T-Pain.)
• 64. Don’t Trust Me (Hit song by the band 3Oh!3)
• 65. Funny
• 65. Soulja Boy (Various YouTube videos that parody Soulja Boy’s “Crank That” video.)
• 67. Hotmail.com
• 68. Photobucket (Website that offers image hosting and free photo and video sharing.)
• 69. Demi Lovato (Actress and singer-songwriter best known for her role as Mitchie Torres in the television movie Camp Rock and Sonny Monroe in Sonny With A Chance.)
• 70. Family Guy (Animated TV sitcom that airs on Fox.)
• 71. Music
• 72.+Britney Spears (Hit singer and entertainer)
• 72.+Pussy
• 72.+Thriller (Michael Jackson’s hit 1983 song)
• 72.+Transformers 2 (Action film based on cartoon series and released in theaters in June 2009.)
• 76. Cartoon Network
• 77. Boom Boom Pow Black Eyed Peas (Black Eyed Peas’ hit song.)
• 78. Beyonce (R&B singer, songwriter, record producer and actress)
• 78. Harry Potter (Main character and title of J.K. Rowling’s series of novels and films.)
• 78. Utube
• 81. Girls
• 82. Best Buy
• 83. Gummy Bear Song (Dance song by German composer Christian Schneider. It was released online with a 30-second video clip, which has spread virally worldwide.)
• 84. New Moon Trailer (Movie trailer for the second film in the Twilight series.)
• 85. Disney
• 86. Naked girls
• 87. Hulu (Free online video service that streams TV shows and movies.)
• 88. Naked
• 89.+iTunes (Apple’s digital media player)
• 89.+Norton Online Family (Beta name for Symantec’s OnlineFamily.Norton family safety service)
• 89.+Nude
• 89.+Playboy
• 93. Gmail.com
• 93. Swine flu
• 93. XXX
• 96. Chris Brown (Singer best known for hits like “Forever” and “With You.”)
• 96. Black Eyed Peas (Hip hop/pop group comprised of will.i.am, apl.de.ap, Taboo, and Fergie)
• 98. Ask.com
• 99. Nigahiga (Comedic Hawaiian troop whose videos have become a hit on YouTube and other sites.)
• 100.+Kiss Me Thru the Phone (Hit song by hip-hot artist Soulja Boy.)
• 100.+You Belong With Me (Hit song by artist Taylor Swift.)

Methodology

Between February 2009 and July 2009, Symantec tracked a total of 3.5 million searches that were submitted by users of their OnlineFamily.Norton service. The list of search terms was ranked from those submitted most frequently to those submitted the least. In order to be included in the list of kids’ top search terms, a search term had to have been submitted at least 50 times by registered users of OnlineFamily.Norton.

*Aggregate search terms collected on an anonymous basis through OnlineFamily.Norton. Search terms cannot be associated by Symantec with a specific child, adult, or user account. All personal account information is kept completely separate from the monitoring and reporting functionalities of OnlineFamily.Norton.

+Tied

OnlineFamily.Norton

Elvis Week: Impersonator World Champion Contest (Day 1 - 2009) via: Michael Donahue AND Memphis' COMMERCIAL APPEAL TV

RT @mrjyn - http://bit.ly/ICDsv - Elvis Week: Impersonator FOLLOW

@mrjyn http://twitter.com/mrjyn OR @nichopoulouzo http://twitter.com/nichopoulouzo FOR MORE LIKE...Elvis Week: Impersonator Contest!
ALSO CHECK My Blog: VISUALGUIDANCELTD FOR ONGOING "ELVIS WEAK" NEWS AND VIDEO: HERE http://bit.ly/1kNs2z

August 11th - 15th, 2009 - Memphis, TN

The 2009 World Championship is now underway!
Keep checking back and we'll keep you posted on the 2009 World Champion!


Congratulations to the 2008 WORLD CHAMPION - Gino Monopoli
Special Guest Performances!
1987 World Champion: Glenn Bowles.
2003 World Champion: Robert Washington
1988 World Champion: Michael Hoover

(Contestants in Performance Order)
Alex Swindle
Jim Bishop
Dale Rushing
Gary Elvis Britt
Travis Allen
Josh Elvis Staggs
Kavan
Joseph Hall
E. J. Sharp
Bradley Scott
Jim Barone
Andy Wood
Mark Anthony

On the 32st Anniversary of the death of the King, Elvis Presley: We are delighted to welcome everyone to share in the excitement of the 23rd Annual Images of the King -
World Championship Contest!


ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS IN THE 2009 IMAGES OF THE KING - Check in time will be 2 PM in the Grand Ballrom on Tuesday 8/11, Wednesday 8/12 and Thursday 8/13. Check in time for the finals will be 4:30 PM in the Grand Ballroom on Friday 8/14 and Saturday 8/15

Karaoke in the lobby Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday at 2PM - Karaoke with Brandon Dale after evening competitions in 1st Floor lobby

MC Ronny Craig kicks of the 2009 World Championship
Preliminaries Round 1
Tuesday August 11th, 2009

The Images of the King Contest has evolved into a family reunion, expo and entertainment showcase. We would like to thank all who have supported us throughout the years...and we also thank each one of you for your continued support!

imagesoftheking

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY THESE SPECIAL "ELVIS WEAK" SELECTIONS

Elvis Week: Impersonator World Champion Contest

http://bit.ly/ICDsv

Elvis' 3-Wheel Motorcycle Trike

http://bit.ly/auqBm

Retarded* Elvis *MENTALLY CHALLENGED

http://bit.ly/mjgSv

Jerry Lee Lewis and Ruth Buzzi - Breathless (Again)

http://bit.ly/NSUw9

#MICHAELJACKSON FANS CHECK OUT THE HUGE SELECTION:

****Michael Jackson 'Wife' Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise

http://bit.ly/cmeQV

AND:

Pilot Fish (Giant Shark Attacks Jet)

http://bit.ly/zDI8k

Kim Jong IL vs Nicolas Sarkozy

http://bit.ly/lKGDk

White Fire: Living to Survive

http://bit.ly/QmLeD

Thanks to:

Michael Donahue @ Donahue.com AND APPEALTV
http://www.commercialappeal.com/

Category: News & Politics

Tags:

Elvis Week Elvis Presley images of the king World Championship tribute artist 2009 Kickoff Impersonators #ELVIS WEEK graceland elvis presley blvd World Champion August 16 2009 23rd Annual twitter.com/mrjyn #MICHAELJACKSON FANS imagesoftheking Michael Donahue commercial appeal appealtv @nichopoulouzo commercialappeal.com #Impersonator #Contest nichopoulouzo #followfriday #video #youtube

Antenna Reunion

• Friday, Aug. 14

When: Saturday, Aug. 15, 3 p.m. to 3 a.m.

Where: Nocturnal, 1588 Madison Avenue, Memphis

Cost: $12 - $20

Age limit: 21+

Categories: Concert

Description: Reunion for the Antenna Club which closed it's doors in June of '95. The reunion dates are August 14th & 15th, to be held in the old Antenna space, now named Nocturnal as well as Murphy's across the street on the corner of Madison Ave. and Avalon.

Doors open at 1 p.m. and music starts around 4 p.m. Tickets sold at the doors the days of the event: $12/day, $20/weekend.

A couple local recording studios will be recording it, as well as Live From Memphis filming it, and it is also being filmed for a documentary Robert Allen Parker is making entitled "The Broken String Film" about the modern Memphis music scene.

NOCTURNAL:
4:30 Jeff Evans & Ross Johnson
5:45 Snakehips
7:00 Linda Heck
8:30 Calculated Dog (former members of Calculated X & Barking Dog)
10:30 Simpletones
12:00 Impala

MURPHY'S:
4:30 Gasoline Grace
6:00 Curly Mojo
7:30 The Perfect Vessels
9:00 Recoil
10:15 No Comply
12:00 Organ Thief

~SATURDAY~

NOCTURNAL:

4:30 Paradoxical Babel
6:00 The Resistors
7:30 El Kabong (featuring Jim Duckworth and his son Dexter)
9:00 Neon Wheels
10:30 Pezz
12:00 Compulsive Gamblers


MURPHY'S:

4:30 Misti White & Friends
5:45 Double Shovel
7:15 Whatever Dude
8:45 Fluorescent Butt Jam
10:15 Hedgecreep
11:15 Evil Twin of Pump Action Retards
12:00 Los Pimpin

Antenna Reunion : GoMemphis.com