*this is the best I could do in the two hours it took to make bullets out of the best read I've had in a while:
"Introducing PRESIDENT CLAIRE Elisabeth CRUISE, otherwise known as: Queen Claire Elisabeth, Pope Claire Elisabeth I, High Priestess Claire Daishonin, Her Holiness The Dalai Lama, The Prophet, The Messiah, Christ, God(dess), Allah, Savior and Leader of the Free World."
WHEN MY LEGAL HUSBAND, MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON WAS INFORMED THAT CHRISTOPHER JOSEPH CAPUTO AND I HAD SUCCESSFULLY BECOME OFFICIALLY ENGAGED, MICHAEL TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.
"I am the biological mother of Prince Michael Jackson II and all of his siblings."
Before I matured into a woman who could naturally conceive, however, scientists were combining my DNA together with other DNA to create babies in the laboratory.
They've been doing this since the time I was just an embryo and they continue to do this to this very day.
For example, the actor, Brad Pitt, was created by combining the DNA from the dead body of Jimmy Dean (Brad in his past life!) together with the DNA from the embryo that was me.
My biological daughter, Brooke Shields, was also brought into existence in this same manner, although I doubt her biological father was any kind of dead body.
Cruise also claims she's married to Michael Jackson "who is now deceased" -- but is also "engaged to Prince Michael Jackson II's biological father."
She also thinks she's the mother of one of Tom Cruise's kids.
MJ Took My Baby, Gave to Tom Cruise Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Michael Jackson is the biological father of one of Tom Cruise's children!
Claire alleges Connor Cruise is her son with Jackson -- but they gave him to Tom and then-wife Nicole Kidman because MJ "did not want his own child because of the color of his skin."
Claire also claims she conceived Jackson's three children with three different men embryos were "safely removed" from her body and given to surrogates to carry to term.
MJ Baby Mama Is 'Crazy' Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Christopher Caputo, did once date the "unstable" woman -- but it's "totally impossible" for him to be the father of any of Michael Jackson's children.
Fields also says she's the "biological mother" of Brad Pitt, all his children, Gisele Bundchen, Leo DiCaprio, Anna Nicole Smith ... and she ran for President.
What Do Tom Cruise And Michael Jackson Have In Common?
A heaping helping of the crazy sauce, with a side of WTF? garnished with a spoonful of “SAY WHAT?
Claire Elisabeth “I AM *CKING INSANE” Fields Cruise three Just watch this and it will explain everything.Jackson children were conceived using some kind of “technology” that does not include all known forms of conception.-------------------
------------ "BIOLOGICAL MOTHER OF ALL JACKSON CHILDREN" LEGAL NAME: CLAIRE ELISABETH FIELDS CRUISE LEGAL MARRIED NAME: CLAIRE ELISABETH JACKSON. I am the biological mother of all of Michael Jackson's children: Prince, Paris and Blanket. could no longer afford to fax paperwork, I was forced to send this Petition by Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation.
Judge Beckloff has delayed the guardianship hearing Tito must be cueing me to contact your organization.
Michael Jackson told his entire family all about me; for decades already have they been eagerly awaiting the time when "PYT" would reveal herself to the world.
I am also still LEGALLY married to Michael Jackson I also am engaged to Blanket's biological father: my high school sweetheart, Christopher Joseph Caputo AND, the biological father of Prince and Paris is my former winemaker boyfriend, Cyril Rouhaut of the south west of France.
Michael Jackson and my fiance, Italian Chris Caputo, have a common ancestor.
However, Connor Cruise is Michael's biological son whom I personally conceived Michael knew this when he allowed Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to adopt him some years ago.
I had not yet realized, remembered or received confirmation that Cyril's and my last embryo was swapped for one of Chris's and mine.
Debbie Rowe is a surrogate mother I have never been paid for what my body naturally created (nor did I ever so selflessly donate my eggs to science).
I am the organizer for Princeton High School Class reunion I will not let my classmates down.
Okay, world: Susan Taylor Shellenbarger began fucking MY Chris Caputo on the side in May, right after Bruce dumped her before School prom.
The biological father of both Prince Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr. and Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson is Cyril Rouhaut of France.
The biological father of Blanket Michael Jackson, II is MY OFFICIAL fiance, Christopher Joseph Caputo of New York, NY.
I am the sole biological mother of all three Jackson children.
Because I am what is known as a savant, the details that fill my meticulous memory banks are staggering.
But unlike most other savants, i Rainman, I do not have any disability whatsoever.
The genius brain I would have been born with had my mother not habitually drank hard liquor and allowed Stanford doctors to routinely inject her with heroin during pregnancy would not be nearly as advanced as my savant brain is.
Due to all the adversities I had to contend with inside AND OUTSIDE my mother's womb, my genius brain over-developed in its desperate effort to compensate for what damage was done to it.
Technically, a savant brain is injured, but in all the areas of my brain that aren't as over-developed, I have always routinely fallen within the normal range.
What this means is that my brain is far more advanced than it would have been had I been born to a healthy, drug and alcohol free mother.
My brain does things I don't even understand.
Debbie Rowe has absolutely no idea that I exist.
I suppose, as a society, we are still quite naive when it comes to embryonic technologies.
Why on earth would any individual or couple who employs the services of a surrogate mother also make her the biological mother of their child?
The whole point of surrogacy is that the person is merely a vessel.
Why didn't anybody in the public demand such DNA testing?!
Bio Dad #2 -- MJ Baby Mama Is 'Crazy'
Posted Aug 10th 2009 3:56PM by TMZ Staff
The parents of another man Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise named in today's wacked out press conference say their son, Christopher Caputo, did once date the "unstable" woman -- but it's "totally impossible" for him to be the father of any of Michael Jackson's children.
Caputo's 'rents tell TMZ the two dated when Chris was 16-years-old. They believe Cruise had "mental issues" back then and was "fixated" on their son.
Chris is now 44 and he hasn't spoken to Cruise since high school.
FYI -- On her MySpace, Fields also says she's the "biological mother" of Brad Pitt, all his children, Gisele Bundchen, Leo DiCaprio, Anna Nicole Smith ... and she ran for President in 2008.How could we be so gullible as a society to believe that a woman who was hired and paid vast amounts of money by Michael Jackson to give birth to his children was ALSO the biological mother of these same children?
Because we give birth, we women harbor quite a lot of control when it comes to the children in our society.
To minimize the control that mere birth gives to a woman in a surrogate situation, it would be vitally important to make sure that she is NOT also the biological mother.
My naturally conceived embryos belong to only me.
I did not voluntarily donate my eggs or profit in any way from what my body naturally created.
I suppose the fact that Michael actually married Debbie Rowe had a lot to do with why we as a society assumed she was not just a surrogate mother.
So many married women in our society are technically surrogate mothers without ever knowing it.
My own sterile mother is an example of this.
The truth is that most women in our society are sterile.
This has been carefully planned so that MY embryos could be properly distributed.
Unlike my biological sons, all my biological daughters are completely sterile.
In the laboratory, however, it is possible for scientists to combine a sterile woman's DNA together with a man's to create a test-tube baby.
I can't help but think that Debbie Rowe had to have been told that it was an embryo, NOT SPERM, that doctors were "injecting" into her uterus.
He would not have ever allowed Debbie to think that those babies were hers.
But now that Michael is dead, perhaps Debbie thinks that she has it in the bag.
Among other completely sane accusations, Claire alleges Connor Cruise is her son with Jackson -- but they gave him to Tom and then-wife Nicole Kidman because MJ "did not want his own child because of the color of his skin."
Claire also claims she conceived Jackson's three children with three different men -- none of them Michael -- and the embryos were "safely removed" from her body and given to surrogates to carry to term.
In related news, unicorns are real.Why would Michael Jackson pick Debbie Rowe to be the biological mother of his children?
What is so special about Debbie Rowe that Michael wanted to breed her?!
Debbie Rowe was just someone in the right place at the right time, desperately offering her body up to Michael Jackson.
Michael killed himself Today.
I want the family to understand that Michael was suffering a great deal.
He had reached the point where he was done being Michael Jackson.
In the days leading up to his death, Michael was so happy to be performing again.
Nothing makes him happier than being upon a stage.
But -year-old Michael was finding it far more difficult than he had ever imagined.
With just weeks to go till his worldwide tour, Michael was just not in the kind of shape he was accustomed to being in.
And, being the obsessive perfectionist that he has always been, Michael didn't want to do it anymore.
Michael was made well aware of my homelessness and it was stressed to him what an incredible mother I would be if only someone would give me a chance to mother my many naturally conceived and other biological children I have all around the world.
After confirming that I would be the best parent to his children, Michael deliberately overdosed on sleeping medications in his desperate effort to finally sleep.
Remember, I was Michael when I was just a girl.
Marriages updated on profile!
I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MICHAEL JACKSON Current mood: impatient Time's up, Jackson Family!
My legal documents indicate that I have requested mediation to work out a parenting plan and that I think that Mrs Jackson should have the right to visit the children as follows: only in a supervised setting to ensure the children's safety from respondent's husband, Joseph Jackson.
I was abused as a child.
Until I receive the vast inheritance left to only me by my maternal grandmother, I survive on a very minimal Florida Social Security Income which so easily qualified me for a waiver of all court fees & costs.
I shall be receiving my inheritance very shortly.
I will NOT be requesting any kind of child support from the Michael Jackson Family Trust.
And, for everyone's information, the biological father of all three ( ) of Michael Jackson's children is my former boyfriend, Cyril Rouhaut of the Southwest of France.
Cyril is a winemaker whose family lives on and manages one of my family estates.
Cyril and I attempted to have a baby together.
It was during this time that I naturally conceived Prince, Paris and Blanket as well as two other children whom I had already located. all embryos -- including Prince, Paris and Blanket -- were safely removed from my uterus less than one month after conception to immediately be frozen and later implanted in the uterus of a surrogate mother.
Of course the public has yet to be informed of the advanced embryonic technologies that make something like this possible.
Although I knew that I was the biological mother of all three of Michael Jackson's children, I hadn't yet remembered who the biological father of these same children was until I could better view Prince, Paris and Blanket without the obstruction of their veils.
It is due to all the trauma I went through as a child as well as an adult that I am still in the process of remembering some very key details of my life.
I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MICHAEL JACKSON.
Leo DiCaprio and I have a mutual, dear friend, who brought Michael to my house in Princeton, NJ to surprise me on my birthday.
Although I gave Michael my personal tour of the town of Princeton and really did like him quite a lot, our marriage was strictly business.
It was before Thriller and Michael had just completed his first round of plastic surgery.
Thus, I didn't actually understand that the dancing African-American musician named Michael Joseph Jackson I married that evening was indeed the famous Michael Jackson whom everyone knew and loved.
Ross Dreiblatt, also a rabbi, not only married us, he also took our wedding photos, one of which features Michael and I kissing (... if not mistaken).
The entire legal ceremony was also video-taped.
When Michael then asked my permission to purchase the Beatles catalog, I casually replied, "sure!" without any conscious understanding of my business connection to this catalog.
As I cannot afford to send anymore faxes until next month, the sheriff will be prevented from serving Mrs Jackson until late August.
I also cannot afford to send away for Michael's and my marriage license until next month, but please do feel free to send away for it, yourself.
Current mood: pissed off. http://myspace.com/
clairecruise I am waiting on the family of Michael Jackson to personally respond to me before I announce yet another bizarre detail of my life that's pretty darn shocking.Kindly respond at your earliest convenience.
Thank you. ------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------ "I am the biological mother of Prince Michael Jackson II and all of his siblings." I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON, I AND AM THE SOLE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER OF ALL THREE JACKSON CHILDREN.
WHEN MY LEGAL HUSBAND, MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON WAS INFORMED THAT CHRISTOPHER JOSEPH CAPUTO AND I HAD SUCCESSFULLY BECOME OFFICIALLY ENGAGED, MICHAEL TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THIS ENGAGEMENT, OFFICIALLY "APPROVED" BY MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON, I I HUSBAND # (NON-LEGAL): THOMAS CRUISE MAPOTHER.
AFTER OUR WEDDING, TOM TOOK MY SUGGESTION AND DROPPED HIS ABUSIVE FATHER'S LAST NAME TO BECOME JUST THOMAS CRUISE IT WAS MY PROMISE TO TOM THAT I WOULD ONE DAY DO THE VERY SAME THING.
I FINALLY FULFILLED MY PROMISE WHEN I FILED FOR MY LEGAL NAME CHANGE AFTER TOM'S WEDDING TO KATIE HOLMES IN DECEMBER OF .
AFTER I GAVE MICHAEL MY PERSONAL TOUR OF PRINCETON, WHERE HE LITERALLY DANCED IN THE STREETS, WE CAME BACK HOME AND ROSS (THEN A RABBI) MARRIED US "FOR BUSINESS PURPOSES."
AFTERWARDS, A JOYFUL MICHAEL TOLD ME THAT I MADE HIM THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE...
ESPECIALLY AFTER I APPROVED HIS PURCHASE OF MY BEATLES CATALOG AND ALLOWED HIM TO CONTINUE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR ALL MY SONGS THAT HE WOULD RECORD AND/OR PERFORM.
AS USUAL, ROSS VIDEOTAPED MICHAEL'S AND MY WEDDING CEREMONY AND TOOK PHOTOS, ONE OF WHICH FEATURES US KISSING ON THE LIPS.
THAT NIGHT, MICHAEL EVEN WORE HIS FAMOUS TRADEMARK RED LEATHER JACKET THAT HE HAD DEBUTED TO THE WORLD IN OUR VIDEO, THRILLER.
YES, I LEGALLY CHANGED MY NAME TO CLAIRE ELISABETH JACKSON WHEN SIGNING OUR MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS.
IN LATE OR EARLY , I CAN REMEMBER MY SHOCK WHEN NOTICING THAT THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER ACTUALLY PUBLISHED THESE SAME WEDDING PHOTOS WITH MY FACE BLURRED AND FADED OUT.
WHEN I SAW THEM ON THE NEWSSTAND, I BECAME SO VERY CONFUSED, I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT AND INSTANTLY BLOCKED OUT ALL MEMORIES OF THE EVENT.
MY GREATEST FEAR WAS THAT CHRIS CAPUTO WOULD SEE THESE WEDDING PHOTOS.
AT THE TIME OF OUR WEDDING CEREMONY, I JUST DID NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I HAD JUST MARRIED THE FAMOUS MICHAEL JACKSON EVERYONE KNOWS AND LOVES.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY THAT IS.
ON THE EVE OF RON'S AND NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON'S BRUTAL MURDER ON JUNE.
I WORE THE PALE GREEN FLOWERED DRESS THAT I HAD PURCHASED TO WEAR.
BECAUSE NEITHER RON NOR MYSELF ACTUALLY KNEW THAT ROSS WAS A RABBI, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW THIS WEDDING WAS FOR REAL AND LEGAL.
THIS WAS DONE TO COMPLETE A "TRANSACTION" SO THAT I COULD RECEIVE MY INHERITANCE.
THE NEXT MORNING, NOT REALIZING WE WERE ALREADY MARRIED, I FINALLY AGREED TO MARRY RON, AND WAS FORCED TO BREAK UP WITH MY ABSENTEE BOYFRIEND BY VOICEMAIL IN ORDER TO BECOME "ENGAGED" TO RON (OR SO WE THOUGHT).
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWN RELATION TO THE OB/GYN KNOWN AS WARREN DUNLAP ELLIOTT .D , OR HIS WIFE, CLAIRE .
I co-wrote the Queen classic you hear: We Are the Champions.
To be clear, I naturally conceived this baby without my prior consent or knowledge, by way of date-rape drugs... for breeding purposes.
George Michael, who is actually one of Ross's many personas whom I helped to name, also slightly resembles Chris Caputo."
Claire Cruise Is America waiting, waiting, waiting...
Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise
Female
43 years old
South Miami, Florida
Claire Cruise Is America's Details
Status: Engaged
Here for: Friends
Orientation: Straight
Hometown: Princeton, NJ
Body type: 5' 5"
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Religion: Buddhist
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Smoke / Drink: No / Yes
Children: Proud parent
Education: Some college
Occupation: World Peace Leader
Income: Less than $30,000
June 12, 1994 - present
Fortress Investment
New York, New York US
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/10/biological-father-crazy-baby- mama-needs-help/
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/10/woman-mj-took-my-baby-gave-to- tom-cruise/
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/10/michael-jackson-paternity- guardianship-estate-prince/
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/10/michael-jackson-claire- elisabeth-fields-cruise- paternity/
http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/10/michael-jackson-court-hearing- live-updates/
http://www.myspace.com/clairecruise Another Random Woman Wants MJ's Kids
Posted Aug 10th 2009 11:07AM by TMZ Staff
They're coming out of the woodwork -- someone else is trying to lay claim to Michael Jackson's kids.
A woman who goes by the name Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise has filed three guardianship petitions -- one for each of MJ's three kids -- claiming "I am the biological mother of Prince Michael Jackson II and all of his siblings." Cruise also claims she's married to Michael Jackson "who is now deceased" -- but is also "engaged to Prince Michael Jackson II's biological father."
She also thinks she's the mother of one of Tom Cruise's kids.
Welcome to Neverland.Woman -- MJ Took My Baby, Gave to Tom Cruise
Posted Aug 10th 2009 1:50PM by TMZ Staff
In one of the wildest court pressers ever, Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise, the woman who claims to be the biological mother of MJ's kids, just said Michael Jackson is the biological father of one of Tom Cruise's children!
