Michael Jackson Buried on Saturday. Is His Body Safe? True Stories of Celebrity Corpse Kidnappings | The Faster Times
On Saturday, Michael Jackson will be buried in the Holly Terrace of the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California. Forest Lawn is the Disneyland of famous cemeteries, designed to convince people that death is not a sorrowful ending but a return to joyful innocence. The grounds, littered with flowered shrubs and reproductions of famous works of art, have names like Eventide, Graceland, Babyland (for babies), and Dawn of Tomorrow. Among the many celebrities buried at Forest Lawn, those in the Great Mausoleum get the ultimate luxury in afterlife services: round-the-clock security. The building is heavily guarded, and off-limits to the public.
According to a strange article last week on CBS News, the Jackson family chose the site because they were terrified that fans might try to kidnap MJ’s corpse. While that may sound bizarre, famous corpses have been kidnapped before. Consider the case of Elvis Presley, who died in 1977. According to Christine Quigley, author of The Corpse: A History, eleven days after Elvis’ death four men were arrested for trying to kidnap his body, which they had planned for hold for a ransom.
Or consider Charlie Chaplin, whose body was kidnapped in 1978, a year after he was buried in Switzerland. Chaplin’s widow refused to pay the £400,000 ransom, claiming her husband would have thought the sum ridiculous. A few weeks later, the famous comedian’s body was discovered intact in a nearby cornfield.
Abraham Lincoln’s corpse was also kidnapped, or nearly. In 1876, a gang of Chicago counterfeiters plotted to kidnap his body and hold it in exchange for their imprisoned ringleader. Fortunately, they were stupid enough to allow a Secret Service agent in on the plan, and were foiled just after they had gotten into the tomb and were trying to figure out a way to lift up Lincoln’s coffin. Afterward, Robert Lincoln got his father’s coffin covered in steel bars, sunk ten feet below the floor, and piled with tons of cement. Still, the coffin has been moved 17 times since then in response to other kidnapping threats.
Gram Parsons’ corpse was actually kidnapped, though this time by friends. Parsons’ buddies were determined to fulfill his last wish, which was to be cremated and scattered in Joshua Tree National Park. His father, however, had other plans, and booked his body on a plane home to New Orleans for a proper funeral. Parson’s friends, probably drunk and stoned out of their minds, managed to convince workers at LAX to hand over the coffin, which they drove to Joshua Tree in a borrowed hearse and then doused in gasoline. The cops eventually caught up with them, but not before most of Parsons’ body was incinerated in a giant fireball.
Going further back, John Milton was allegedly exhumed by drunken church officials in 1790. While historians are divided on the veracity of the tale, it’s said the officials stole Milton’s ribs as souvenirs, and that cemetery workers put his body on display the next day, charging six pence for admission. For years afterwards, relics said to have once belonged to Milton’s body circulated among English collectors.
Those are just a few of the times people have managed the get inside coffins of the famous. Frankly, fans behave badly enough when they leave the coffin alone. James Dean’s headstone has been stolen twice, while Jim Morrison’s grave has seen so many crazed devotees that it now has a 24-hour security detail. The grave of Oscar Wilde, who is buried at the same cemetery as Morrison, is so covered in lipstick kisses that his stone is starting to decay. It makes sense that celebrities like Michael Jackson, hounded every waking moment by paparazzi, would prefer to spend their eternities resting in well-guarded peace.
