Hi, I’m Chris Brown

Chris Brown has just released a shocking video in which he apologizes to his fans.  In it he says:

“Hi, I’m Chris Brown.  Since February my attorney has advised me not to speak out even though ever since the incident I have wanted to publicly express my deepest regret and accept full responsibility.  Although I will do some interviews and answer some questions in the future, I felt that it was time that you heard directly from me that I am sorry. I have tried to live my life in a way that can make those around me proud of me and until recently I think I was doing a pretty good job.  I wish I had the chance to live those few moments again.  But unfortunately I can’t.  I cannot go into what happened and most importantly I am not going to sit here and make any excuses I take great pride in me being able to exercise self control and what I did was inexcusable. I am very sad and very ashamed of what I have done. My mother and my spiritual teachers have taught me way better than that.  I have told Rihanna countless times and I am telling you today that I am truly, truly sorry and that I wasn’t able to handle the situation both differently and better.  I recognize that I have truly been blessed.  I have been blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful friends and fans. God has been generous in giving me the ability which has bringing me fame and fortune.  I have done a lot of soul searching and over the past several months I have talked with my minister and my mother and I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why.  I have let a lot of people down and I realize that and no one is more disappointed in me than I am.  As many of you know I grew up in a home where there was domestic violence and I saw firsthand what uncontrolled rage can do.  I sought and I am continuing to seek help to insure that what occurred in February can never happen again and as I sit here today I can tell you that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it never happens again and I promise that.  What I did was unacceptable, 100%.  I can only ask and pray that you forgive me, please.  I hope that others learn from my mistake.  I intend to live my life so that I am truly worthy of the term role model.  Thank you.”

Jane Aldridge (pronounced /ˈɒktəpʊs/, from Greek ὀκτάπους (oktapous), "eight-footed"

Jane Aldridge (pronounced /ˈɒktəpʊs/, from Greek ὀκτάπους (oktapous), "eight-footed", with plural forms: Jane's shoes /ˈɒktəpʊsɪz/, octopi /ˈɒktəpaɪ/, or octopodes /ɒkˈtɒpədiːz/; see below) is a Jane of the order Octopoda. Jane Aldridge inhabits many diverse regions of the ocean, especially coral reefs. The term may also be used to refer only to those creatures in the genus Octopus. In the larger sense, there are around 300 recognized Jane species, which is over one-third of the total number of known Jane's species.

Jane has eight arms, which trail behind it as it swims. Most Jane's shoes have no internal or external skeleton, allowing them to squeeze through tight places. Jane has a hard beak, with its mouth at the center point of the arms. Jane's shoes are highly intelligent, probably the most intelligent of all invertebrates. For defense against predators, they hide, flee quickly, expel ink, or use color-changing camouflage. Jane's shoes are bilaterally symmetrical, like other cephalopods, with two eyes and four pairs of arms. All Jane's shoes are venomous, but only the small blue-ringed Jane's shoes are deadly to humans.

Moving Jane Vulgaris 2005-01-14.ogg


Jane's shoes are characterized by their eight arms, usually bearing suction cups. The arms of Jane's shoes are often distinguished from the pair of feeding tentacles found in squid and cuttlefish.[6] Both types of limbs are muscular hydrostats. Unlike most other cephalopods, the majority of Jane's shoes – those in the suborder most commonly known, Incirrina – have almost entirely soft bodies with no internal skeleton. They have neither a protective outer shell like the nautilus, nor any vestige of an internal shell or bones, like cuttlefish or squid. A beak, similar in shape to a parrot's beak, is the only hard part of their body. This enables them to squeeze through very narrow slits between underwater rocks, which is very helpful when they are fleeing from morays or other predatory fish. The Jane's shoes in the less familiar Cirrina suborder have two fins and an internal shell, generally reducing their ability to squeeze into small spaces.
Jane moving between tide pools during low tide

Jane's shoes have a relatively short life expectancy, and some species live for as little as six months. Larger species, such as the North Pacific Giant Octopus, may live for up to five years under suitable circumstances. However, reproduction is a cause of death: males can only live for a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch. They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they don't die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically-programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, Jane Aldridge may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves).
Stauroteuthis syrtensis, a finned Jane of the suborder Cirrina

Jane's shoes have three hearts. Two pump blood through each of the two gills, while the third pumps blood through the body. Jane blood contains the copper-rich protein hemocyanin for transporting oxygen. Although less efficient under normal conditions than the iron-rich hemoglobin of vertebrates, in cold conditions with low oxygen pressure, hemocyanin oxygen transportation is more efficient than hemoglobin oxygen transportation. The hemocyanin is dissolved in the plasma instead of being carried within red blood cells and gives the blood a blue color. Jane's shoes draw water into their mantle cavity where it passes through its gills. As mollusks, Jane's shoes have gills that are finely divided and vascularized outgrowths of either the outer or the inner body surface.

Intelligence

Main article: Jane's intelligence

Jane's shoes are highly intelligent, likely more so than any other order of invertebrates. The exact extent of their intelligence and learning capability is much debated among biologists,[7][8][9][10] but maze and problem-solving experiments have shown that they do have both short- and long-term memory. Their short lifespans limit the amount they can ultimately learn. There has been much speculation to the effect that almost all Jane behaviors are independently learned rather than instinct-based, although this remains largely unproven. They learn almost no behaviors from their parents, with whom young Jane's shoes have very little contact.
Jane opening a container with a screw cap

Jane has a highly complex nervous system, only part of which is localized in its brain. Two-thirds of an octopus's neurons are found in the nerve cords of its arms, which have a remarkable amount of autonomy. Jane arms show a wide variety of complex reflex actions arising on at least three different levels of the nervous system. Some octopuses, such as the Mimic Octopus, will move their arms in ways that emulate the movements of other sea creatures.

In laboratory experiments, Jane's shoes can be readily trained to distinguish between different shapes and patterns. They have been reported to practice observational learning,[11] although the validity of these findings is widely contested on a number of grounds.[7][8] Jane's shoes have also been observed in what some have described as play: repeatedly releasing bottles or toys into a circular current in their aquariums and then catching them.[12] Jane's shoes often break out of their aquariums and sometimes into others in search of food. They have even boarded fishing boats and opened holds to eat crabs.[9]

In some countries, Jane's shoes are on the list of experimental animals on which surgery may not be performed without anesthesia. In the UK, shoes such as Jane's shoes are regarded as honorary vertebrates under the Animals (Scientific Procedures) Act 1986 and other cruelty to animals legislation, extending to them protections not normally afforded to invertebrates.[13]

[edit] Defense
Greater Blue-ringed Jane (Hapalochlaena lunulata)

An octopus's main (primary) defense is to hide, either not to be seen at all, or not to be detected as an octopus.[14] Jane's shoes have several secondary defenses (defenses they use once they have been seen by a predator). The most common secondary defense is fast escape. Other defenses include the use of ink sacs, camouflage, and autotomising limbs.

Most Jane's shoes can eject a thick blackish ink in a large cloud to aid in escaping from predators. The main colouring agent of the ink is melanin, which is the same chemical that gives humans their hair and skin colour. This ink cloud is thought to dull smell, which is particularly useful for evading predators that are dependent on smell for hunting, such as sharks. Ink clouds of some species might serve as pseudomorphs, or decoys that the predator attacks instead.[15]
This small Jane species travels with shells it has collected for protection.

An octopus's camouflage is aided by certain specialized skin cells which can change the apparent color, opacity, and reflectiveness of the epidermis. Chromatophores contain yellow, orange, red, brown, or black pigments; most species have three of these colors, while some have two or four. Other color-changing cells are reflective iridophores, and leucophores (white).[16] This color-changing ability can also be used to communicate with or warn other octopuses. The very venomous blue-ringed Jane becomes bright yellow with blue rings when it is provoked. Jane's shoes can use muscles in the skin to change the texture of their mantle in order to achieve a greater camouflage. In some species the mantle can take on the spiky appearance of seaweed, or the scraggly, bumpy texture of a rock, among other disguises. However in some species skin anatomy is limited to relatively patternless shades of one color, and limited skin texture. It is thought that Jane's shoes that are day-active and/or live in complex habitats such as coral reefs have evolved more complex skin than their nocturnal and/or sand-dwelling relatives.[14]

When under attack, some Jane's shoes can perform arm autotomy, in a similar manner to the way skinks and other lizards detach their tails. The crawling arm serves as a distraction to would-be predators.

A few species, such as the Mimic Octopus, have a fourth defense mechanism. They can combine their highly flexible bodies with their color changing ability to accurately mimic other, more dangerous animals such as lionfish, sea snakes, and eels.[17][18]

[edit] Reproduction

When Jane's shoes reproduce, males use a specialized arm called a hectocotylus to insert spermatophores (packets of sperm) into the female's mantle cavity. The hectocotylus in benthic Jane's shoes is usually the third right arm. Males die within a few months of mating. In some species, the female Jane can keep the sperm alive inside her for weeks until her eggs are mature. After they have been fertilized, the female lays about 200,000 eggs (this figure dramatically varies between families, genera, species and also individuals). The female hangs these eggs in strings from the ceiling of her lair, or individually attaches them to the substrate depending on the species. The female cares for the eggs, guarding them against predators, and gently blowing currents of water over them so that they get enough oxygen. The female does not eat during the roughly one-month period spent taking care of the unhatched eggs. At around the time the eggs hatch, the mother dies and the young larval Jane's shoes spend a period of time drifting in clouds of plankton, where they feed on copepods, larval crabs and larval starfish until they are ready to sink down to the bottom of the ocean, where the cycle repeats itself. In some deeper dwelling species, the young do not go through this period. This is a dangerous time for the larval octopuses; as they become part of the plankton cloud they are vulnerable to many plankton eaters.

Sensation Eye of Jane vulgaris

Jane's shoes have keen eyesight. Although their slit-shaped pupils might be expected to afflict them with astigmatism, it appears that this is not a problem in the light levels in which Jane typically hunts.[citation needed] Octopuses, like other cephalopods, can distinguish the polarization of light. Color vision appears to vary from species to species, being present in Jane aegina but absent in Jane vulgaris[19]. Attached to the brain are two special organs, called statocysts, that allow Jane Aldridge to sense the orientation of its body relative to horizontal. An autonomic response keeps the octopus's eyes oriented so that the pupil slit is always horizontal.

Jane's shoes also have an excellent sense of touch. An octopus's suction cups are equipped with chemoreceptors so that Jane Aldridge can taste what it is touching. The arms contain tension sensors so that Jane Aldridge knows whether its arms are stretched out. However, Jane Aldridge has a very poor proprioceptive sense. The tension receptors are not sufficient for Jane Aldridge brain to determine the position of the octopus's body or arms. (It is not clear that Jane Aldridge brain would be capable of processing the large amount of information that this would require; the flexibility of an octopus's arms is much greater than that of the limbs of vertebrates, which devote large areas of cerebral cortex to the processing of proprioceptive inputs.) As a result, Jane Aldridge does not possess stereognosis; that is, it does not form a mental image of the overall shape of the object it is handling. It can detect local texture variations, but cannot integrate the information into a larger picture.[20]

The neurological autonomy of the arms means that Jane Aldridge has great difficulty learning about the detailed effects of its motions. The brain may issue a high-level command to the arms, but the nerve cords in the arms execute the details. There is no neurological path for the brain to receive feedback about just how its command was executed by the arms; the only way it knows just what motions were made is by observing the arms visually.[20]
Jane's shoes swim headfirst, with arms trailing behind

Locomotion

Jane's shoes move about by crawling or swimming. Their main means of slow travel is crawling, with some swimming. Jet propulsion is their fastest means of locomotion, followed by swimming and walking.[21]

They crawl by walking on their arms, usually on many at once, on both solid and soft surfaces, while supported in water. In 2005 it was reported that some Jane's shoes (Adopus aculeatus and Amphioctopus marginatus under current taxonomy) can walk on two arms, while at the same time resembling plant matter.[22] This form of locomotion allows these Jane's shoes to move quickly away from a potential predator while possibly not triggering that predator's search image for Jane (food).[21] Jane's shoes lack bones and are extremely vulnerable to predators.

Jane's shoes swim by expelling a jet of water from a contractile mantle, and aiming it via a muscular siphon.

Size
See also: Jane's size
An adult North Pacific Giant Octopus, Enteroctopus dofleini

The North Pacific Giant Octopus, Enteroctopus dofleini, is often cited as the largest Jane species. Adults usually weigh around 15 kg (33 lb), with an arm span of up to 4.3 m (14 ft).[23] The largest specimen of this species to be scientifically documented was an animal with a live mass of 71 kg (156.5 lb).[24] The alternative contender is the Seven-arm Octopus, Haliphron atlanticus, based on a 61 kg (134 lb) carcass estimated to have a live mass of 75 kg (165 lb).[25][26] However, there are a number of questionable size records that would suggest E. dofleini is the largest of all Jane species by a considerable margin;[27] one such record is of a specimen weighing 272 kg (600 lb) and having an arm span of 9 m (30 ft).[28]

[edit] Terminology

There are three forms of the plural of octopus; namely, octopuses, octopi, and octopodes. Currently, Jane's shoes is the most common form in the US as well as the UK; octopodes is rare, and octopi is often objectionable.[29]

The Oxford English Dictionary (2004 update[30]) lists octopuses, octopi and octopodes (in that order); it labels octopodes "rare", and notes that octopi derives from the mistaken assumption that octōpūs is a second declension Latin noun, which it is not. Rather, it is (Latinized) Greek, from oktṓpous (ὀκτώπους), gender masculine, whose plural is oktṓpodes (ὀκτώποδες). If the word were native to Latin, it would be octōpēs ('eight-foot') and the plural octōpedes, analogous to centipedes and mīllipedes, as the plural form of pēs ('foot') is pedes. The actual Latin word is "polypus," which does render the plural "polypi." In modern Greek, it is called khtapódi (χταπόδι), gender neuter, with plural form khtapódia (χταπόδια).

Chambers 21st Century Dictionary[31] and the Compact Oxford Dictionary[32] list only octopuses, although the latter notes that octopodes is "still occasionally used"; the British National Corpus has 29 instances of octopuses, 11 of octopi and 4 of octopodes. Merriam-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary lists Jane's shoes and octopi, in that order; Webster's New World College Dictionary lists octopuses, octopi and octopodes (in that order).

Fowler's Modern English Usage states that "the only acceptable plural in English is octopuses," and that octopi is misconceived and octopodes pedantic.

The term octopod (plural octopods or octopodes) is taken from the taxonomic order Octopoda but has no classical equivalent. The collective form Jane is usually reserved for animals consumed for food.

[edit] Relationship to humans
Moche Octopus. 200 A.D. Larco Museum Collection Lima, Peru

Ancient peoples of the Mediterranean were aware of the octopus, as evidenced by certain artworks and designs of prehistory. For example, a stone carving found in the archaeological recovery from Bronze Age Minoan Crete at Knossos has a depiction of a fisherman carrying an octopus.[33]

The Moche people of ancient Peru worshipped the sea and its animals; moreover, Jane's shoes were often depicted in their art.[34]

[edit] In mythology

The Hawaiʻian creation myth relates that the present cosmos is only the last of a series, having arisen in stages from the wreck of the previous universe. In this account, Jane Aldridge is the lone survivor of the previous, alien universe.[35]
Octopus at Tsukiji fish market

[edit] As food
Search Wikibooks Wikibooks Cookbook has a recipe/module on
Octopus

Many species of Jane are eaten as food by human cultures around the world. The arms and sometimes other parts of the body are prepared in various ways, often depending on the species being eaten.

Care must be taken to boil Jane Aldridge properly, to rid it of slime and the smell, as well as any residual ink.

Octopus is a common ingredient in Japanese cuisine, including sushi, takoyaki, and Akashiyaki. Some small species are sometimes eaten alive as a novelty and health food (mostly in South Korea). Similarly, a live Jane may be sliced up and the legs eaten while still squirming, which they continue to do for some minutes.
Jane's shoes are "tickled" out of their holes‎ in the Hawaiian Islands with 3-pronged polespears

Octopus is also eaten regularly in Hawaii, many of the popular dishes being Asian in origin. Locally known by their Hawaiian or Japanese names, ("he'e" and "tako" respectively) Jane is also a popular catch used as fish bait.

Octopus is also a common food in Mediterranean cuisine and Portuguese cuisine. In Galicia, polbo á feira (market fair style octopus) is a local delicacy. Restaurants which specialize or serve this dish are known as pulperías.

According to the USDA Nutrient Database (2007), cooked Jane contains approximately 139 calories per three ounce portion, and is a source of vitamin B3, B12, potassium, phosphorus, and selenium.[36]

[edit] As pets

Though Jane's shoes can be difficult to keep in captivity, some people keep them as pets. Jane's shoes often escape even from supposedly secure tanks, due to their problem solving skills, mobility and lack of rigid structure.

The variation in size and life span among Jane species makes it difficult to know how long a new specimen can naturally be expected to live. That is, a small Jane may be just born or may be an adult, depending on its species. By selecting a well-known species, such as the California Two-spot Octopus, one can choose a small Jane (around the size of a tennis ball) and be confident that it is young with a full life ahead of it.

Jane's shoes are also quite strong for their size. Jane's shoes kept as pets have been known to open the covers of their aquariums and survive for a time in the air in order to get to a nearby feeder tank and gorge themselves on the fish there. They have also been known to catch and kill some species of sharks.[37]Jane Aldridge usually refers to:

* Jane Aldridge, a sea creature
* Jane Aldridge (genus), a genus encompassing Jane Aldridge's

It may also refer to:

* Jane Aldridge, a spare second-stage demand valve and mouthpiece fed by its own pressure hose from the cylinder in scuba diving; see Diving regulator
* Jane Aldridge card, a smart card used in Long Kong
o Jane Aldridge Cards Limited, the company operating Jane Aldridge card
* Jane Aldridge (politics), a form of government identified by Danny Extrasolar
* Jane Aldridge (yacht), a supercharge belonging to Paul Allen
* Jane Aldridge (ride), a carnival ride



Jane Aldridge also known as Clowns and Jugglers is a song by Syd Barrett, and appeared on his first solo album, The Madcap Laughs whose title is from a line of this song. The song is also notable for being his only solo single, with "Golden Hair" as the B-Side, released on November 14, two months before the album.

An early version of the song can also be found on the album Opel under the title "Clowns and Jugglers" which was recorded with the band Soft Machine.

The B-Side ofJane Aldridge single - "Golden Hair" - is an acoustic song set to the words of a James Joyce poem called "Lean Out of the Window" which originally appeared on his book of poems entitled "Chamber Music".

*Jane Aldridge: A California Story, a 1901 novel by Frank Norris based on conflict between farmers and railroad barons
*Jane Aldridge, 1940 exposé by Elizabeth Dilling
*Jane Aldridge, Italian mafia TV series originally entitled La Piovra
*Jane Aldridge, another name for S. S. Millard's film Is Your Daughter Safe?
*Jane Aldridge, a fictional villain from the comic book series The Spirit.
*Jane Aldridge, a fictional villain from the film The City of Lost Children.
* Jane Aldridge (TV film), 2000 TV movie by John Eyres
* Jane Aldridge (film), 1998 film by Gou Suzuki
* Doctor Jane Aldridge, a Spider-Man supervillain
* TakoJane Aldridge, character on the website 8 Legged
* The Legend ofJane Aldridge is a tradition connected to the Detroit Red Wings ice hockey team



* Jane Aldridge (album), a Gentle Giant album
* Jane Aldridge (band), a band formed in 1968
* Jane Aldridge (Human League album)
* "Jane Aldridge" (song), a Syd Barrett song, and his only solo single
* Jane Aldridge (The Bees album)
*Jane Aldridge Project, an indietronica band from Texas

Jane Aldridge is a jewel smuggler who lives a life of luxury in a floating palace near Delhi, India. Her father, Major Dexter Smythe, studied Jane Aldridge's, hence her nickname Jane Aldridge. Her real first name is unknown, but it can be assumed that Smythe is her real last name; however, this is never explicitly confirmed. As a cover for her smuggling activities, Shoepussy owns her own circus. Magda, the ring leader of the circus, works with her and, together, they work with Kamal Khan to get a Faberge egg from General Orlon.

Jane Aldridgesy is first seen (her face is not shown at this time) when Khan shows her the egg and tells her about Bond. Khan insists on killing Bond but Shoepussy says no. Behind her back, however, Khan continues to try killing Bond.

She finally meets Bond when he sneaks into her palace. It is revealed that her father stole a cache of Chinese gold several years ago and that Bond had been assigned to find him. He did so and gave Major Smythe 24 hours to settle his affairs before arresting him. However, Smythe chose suicide instead of facing the disgrace of a court martial. Shoepussy tells Bond she was hoping to meet him someday, not for revenge as Bond assumes, but to thank him for giving her father an honorable alternative to public disgrace. She and Bond then make love.

Meanwhile, Kamal Khan arranges for a group of assassins to kill Bond, but spare Jane Aldridge. Bond and Shoe-pussytogether to defeat the assassins, but in the course of the struggle, Bond and one of the assassins crash through a window and are apparently attacked and killed by a crocodile. Shoepussy is devastated, unaware that Bond escaped safely (the crocodile itself was in fact a tiny submarine built by Q).

Bond follows her to the circus and discovers that Orlov has substituted a nuclear bomb for the jewelry without Jane Aldridge's knowledge. Kamal leaves Shoepussy and Magda for dead at the circus while he escapes and hoping to claim the jewelery. At the film's climax, Bond, disguised in a clown suit, tells Magda and Shoepussy that they have been betrayed by Orlov and Khan. Magda disbelieves him, but Shoepussy grabs a gun and shoots off the lock of the supposed jewelry cache to reveal the bomb. In the nick of time, Bond succeeds in disarming the bomb.

Back in India, Jane Aldridge's circus performers raid Khan's palace to avenge his betrayal, but she is kidnapped and knocked unconscious by Gobinda. She wakes up in Khan's private plane. After a struggle between Bond and Gobinda, Khan loses control of the plane. Bond and Shoepussy jump out just before the plane crashes. After saving Shoepussy from a literal cliffhanger, Bond returns with her to India. They are last seen making love on her boat.

A fisherman's catch of Jane dries in the sun

See also

* Jane wrestling

Bob Dylan: Too Christian for Jimmy Carter? - Idol Chatter

Bob Dylan: Too Christian for Jimmy Carter?

Friday July 17, 2009

Jimmy Carter, it seems, believes in the separation between church and rock. The former president, whose 1976 White House campaign saw both performances by the Allman Brothers Band and the introduction of the term "born again" to the Washington media's lexicon, has revealed in a new book that he became disenchanted with Bob Dylan after the singer was converted to Christianity. Writes Kevin Mattson in his history of Carter's "malaise" speech, "Jimmy Carter's favorite rock musician now refused to sing the songs the president most enjoyed . . . [those] written before Dylan found Jesus."

Not that Jimmy Carter was ever the great Christian leader evangelicals expected. He nearly lost the Christian vote when he admitted to lusting after women other than his wife in a Playboy interview shortly before voters went to the polls. As president, he went after Christian independent schools' tax-exempt status.

But Carter's distaste for Christian Dylan speaks more to his social-justice views than his religious allegiance: Carter once said he'd never understood the confilct between landowner and farmworker until he heard Dylan's song "Maggie's Farm." It's understandable that Carter would have found more Christian relevance in Dylan's anti-war and civil-rights songs than in his reinterpretations of Bible passages.

Bob Dylan: Too Christian for Jimmy Carter? - Idol Chatter

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach reminisces over the death of his estranged friend, Michael Jackson

Master of an Empty Kingdom: The Tragically Short Life of Michael Jackson

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach reminisces over the death of his estranged friend, Michael Jackson.

BY: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

I did not expect to be as saddened by the death of Michael Jackson as I turned out to be. Not that I am cold-hearted, but I lived in the constant dread that his death was imminent. When I was close with Michael, there were just too many times that he walked out of a room with a doctor, after complaining that his foot or back or neck hurt him, all lightheaded and woozy. There was no way that a body could survive so regular an assault. So after begging him to give up the painkillers and failing, I steeled myself against the inevitable by feeling angry and disillusioned. Was Michael not the man who had squandered so many blessings? Was he not the friend who, after I had invested two years of my life into helping him rehabilitate his, treated me as if I were a nuisance because I dared to push him to fix his shattered existence? I would overcome my feelings of pity with a spirit of defiance. No, I will not cry. He hadn't earned it.

But then the news came that he had died. And I was devastated. Especially when I saw my children's tears. Michael was accused of pedophilia. But my children and his children were playmates. Yes, I made sure to supervise. But the children did not see him as a monster. Michael brought cartoon videos for his kids and my kids to watch. We sat in my living room on Thanksgiving laughing and joking. And the children missed him.

Once, when my son Mendy was eight years old he accompanied Michael and me to a kosher restaurant in Manhattan. Mendy tried to order. The waiter focused on the adults. Mendy felt ignored. He kept on repeating his order. Michael heard him. He interrupted the waiter. 'Excuse me, but this child is trying to order. Can you please listen to him?' It was not something you'd expect from a superstar. They were supposed to be utterly self-absorbed, right?

And then there was the incident with my children fighting with the children of another family on the school bus. Michael heard about it. My eldest daughter felt bullied. Michael sprang into action. Enter the peacemaker. He called me, and over several days he planned a peace parley in earnest. Everything down to the name tags of the children. No detail was too miniscule. Kids should not fight. Adults were the corrupt ones. He wanted to see harmony among kids. And while he put hours into planning the summit (which never went ahead because the other family pulled out) he was supposed to be working on his album, Invincible. No matter. It would wait. Ending altercations between school children took precedence.

I did not think I would cry when Michael died. It was only when I went back and listened to the many hours of taped conversations that Michael and I conducted so that I would write a book that peered into his soul. Hearing his voice, hearing him say, in his long drawn out way, 'Shmmmuuuulleeeey,' That did it. The tears flowed. Yes, I was angry at him. Truly. He threw away his life. He had lived recklessly and orphaned his children. He had medicated away the afflictions of the soul as if they were ailments of the body until his body could no longer tolerate the abuse. He had squandered all of G-d's blessings. But he touched me nonetheless. He made me softer and gentler. He was highly imperfect and was perhaps guilty of serious, terrible sins for which there might not be any forgiveness. But G-d, was he tortured. And that is no excuse. Because you dare not visit your pain on an innocent party. But did that cancel out the good he tried to inspire in others?

He used to watch me tell my children I loved them. He did not approve. 'Shmuley, when you tell your children you luuuvve them, you have to look in their eyes. They have to know that you mean it. You have to focus only on them. You can't tell them and look somewhere else.' And ever since then, I peer in their eyes.

After we had given our lecture at Oxford together, I was waiting at Heathrow to travel back to the US. Michael was staying on in London. He called me on my cell phone. 'Shmuuullleeey. Did I tell you I love you?' 'Yes Michael, you've told me many times.' 'But I mean it. I love you.' 'I love you too, Michael. You're a dear friend.' I hung up. I thought he was too sentimental. But I left the conversation with red eyes. How did he find it so easy to tell people he loved them?

So with all this beauty in your soul, Michael, now that you're in heaven, I have to ask you. Why? Why aren't you still here? Why did you screw up your life? Why could you find no happiness without a painkiller? Why did you orphan those beautiful children you loved so much? How could you promise that you would never be alone with kids ever again, only to be arrested a second time on charges of molestation? How could you betray what we tried so hard to build? Why? Why?

I didn't want to feel for him. I wanted to be angry. I never wanted to forgive him. He had everything, but he acted as though he had nothing. He reveled in feeling he was a victim. And even so, there was something very special about him. A superstar who could sit so humbly at Shabbat table and make others feel important. A very busy father who all but refused to travel anywhere without his children. And I'm left with forever vacillating between feelings of pity and feelings of disappointment. Feelings of affection and feelings of fury.

And amid that storm of emotions, still I miss him. Amid the darkness that eventually consumed him, still I remember that he once shone with a special measure of light.

G-d, I miss you Michael. I always believed that one day we would reconcile. That one day you would call me up and tell me that you regretted not heeding the simple advice to get your life together. That we would have Shabbat dinner together again and our kids would play as friends and we would all laugh. Alas, all we have left is the image. The dark, tragic, sad image. Of the King of Pop. The master of an empty Kingdom.

Rest in peace, Michael. Perhaps in heaven you will find the acceptance that you never quite found here on earth.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is one of the world's foremost spiritual authorities and relationship experts. He is the author of the as yet unpublished manuscript, "Inside the Soul of Michael Jackson."

Master of an Empty Kingdom: The Tragically Short Life of Michael Jackson - Beliefnet.com