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March 28, 2010

"Follicle to Fundament" It’s time to drink our rations up To lullabies which fill our cup — Jeannie C. Riley “Backside of Dallas” PLUS John Diamond Tribute to Lux Interior



Follicle to Fundament



I’m not James Bond or
Jimmy Beard,
But I know what to drink with weird;
There was a list which I was sent,
From follicle to fundament:
White or red?
Your meal’s still dead;
Just get fed,
And go to bed.


Chardonnay with fish filet?
Chops with Vosne Romanee?
Whether to drink old or young?
(Rampling or Christensen?)


When I drink there is no doubt,
I place my order and make it stout:
Guinness and a Jameson—
What was it that you called me, then?


Cape buffalo, lion, antelope,
I’d even order for the Pope;
ChristBlood singing in a chalice,
Sweet red wine drunk without malice.


In to Bourbon’s slurried well,
Amber pours and secrets tell
Of intermittent deprivations,
And mean slags pouring thin potations.


I know a spot to sup with chums,
With demis, mags and jeroboams;
To start, How about an aperitif?
Kir? Why not? But, make it brief;
And should you want a postprandial,
The green stuff’s good after a while:
Absinthe makes the tart grow fond;
La Fee Verte waves her magic wand;
And if there is no place to go,
We’ll stay inside with Veuve Clicquot;
Coffee, grappa, chocolate cake —
The last request that waiter’s take:


It’s time to drink our rations up
To lullabies which fill our cup.

you ain't no punk, you punk.

you wannaAlign Center talk about the real junk?
Ann cannot comprehend my celebratory mourning as I chicken cluck around the house wearing nothing but black rubber shorts (I’m as fat as Lux was thin, but it is the thought that counts).
I took the news hard, much harder than a man just months away from the big 50 should.
My judo, opiate-infused singing rants grating her nerves like Surfin' Matt Wilson’s uncapped nails on an abandoned blackboard.

Her threats have not stopped my 24-hour serenade of but three tunes sung on heavy rotation, “The Rebel Johnny Yuma,”
Let Your Pussy Do the Dog,” and my totally jump’n rendition of

Jeannie C. Riley
Backside of Dallas

A tenth grade education won't get you 

No kinda job here in big D
hunger pains and prides are things
that just don't go hand in hand for long
And on the back side of Dallas
 A hungry small town girl can't find a home

On the back side of Dallas nervously she takes another pill
On the back side of Dallas tonight like other nights


She drinks her fill


well you can't dig me you can't dig nothin'.


do you want the real thing, or are you just talkin'?

do you understand?
I'm your garbageman.





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