LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWN RELATION TO THE OB/GYN KNOWN AS WARREN DUNLAP ELLIOTT M.D., OR HIS WIFE, CLAIRE V. ELLIOTT (WHOSE MIDDLE NAME ISN'T EVEN "VIRGINIA"): BOTH OF SAVANNAH, GEORGIA.
By the way, Ross Dreiblatt and I co-wrote the Queen classic you hear: We Are the Champions.
Yet another song Ross and I co-wrote is one of the favorites of MY high school sweetheart (now MY OFFICIAL fiance), Chris Caputo and mine: George Michael's "Careless Whisper." Ross and I wrote this in March of 1984 right after I had moved from Princeton to New York City. This is when Ross finally told me about how Chris had been cheating on me with my very best friend in high school, Susan Taylor Shellenbarger. And, YES, Chris had just called ME "Susan" in one of his careless whispers in MY bed during some of the last days that I would ever live in Princeton. The only time I would ever return back to Princeton in order to visit with Chris was in June of 1984.
This became the moment when Chris and I conceived "Blanket" Prince Michael Jackson, II.
Because Ross once threatened to implant Susan with the embryo I had conceived together with Chris just prior to March of 1984, I am sure that, to this day, Susan believes the biological father of her son, Daniel (born in 2002), is Chris. But, no, Susan, I was initially right when I first told you that Ross is the biological father of Daniel. Daniel greatly resembles Ross, the NYC photographer/friend of John Casablancas who went by the name of Bill Harris: the one night stand Susan always said she could have married.
Ross and I naturally conceived Daniel sometime in 1983... probably around the time that Susan and Chris first hooked up in May of 1983.
To be clear, I naturally conceived this baby without my prior consent or knowledge, by way of date-rape drugs... for breeding purposes. Towards the end of 1983, I finally went on the pill without any conscious idea that the pill does not work on me, enabling me to unknowingly procreate with all men I came into sexual contact with.
It is intentional that the girl in our video resembles me in 1983, and, for some reason, it was really important to me back then that Ross get a girl with a turned-up nose (apparently, he did).
By the way, George Michael, who is actually one of Ross's many personas whom I helped to name, also slightly resembles Chris Caputo in 1983.
At the very end, you can hear my muted, misty voice ending the song. Ross used a disguised version of my voice in so many of our co-written songs; in fact, another such song that comes to mind is one that features a speeded up version of my 9-year-old voice: Michael Jackson's "PYT."
Next is the story of how MY high school sweetheart (now MY OFFICIAL fiance), Chris Caputo, has always broken my heart. How amazing that Ross and I co-wrote this song all the way back in 1975. Of course Ross would release "Borderline" in 1984 during the full height of my heartbreak. The Spanish guy Madonna likes in this video also remembles Chris Caputo in 1983:
But it is this next video that is Chris Caputo's most favorite of all time. Always will Chris really dig how I am always "Burning up for [his] love."
Listen carefully for my young, 9-year-old girl voice mixed together with Madonna's, explaining why all Madonna songs sound like a little girl sang them (I did!).
I can't tell you how disappointed I was when Ross finally told me that all MY tracks that we had taken so long to record and perfect in Waterbury, Connecticut in 1975 would be mixed together with Madonna's voice. Then to find out that Madonna would be performing these same precious songs instead of me, nothing could have been more traumatic.
It is important to note that part of the reason Madonna was chosen to "stand-in" for me is due to her slight resemblance to me.
Oh my god, I just noticed that the guy in this video slightly resembles my ex-boyfriend, David Wayne Craig...SOON TO BE CONTINUED...