BETTORS! LESS THAN 2 DAYS! They're Frank Bough!...4-WAY ['Gaesaekki dul jokka...' +' Va t'empaler encule' + 'Ich werde...' + '*Je bent de reden']

BETTORS!

2 DAYS
[less than twenny meters]

PLACE ACTION NOW:

"Excuse me, but could you give me directions to the nearest Starbucks, or should I go 'fuck meself'?"

Sidewalks of New York
[song played during post parade]

Daahhhn in front of casey's,
old brahn wooden stoop,
on a summers evenin',
we formed a merry group,
boys and ocean pearls together,
we would sin' and waltz,
while "ginnie" played' Molly O'Morgan
chuffin sidewalks of new york

Chorus:

East side, west side,
all 'round the Joe Brahn,
the tot sang "rin' a rosie,"
"london bridge is fallin' daahhhn.
" boys and ocean pearls together,
me and mamie o'rourke,
tripped the Isle Of Wight fantastic,
on the sidewalks of new york

Pretty nellie shannon,
wif a dude as Isle Of York,
first picked up the waltz step,
on the sidewalks of new york.
wif jakey krause the baker
who always 'ad the dough
first picked up the waltz step,
on the sidewalks of new york

by Charles B. Lawlor and James W. Blake, 1894

Good Donald Duck!
[LUCK]

PLAY AUDIO FOR RACE IN PROGRESS

"and they're Frank Bough!...
[OFF]..

Ek gee nie 'n moer om nie	1 (11%)
Jeg kneppede din mor igår	2 (22%)
*Je bent de reden dat mensen zelfmoord plegen	3 (33%)
Ich werde dich ausstopfen und auf ebay versteigern	3 (33%)
Va t'empaler encule	3 (33%)
Ne ssi v kompot, tam povor nogi moet	2 (22%)
Jama Shinaide	1 (11%)
Gaesaekki dul jokka ra kuh hae	3 (33%)
Forpulte søppelnerd	2 (22%)
Zozo ou gro tankou yon tik tak	1 (11%)
Cau Dy wyneb a Ffwcio dy ewyrth!	2 (22%)

POLE POSITION ADVANCE
FROM
HALF FURLONG to HOMESTRETCH

- STATS FOR 4-WAY ONLY:

(ONLY ADVANCE)
1. *Je bent: 14 + 19 @ 33

2. Ich werde: 42 - 9 @ 33

3. Va t'empaler: 42 - 9 @ 33

4. Gaesaekki dul jokka: 42 -9 @ 33

Not Bobby 'oo ya loike?
[Not sure who you like?]
Goose's Gregory Peck out:
[Check out]

ME SELF-PUBLISHED
GUIDE TO HORSE RACIN'

"'Ha ter Captain Hook Ponies:
House To Let Eerythin' Except the Whinny"

'ere

[HOW TO BOOK PONIES:
BET EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE WHINNY]

Here

PLUS!

TPA Tips:

Odds, Sods an' 'Olidaymakers!

**PLUS **

EXCERPT

FROM CHAPTER 'BACKSTRETCH':

"'OW I MADE 'OLIDAY ON AN
AMANUENSIS

Named

'S_________t'?????"

HOW IT LOOKED 100 METERS AGO: Looks loike the Liz Hurley lead goes ter me gallant, yeah me gallant garn for the lead wif twice a prince on the outside. secretariat away very 'eaven and 'ell 'as Robin Hood position on the Toby Ale..and in fact is na garn up wif the leaders. they're movin' for the Damien Hirst turn. it is secretariat, sham on the outside is also movin' along strongly and na it's sham, sham and secretariat 're wite together into the Damien Horst turn. me gallant 'as third behind them, then it's twice a prince and the trailer is private smiles as they Scalp Fla by the turn.......those Bo-ole Of Glue together, sham on the outside, sham getter' a Crust of Bread in front as they move 'round the turn wif secretariat second.. then there's a large gap, make it pearly gate lengths Hammer and Tack ter me gallant in third and twice a prince ffourf..and private smiles is Beechams Pill the trailer.....they're on the backstretch. it's almost a Itch And Scratch race na. secretariat's on the inside by a Crust of Bread. sham is on the outside...they've opened Cock and Hen lengths on me gallant 'oo is third by a Crust of Bread wif twice a prince ffourf, then it's anovver pearly gate lengths Hammer and Tack ter private smiles 'oo is trailin' the field. they continue daahhhn the backstretch and that's secretariat na takin' the lead. 'e's got it by abaht a lengf and a Ca and Calf...still sham. Cock and Hen lengths Hammer and Tack me gallant, twice a prince...they're movin' on the turn na. for the turn it's secretariat. 'e looks loike 'e's openin'. the lead is increasin'. make it carpet, carpet and a Ca and Calf. 'e's movin' into the turn. secretariat 'oldin' on ter a large lead. sham is second, and then it's a long way Hammer and Tack ter me gallant and twice a prince. they're on the turn and secretariat is blazin' along.the Damien Hirst three-quarters of a mile in wahn oh vintage wine and four-fifths. secretariat is widenin' na. 'e is movin' loike a tremendous machine!..secretariat by twelve..secretariat by ffour'een lengths on the turn. sham is droppin' Hammer and Tack. it looks loike they'll catch 'im today as me gallant and twice a prince 're bof comin' up ter 'im na. but secretariat is aw Jack Jones. 'e's Wahhabi there almost a sixteenf of a mile away from the George Best of the 'roses...? SORRY THAT'S AS FAR AS WE ARE! pede din mor igår 2 (28%) Je bent de reden dat mensen zelfmoord plegen. 1 (14%) Ich werde dich ausstopfen und auf ebay versteigern 3 (42%) Va t'empaler encule 3 (42%) Ne ssi v kompot, tam povor nogi moet 2 (28%) Jama Shinaide 1 (14%) Gaesaekki dul jokka ra kuh hae 3 (42%) Forpulte søppelnerd 2 (28%) Zozo ou gro tankou yon tik tak 1 (14%) Cau Dy wyneb a Ffwcio dy ewyrth! 2 (28%) 3 owners 'ave been banned for dopin'! Wahn for illegal stud-service! & A Film Called, 'Orseradish Lessons' VOL. Wahn - 7

'there's also a Robin Hood race on wif

Bo-le Of Glue--

new equestrian
comer-from- behind,
not quite ready
ter stud-aht ter elmer's

Daan't count out: 'HORSESTUDDERER'

AND
'DIRTY 'Charin' Cross Whipper'

Sometimes completely mysterious things 'appen.

In 1956 backers of Devon Koch, a Charin' Cross owned by the Nellie Dean father's lover, seemed certain of a win. Jockey Three Card Trick Francis was in the lead and 'ad a mere Nifty yards ter Scalp Fla tier victory. suddenly the Charin' Cross appeared terr jump a phantom fence. Wif its front and rear bacon and eggs splayed, it spectacularly derby flopped on ter the course. The race 'as been misanalysed again and again wif nah wahn able ter pinpoint the exact cause...

aw this proves that there’s nah such fin' as a Bobby fin'.

wif so many unpredictable things capable of 'appenin', it pays ter be cautious wif your bets.

If you’re ever tempted ter stake your Porridge Knife savings on a Charin' Cross, just spare a thought for Murphy.

THOROUGHBRED LISTING
[other free favorite tip runners]

buckshot burro
ball-smoothies
divan deli
exonerated time
Brighton Rocks
Posh n Becks
Tuberculous
Gyps Miss
fresh pose a lavage
Defacement
Ginsu whinny
Cheetahs a and Calf
sharpshooter 'hypo
nestles-a-kinky
sac 'o pak catharsis
pekoe Brando Rois
whitewater
Ho raise suet
lo phat pageboy
Deli rated
One ticktock
HS Sex op
Sedulous
Pissaro Pose
Ravage
Semen
Ginsu whinny
Gaze beta
Half shed Garrote
Hypo-Rainbow
Let-a-win
LIL LA MOSSBACK RIDER
ZSAZSA Zoloft Dr Izzle
riderless Tit butt cock
COPPOLA PLATO
Sac ho
Parka Catharsis
Li'L-jD Jr. Jockey
Pekoe Brando
Rois Whiner
Polo Payee
lo phat pageboy
Blushers
Musicale's
Til Poverty Go outta (BIZ)
Stolichnaya sorbet victim
The Citation
TONY MILLIONAIRE CROW AND PONY SHOW
Threatening Bunuel Lipstick
Btu sis
Lou Din
Nazi Dixie Zip Z

*Text and music by, respectively Charles B. Lawlor1 and James W. Blake, 1894. This highly romantic, nostalgic song describes poor, young Irish immigrants or children of immigrants waltzing together on the sidewalks outside their tenements in New York City in the late 1890s. The story goes2 that Lawlor, a composer and not-very-successful actor, wrote the tune while intoxicated one evening and then was whistling it the following day when he met lyrics-writer Blake who was the counterman at a hat shop. The two joined forces, Blake wrote the sentimental words we know today, and they sold the song for $5000. In 1895, it would be the best-selling sheet music in the country.

Down in front of Casey's,
Old brown wooden stoop,
On a summers evening,
We formed a merry group,
Boys and girls together,
We would sing and waltz,
While the "ginnie" played the organ
On the sidewalks of New York

Chorus:
East side, West side,
All around the town,
The tot sang "Ring a Rosie,"
"London Bridge is falling down."
Boys and girls together,
Me and Mamie O'Rourke,
Tripped the light fantastic,
On the sidewalks of New York

That's where Johnny Casey,
And little Jimmy Crowe,
With Jakey Krause the baker
Who always had the dough,
Pretty Nellie Shannon,
With a dude as light as cork,
First picked up the waltz step,
On the sidewalks of New York.

Things have changed since those times,
Some are up in "G,"
Others they are on the hog
But they all feel just like me,
They would part with all they've got,
Could they just once more walk,
With their best girl and have a twirl,
On the sidewalks of New York.

Notes:
1. Lawton died in 1925; thus his copyright on the lyrics expired in 1995.
2. Hinckley, David. "From 'The Sidewalks of New York': Mamie O'Rourke." The New York Daily News copyright 2002.