IF YOU'RE SO OLD THAT YOU WERE FUCKING A BRAZILLIAN STRIPPER BEFORE YOUR BLACK PRESIDENTIAL OPPONENT WAS BORN, YOU SHOULD CONCEDE! YOU'VE WON!

Brazilian fashion model Maria Gracinda in 1957, and in Saturday's O Globo newspaper

While John McCain attended his 50th Naval Academy reunion Saturday, a Brazilian beauty fondly recalled the affair she had with the young "good kissing" midshipman she met a half a century ago.

"He was tasty, loving and romantic," says Maria Gracinda Teixeira de Jesus, 77, a former beauty queen and dancer, of the young John McCain, whom she met in Rio de Janeiro in 1957.

Date early and often

November 4th, 2008

On this Election Day allow me to say that I WANT YOU! That’s right ladies, I WANT YOU! It’s not too late for you to cast your vote for me by dropping me a line. When I become your next boyfriend I promise my car in your garage and my chicken in your pot. So come to my “poling place” and cast your ballot for me. I promise to keep your ballot completely secret.

My name is R. U. Serious, and no way in hell am I endorsing this guy’s message.

In "Faith of My Fathers," his best-selling book, McCain recalled wild times in Rio where he and his Annapolis shipmates "indulged in the vices sailors are infamous for" and writes of meeting a Brazilian woman he doesn't identify.

"I met and began a romance with a Brazilian fashion model, and gloried in the envy of my friends," wrote McCain. "I spent every free moment with her" for the rest of the eight-day stay in Rio. He had sailed to Brazil aboard the destroyer Hunt.

The former model was tracked down by Brazil's O Globo newspaper and said Saturday, "He was a lovely person and loved to go out with me. I called him 'John' but he was my dear and my coconut dessert.

"He was such a good kisser that I had to purchase a book which taught me how to kiss to keep up with him."

Asked about John in bed, Gracinda says, "Of course we had sex...he was not only good at kissing but good at everything."

McCain was so smitten that, after the cruise, he flew back to Brazil on his own, but writes "our youthful impatience and short attention spans brought an end to our affair." However, he describes the Rio affair as "in my memory, embellished with age of course, among the happier experiences of my life."

Despite 50 years passing, the ex-model also speaks fondly of McCain. "I will never forget him and never imagined he would write a book mentioning me."

If McCain wins the presidency, the Brazilian promises to send him a telegram of congratulations "from his great love in Brazil."