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October 10, 2018

Johnny Paycheck - Colorado Kool-Aid (How the Best Bar Fight Song of All Time was Written) *knife-proof earmuffs


Johnny Paycheck

Johnny Paycheck - Colorado Kool-Aid (How the Best Bar Fight Song of All Time was Written)



"I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas/ Drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans..."

So begins one of the greatest bar-fight songs of all time.

Along with "Pardon Me (I've Got Someone To Kill)," "Colorado Kool-Aid" is one of the high-water marks of Johnny Paycheck at his existential meanest, the consummate tough-guy anthem.


The B-side of Paycheck's massive hit "Take This Job and Shove It," "Kool-Aid" stands alongside "Pardon Me" as some of the grittiest, most realistic output of the entire Outlaw era.
David Allan Coe always presented himself to be the bad boy of the Outlaw movement, but there isn't a song in Coe's catalog that approaches the blunt reality of "Colorado Kool-Aid."
The song is as much Charles Bukowski and Jack Kerouac as it is Hank Williams or the Stanley Bros., who did some of the best bluegrass versions of these meaner types of songs.


With his matter-of-fact delivery, like a regular sitting at his usual spot at the bar, Paycheck sells this one as few artists could.
It is literally almost perfect as a dramatic monologue.


Paycheck's droll delivery never waivers as he delivers lines like,
"Now, big man, if you get urge to spit a little beer/ Just open up your hand and spit it in your own ear."
What really sets the tune apart from the usual macho bar-fight song is that the little unnamed Mexican guy, when pushed far enough by the bar bully, turns out to be the badass.
And you can't but love it when this fellow cuts the bully's ear off, then


"bent over with a half-way grin, picked it up and handed it back to him."

Only the finest Colorado Kool-Aid will satisfy Johnny Paycheck.
Only the finest Colorado Kool-Aid will satisfy Johnny Paycheck
The song stands apart from 99.9 percent of all bar-fight songs for the telling details that leave no doubt about the legitimacy of Paycheck's bar room credentials.


Examples:
Paycheck notes about slicing off the bully's ear that the little Mexican fellow
"cut that thing off even with the sideburn."
That's the kind of detail LOM's English teachers used to tell us to add to our narratives to give them truth and life.
The Best Bar-Fight Song Of All Time: "Colorado Kool-Aid"


And Paycheck's rambling, confidential aside as the music fades is priceless barroom-brawl dialogue:


"I said, barmaid, set us up a round of Colorado Kool-Aid/ And while you're up there, bring this big fellow a box of Band-Aids."
And then Paycheck looks directly at us from his bar stool and lays the lesson on the line:
Now lemme tell you, if you're ever ridin' down in South Texas And decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid And maybe talk to some Mexican And you get the urge to get a little tough Better make sure you've got your knife-proof earmuffs.

Words to live by....
"How you doin', big man/ Still got your ear there in your hand..."
For those of us who lived through the oil boom of the '70s and all the crazy bar stuff that went on here during that era, this is so Houston.

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Colorado Kool-Aid


Lonesome, Onry and Mean had just begun our phone interview with Monte Warden of the Wagoneers when we heard someone talking to Warden in the background.

Warden then asked,

"Are you that guy who wrote the blog about 'Colorado Kool-Aid'?"

We had to admit that we were.

"This is unbelievable," Warden exclaimed. "My wife's father wrote that song. It just made his day when we forwarded that blog to him."

Well, believe us, we thought that was pretty unbelievable too. And we weren't aware that Johnny Paycheck hadn't penned the song himself.

So, Monte, what's the story on that?

"Phil Thomas was a working Nashville songwriter, but he also had worked in promotion for Shiloh when they were hot," Warden explains. "That brought him to Houston some."

So, since Thomas wasn't from Houston and never lived here, just why did he begin the song with

"I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas / drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans"?

"He always told me that he'd seen exactly those kinds of joints around Houston and it just worked," says Warden.

"He didn't have any particular knowledge of Houston, really, that's just the way the song came to him.

And between his lyrics and the way Johnny Paycheck delivered them, everything about that song seemed super-realistic."

Thomas went on to write two other Johnny Paycheck winners, "Billy Bardo" and

"Me and the I.R.S."
Other Thomas cuts include George Strait's "Baby Your Baby" and Gene Watson's "Drinking My Way Back Home."

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lamar sorrento is quittin' art! buy art at lamarsorrento.com


lamar sorrento is quittin' art! 


 
bob dylan mississippi






read the following short story by lamar sorrento (and realize that i could not edit it any farther than i tried)

Raccoon
by Lamar Sorrento

i had helped a neighbor dispose of a giant dead raccoon, and I had put it in an old Amazon box that I had, and I placed it on the curb. 

i went in the house and called the city’s Dead Animal Pickup, but I found out they quit picking up dead animals at 1 PM everyday.

jesus, I thought, this thing is gonna stink to high heaven by tomorrow in this terrible heat.

i decided to haul the box over to the church across the street later and dump it in their garbage dumpster, which I knew would be emptied that night by the bi-weekly garbage truck, no one the wiser.

Feeling good about myself.


‘Gee…i’m glad I found the racoon a way out of here…out of the neighborhood...to lie in peace somewhere--a garbage dump is peaceful, I guess?'


But then later that night i was thinking,


"gee, I hope that raccoon doesn’t smell so bad that the truck driver stops the truck to see where all the stink is coming from.  his normal load is papers and lunch room trash, not dead bodies. I know he picks up garbage for a living but this raccoon outstinked anything that I had ever smelled…ever…it’s a dead body! not cantaloupe…dead animals are the king of all stink!"


The truck driver’s name is Bruno….well, he stops the truck on Peabody near Cleveland, pulls over to the curb, angrily gets out and straining his huge nasty torso, he climbs up the side of the garbage-laden dump truck. And he wades down among the trash…


there are some stenches for sure!


but he is used to most of the smells, but this new smell is monstrous, one of the worst ever.


gad, he takes out a flashlight…and his keen nostrils soon lead him to the offending box…eureka!  god almighty, the stink!


‘oh I see…exclaimed Bruno… some dork put a dead giant raccoon in this box and stuck me with it….haha very funny…..i almost fainted from the stink..!!..let’s see here…..hmmmm…name on the box says …..Sorrento on York ave…well, well…we’ll pay mr. sorrento a quick visit’…’too bad the street number got covered up in some ketchup and I cant read the whole thing..!!!!'


he drooled an evil nasty grin, showing off his greenish teeth glaring like rotten pieces of onion and , clutching the evil box , smell and all, he climbed out of the truck and got into the cab and drove off in a silent rage… ‘let’s head down York Ave and see if this Sorrento is around’…he mused. Meanwhile, My mind said to my brain……’Jesus….the box…!!....was my name on the box?…and address…?..oh no,…I forgot to check.!!..if that raccoon smells too ungodly strong then the driver might freak out and find the box then easily locate me and beat me with that dead stinking raccoon which will be quite stiff by then due to rigor mortis……god…..quick…..turn out all the lights……move the cars across the street……make the house look deserted…turn off all the lights…all of them,,,,,don’t make any sounds…..turn off the tv…turn off the oven ,as well… Breathless, i am just getting back from moving the cars out of sight across the street when a large nasty sanitation dump truck pulls right up to where I am standing…a gorilla type man leans out the window… ‘say brother……would you know a guy named Sorrento on this street…’..it was Bruno.. My heart jumped into my throat and it hid in a closet…..i couldn’t breath…. After what seems an eternity….i stammer out…..’uh….no I don’t think so.,..i don’t think…no I don’t know him……..’..i’m pretty sure’ Bruno glares at me…..’pretty sure huh’’’??!! I begin walking backwards and stumbling….i cry out……”uh,,,,,,ah ,,,,oh yea…him…..now I remember,,,,yes, he died….he’s dead…pretty sure, yea….died ..yea’’’ ‘what are you doing out here alone in this dark….memphis aint so safe…something could happen to a guy , you know’..said Bruno..in a suddenly friendly but fake tone.. ‘Well..i was just…. walking…you know……’….i said ‘, all the while imaging myself being soundly beaten like a baby mule with a giant stinking raccoon….. ‘you live around here?’ Bruno said, sounding more angry now… ‘me….?...no….i live …over on…….Harbert…….’ ‘harbert……lotta rich assholes over there….you rich,…..?....got any pets…?…you ..any yo neighbors got any pet animals…?...like, you know, wild animals..” ‘animals…?...ahh no…naw I don’t think so….one my neighbors ….got a goldfish pond’ ‘goldfish…!...them tings attract raccoons , I know that…’..Bruno’s eyes lit up..with dark undershadows.

‘You seen any raccoons around here…’?

 ‘ ‘nope..cant say I have’…….what color…?’ Bruno stared at me silently for quite a while…..i kept backing up trying not to fall over backwards. ‘well you have a good night , sir ‘ Bruno said with a sideways sloppy grin. ‘ I guess i will have to search elsewhere, because I WILL find this guy …’ My throat closed up tighter…I was dying from no air.. I watched him pull off and I felt better…..i relaxed some….then,,… Then..about 8 houses down the street, I saw his brake lights come on…they looked like the eyes of a radioactive monster….….he stopped…! He was right in front of the mystery house…the one on my street that no one exactly knows who lives there. They have a 6 ft iron fence with sharp spikes on top and a gate with razor wire on top…….several extremely mean dogs….a rebel flag….and various and sundry 4runners and Jeeps and off-road type trucks….with big lights on them..and skulls and stuff stuck on them… I watched in horror as Bruno stepped down from the cab…he had a box under his right arm….the box…!!..he had my Amazon box!!!..…….i used all the eye peering pressure i could muster……as he turned, ….God …..I could see there was a label on the box…. god that was the raccoon box… My horror grew exponentially as Bruno walked to the fence and non-chalantly heaved the box over into the yard…in the yard…!!!!!!...into the yard from hell….a dead raccoon in a box with my name and address on it……this is going to get way worse very fast…I felt as if my spine was flagpole. Bruno was driving off…..i tried to grab my breath…..what do I do..?..if those dogs get that dead raccoon out of that box ..the box with my name and address on it….i am dead…..really dead….these guys could be meth head terrorist assassins……or just normal mean rednecks,..i smelled doom and it smelled worse than the raccoon ever did.. I felt a cold sweat envelope my body like an frozen Tommy Copper body suit..which I guess, handily, I could be buried in also,…..then suddenly I sprinted, not walked down to the mystery house and stood there…..breathing hard like a monkey with asthma.. standing in front of the fence, I could see that no dogs were out but I sensed movements within the house…..it was now or never…like nowsville…I had to retrieve the box before anyone in that house found it…no matter what… No matter what……no matter what… The next morning the doctor at the emergency room asked me if I had been in a sword fight the night before.. I said….’yea….but I won.’

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October 9, 2018

All Roads Lead Back To Red: A Pedal Steel Mixtape - round, playful, thick, smiley, and stoned


All Roads Lead Back To Red: A Pedal Steel Mixtape

red

This mix picks up where All Roads Lead To Red: A Pedal Steel Mixtape / Tribute left off, delving deeper into the seismography of the Velvet Hammer, Orville “O.J” “Red” Rhodes.

While perhaps best known as Michael Nesmith’s musical foil on the former Monkee’s 1970s country rock masterpieces, Red also played steel on countless LA sessions in the 1960s and 70s.



In addition to leaving his unmissable mark on such hits as James Taylor’s “Sweet Baby James” and The Carpenters’ “Top Of The World,” Red also played on album cuts by artists including The Beach Boys, The Byrds, Gene Vincent, and Nancy Sinatra.

The tones that emanated from Red’s steel sounded a lot like Red looked: they were round, playful, thick, smiley, and stoned.

His inventive licks and restrained fills  wove within the fabric of the LA scene a thread that bound diverse artists and distinct genres together into something resembling a coherent sound

m dawson

MP3:
All Roads Lead Back To Red (A Pedal Steel Mixtape / Tribute Vol 2)


  • Introduction (Michael Nesmith and Red Rhodes, The Amazing Zigzag Concert, 1974)
    Buffy Saint-Marie, “Sweet January” (Sweet America, 1976)
    Bert Jansch, “Stone Monkey” (LA Turnaround, 1974)
    Carole King, “Goodbye Don’t Mean I’m Gone” (Rhymes And Reasons, 1972)
    Gene Vincent, “Rainbow at Midnight” (I’m Back And I’m Proud, 1970)
    Bobby Jameson, “The Weight” (Working, 1969)
    Nancy Sinatra, “Here We Go Again” (Nancy, 1969)
    Garland Frady, “Teach Your Children” (Pure Country, 1973)
    Red Rhodes, “Crippled Lion” (Velvet Hammer In A Cowboy Band, 1973)
    Rod Taylor, “Lost Iron Man” (Rod Taylor, 1973)
    Steven Fromholz, “Late Night Neon Shadows” (A Rumor In My Own Time, 1976)
    Possum, “Ain’t Enough Of Me To Go Around” (Possum, 1971)
    Dominic Traiano, “The Wear And Tear On My Mind” (Dominic Traiano, 1972)
    Hoyt Axton, “Jambalaya” (Country Anthem, 1971)
    Doug Kershaw, “I’ve Got Mine” (Spanish Moss, 1970)
    The Byrds, “Wasn’t Born To Follow” (The Notorious Byrd Brothers, 1968)
    Danny Cox, “Just Like A Woman” (Birth Announcement, 1969)
    The Beach Boys, “Hold On Dear Brother” (Carl and the Passions – “So Tough”, 1972)
    John Phillips, “April Anne” (John The Wolfking Of LA, 1970)
    Delaney Bramlett, “A Little Bit Of You In Me” (Mobius Strip, 1973)
    Red Rhodes, “Rene” (Steel Guitar Favorites, 1967)
Previously: All Roads Lead To Red: A Pedal Steel Mixtape / Tribute
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Halloween, Hidden Halloween horror straddles October (if Asia Argento likes this, you know it's sick)




Halloween, Hidden Halloween

Halloween horror movies all month long. Halloween horror movies year after ton of horror movies around Halloween. Halloween straddles October


Halloween, hidden Halloween horror


Dark Night of the Scarecrow

This made for TV movie originally aired on CBS on October 24, 1981, making it a true seasonal horror movie. Directed by the author of Audrey Rose, Frank De Felitta, Dark Night of the Scarecrow tells of Bubba (Larry Drake), a sweet but mentally challenged man who is best friends with young Marylee. When Marylee is attacked by a dog, a group of townspeople already appalled by Bubba’s friendship with the girl instead blame and slaughter Bubba. It’s not until the deed is done that they learn Marylee survived her attack, and the truth behind it. The judge lets the four vigilantes off the hook for their crime. Not long after, a mysterious scarecrow begins stalking Bubba’s killers, one-by-one, enacting vicious vengeance. It’s all set during the Halloween season, with only a small scene in a school Halloween party and a finale set in a pumpkin patch indicating that this Halloween fare. Nothing says Fall like a scarecrow, right?
The Changeling

Ghost stories are always a perfect pairing with Halloween, and The Changeling is among the best. George C. Scott stars as John Russell, a man who moves into a secluded, historic mansion in Seattle following the tragic deaths of his wife and daughter. Naturally, strange phenomena begin to occur shortly after John moves in, and John soon discovers the original tenants had some major skeletons in their closet. It’s spooky, quiet, and keeps you guessing until the end. The Changeling is set over The Halloween season, but it’s such a minor detail of John’s isolated, haunted story.
Lady in White
Lady in White
A perfect choice for the burgeoning, young horror fan, Lady in White is a 1960s set ghost story that kicks off on Halloween. Young nine-year-old Frankie (Lukas Haas) is locked in the school’s cloakroom on Halloween by bullies, forced to spend the night alone as a result. He witnesses a young ghost reenacting her murder and pleading for help. When he too is attacked by the mystery assailant that murdered her, it kick starts a murder mystery that plummets the town in turmoil and reveals spooky ghosts that are more than they appear to be. A layered story with social weight, this story has a little bit of everything for both young and old alike.
May

Lucky McKee’s directorial debut stars Angela Bettis in the titled role. May is a lonely young woman desperate to connect with people, and that desperation builds into horrifying levels as the story progresses.  Bettis is captivating in this role; May is someone you both root for and are wary of as she loses her grip on reality. Halloween figures pretty prominently into the story, too. There are smaller details, like May’s attempt to forge friendships with candy, but the finale takes place during Halloween night and May really gets into the spirit.
Hell Night

Halloween isn’t explicitly mentioned in this slasher meets haunted house horror movie, but it doesn’t really need to. Four college pledges start their night at a huge costume party but are then forced to spend their night in a deserted spooky mansion in a hazing ritual. What could go wrong? The mansion isn’t as abandoned as they think. Hell Night stars Linda Blair as lead protagonist Marti Gaines, and it’s not exactly her best work. But the set pieces are fun, and the slasher aspect delivers something different from the norm. This is also the film where Chuck Russell (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors) began his long-running collaboration with Frank Darabont.
House II: The Second Story

For those in the mood for festive, silly fun, this sequel should do the trick. Skipping any continuity from the first film, this sequel takes a kitchen sink approach with its spooky house. Jesse (Arye Gross) inherits his family’s old mansion and discovers that the rooms act as various portals to different places across time and space, and a certain Aztec crystal skull is the key. Dinosaurs, cavemen, wild west gunslingers, an unleaded grandpa, and a cute caterpillar puppy round out this wacky horror comedy. The best part? It takes place over Halloween, with a Halloween party factoring into one big chase scene.
Neon Maniacs

This ‘80s monsters fest features a group of homicidal monsters that live under the Golden Gate Bridge by day but come out at night to slaughter. When a teen escapes their clutches, they spend the rest of the film hunting her down and killing anyone in their path. Each monster has a personality and costume of his own, from samurai to mad doctor, which makes their final battle set during the high school Halloween dance a perfect cover. Creatures, silliness, and an ‘80s synth score are a perfect complement to the holiday backdrop, and a great Halloween party viewing entry.
Deadly Friend

Wes Craven’s sci-fee horror movie, about a teen and his robotic friend, really kicks into gear on Halloween. When Paul loses his robotic bud BB, he’s devastated. When he loses his would-be girlfriend Samantha (Kristy Swanson), he decides to rectify both losses by merging the two. Of course, tampering with technology leads to deadly consequences. Aside from the holiday factoring into the plot in a major way, Deadly Friend is worth a watch for the infamous basketball scene alone.
Slugs

This gooey, gooey gory creature feature about toxic waste spawned slugs is from the mind of Pieces’ Juan Piquer Simon. These killer slugs are downright gruesome in their kills, making for some really fun surprises. This small town has no clue what’s happening, and only health worker Mike Brady is on the case. The kills are much more isolated and spread apart at first, but they really ramp up their attack on Halloween, when everyone is out and about in costume. Making this a perfect seasonal watch.
Sinister

Michael Myers may be the reigning Halloween boogeyman champion, but “Mr. Boogie” Bughuul makes for a creepy runner up. When true crime writer Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke) moves into a new home with a murderous past unbeknownst to his family, he finds a box of Super 8mm footage labeled “home movies” that’s really a series of horrific murders of previous families captured on camera.  The discovery of the footage seems to coincide with his son behaving rather strangely. Sinister is spooky and atmospheric on in its own, but Ellison’s children getting excited to celebrate Halloween is a small, subtle reminder that this is a great seasonal selection for October.
V/H/S

A horror anthology is the cinematic equivalent to trick or treating- some segments are treats and others feel like a mean trick. This anthology, in particular, is especially Halloween appropriate. Connected by a wraparound that sees a group of misfits hired to break in and steal a rare VHS tape, this found footage style horror movie offers five separate segments in addition to the framing narrative. The final segment is titled “10/31/98,” and takes place on, you guessed it, Halloween. Directed by Radio Silence, this segment has a group of friends head out to a Halloween party, in costume, only to wind up at the wrong house. They think the haunted activity is all part of the Halloween festivities and realize too late the error of their ways.
Ginger Snaps

Let’s face it; Halloween needs more werewolves. Luckily this modern classic delivers. Ginger Fitzgerald has more than puberty to contend with when she’s bitten by a werewolf, and her slow transformation brings about changes both physical and in personality. It’s up to her younger sister Brigitte to stop it, if she can. This fall set horror movie kicks off its third act on Halloween, with the holiday serving as a perfect cover for Ginger’s full transformation. Everyone else thinks it’s a cool costume, but for Ginger it’s a new way of life.
Livid

Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo’s follow up to brutal horror film Inside is inexplicably still without stateside release. It is, however, easy to find on DVD as long as you have a multi-region player. Lucie is an at-home nurse, and the last stop on her roster is a remote mansion inhabited by bedridden recluse Mrs. Jessel. Mrs. Jessel is rumored to have a treasure hidden away somewhere on property, so Lucie and her friends sneak in on Halloween night to steal it. What they find instead is a night full of unexpected terror, and Maury and Bustillo deliver a fun entry in fantasy horror. Look for fun homages to Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
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