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August 12, 2009

Clair Elisabeth Fields Cruise: TOP 50 OR SO 'CEFC' CRAZIEST HITS (* denotes @mrjyn personal favorites)



MJ 'Wife' Claire De Loon: "Leonardo DiCaprio, Will You Marry Me?!"


I'LL LET CLAIRE SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES:

Claire Cruise, 41, is in dire need of a leading gentleman, especially considering the fact that Claire will not have to be elected to become the next president of the United States. Claire and Leo secretly dated on and off for 8 months between 1998 and 1999. Recorded in Atlanta, Georgia on July 3rd, 2007: the exact, same day that Claire got married in 1985, Tom Cruise's 45th birthday as well as the day of Mentor and Disciple in Nichiren Buddhism.

MY ORIGINAL POST FROM MONDAY:

I spent the better part of a rainy afternoon combing, Her Holiness's MySpace Press Conference you see here--all neatly collected in the same nut - http://tinyurl.com/lqskwu .
http://www.visualguidanceltd.blogspot...
follow @mrjyn Twitter HERE:
http://twitter.com/mrjyn
Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise, INTRODUCE Your SELF
http://bit.ly/1ytHWu
  1. To correct Chris's erroneous parents, Chris went out with me when we were both 17, NOT 16. And our bond has continued to survive.
  2. THERE IS NO RESTRAINING ORDER and this is why both Bruce Williamson and Chris Caputo, MY EMPLOYEES, have no comment about this to the media.
  3. I was the one who picked Chris Caputo to be my CEO, however.
  4. Bruce Williamson never knew my Grandmother (they met only once) & this is precisely why she picked him to manage MY money in my ABSENCE.
  5. Chris's mom should know that Chris has the most severe form of erectile dysfunction & chemicals in MY body are only thing that corrects it.
  6. Before that, the last time that Chris had seen me was when he visited me in Santa Monica in 1997 to rape me by way of date-rape drugs.
  7. The last time I saw Chris Caputo in person was when we crossed paths at a Hollywood coffee house in the fall of 2007.
  8. Ross Dreiblatt gave me date-rape drugs so Julian could have sex with me. I couldn't remember anything, thought I was going out with Chris.
  9. I'll have everyone know that it was Julian Bleecker who thought he had a relationship with me in high school when he raped me again & again.
  10. This is why all these people try so hard to label me: Bruce, my next of kin, is trying to hold on to MY money & Gail Caputo fears exposure.
  11. As for Bruce Williamson, he is the idiot who has tried to stop me from getting MY vast inheritance. Grandma would literally kill him.
  12. Mrs. Gail Caputo was always so jealous of the control I had over her son, Chris, because she was sexually abusing Chris and his 2 siblings.
  13. Chris's parents do not have any idea that Chris and I have always remained in touch.
  14. I can't believe how fat I look on TV!
  15. Sorry Michael... I deserve so much better.
  16. Michael Joseph Jackson, I officially "approved" my official engagement to Chris just before killing himself on June 25, 2009.
  17. My official engagement to Christopher Joseph Caputo of Fortress Group, Inc./Fortress Investment is officially CANCELLED.
  18. JUDGE BECKLOFF: I'd so much appreciate it if you could once again delay this hearing until Monday, September 7, 2009. I WILL BE THERE!!!!!!
  19. JUDGE BECKLOFF: I'm sorry, but I can't make the probate hearing on Monday, August 3, 2009. NO MONEY until my SSI comes in on that very day!
  20. ATTENTION: JUDGE BECKLOFF Your rude assistnt always tells me that I can't communicate with you unless I figure out which document to file.
Claire Cruise (ClaireCruise) on Twitter

RT @mrjyn - http://bit.ly/cmeQV - AND FOLLOW NICHOPOULOUZO'(*since this story is getting so much play, I thought I'd clean up the Clair Elisabeth Fields Cruise bullet-list which I attempted to compile and order Monday, and add some headers and star some of my CRAZIEST HITS...And, since I am a blogger, and not being paid to report this, I started in the middle and then became overwhelmed by the end--which is to say, the lack of stars in the beginning, does not denote any demotion of General Cruise--in fact, 'IF' by any chance, she served in World War II, it is my guess that she was very well-decorated.)

mrjyn

Don't forget to embed my NICHOPOULOUZO YOUTUBE 'CEFC' PRESS CONFERENCE VIDEO via TMZ, IF LINKING TO THIS LIST.


(MySpace: A Place For Friends)

(HEADLINE)

Claire Cruise Is America waiting, waiting, waiting...

Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Female 43 years old South Miami, Florida Claire Cruise Is America's Details Status: Engaged Here for: Friends Orientation: Straight Hometown: Princeton, NJ Body type: 5' 5" Ethnicity: White / Caucasian Religion: Buddhist Zodiac Sign: Libra Smoke / Drink: No / Yes Children: Proud parent Education: Some college Occupation: World Peace Leader Income: Less than $30,000 June 12, 1994 - present Fortress Investment New York, New York US

(HER INTRO, NOT MINE)

"Introducing PRESIDENT CLAIRE Elisabeth CRUISE, otherwise known as: Queen Claire Elisabeth, Pope Claire Elisabeth I, High Priestess Claire Daishonin, Her Holiness The Dalai Lama, The Prophet, The Messiah, Christ, God(dess), Allah, Savior and Leader of the Free World."


(JACKO COMMITTED SUICIDE OUT OF JEALOUSY)

WHEN MY LEGAL HUSBAND, MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON WAS INFORMED THAT CHRISTOPHER JOSEPH CAPUTO AND I HAD SUCCESSFULLY BECOME OFFICIALLY ENGAGED, MICHAEL TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.

"I am the biological mother of Prince Michael Jackson II and all of his siblings."

Before I matured into a woman who could naturally conceive, however, scientists were combining my DNA together with other DNA to create babies in the laboratory.

They've been doing this since the time I was just an embryo and they continue to do this to this very day.

For example, the actor, Brad Pitt, was created by combining the DNA from the dead body of Jimmy Dean (Brad in his past life!) together with the DNA from the embryo that was me.

My biological daughter, Brooke Shields, was also brought into existence in this same manner, although I doubt her biological father was any kind of dead body.

I am the biological mother of all of Michael Jackson's children: Prince, Paris and Blanket. could no longer afford to fax paperwork, I was forced to send this Petition by Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation.

Judge Beckloff has delayed the guardianship hearing.

Tito must be cueing me to contact your organization.

Michael Jackson told his entire family all about me; for decades already have they been eagerly awaiting the time when "PYT" would reveal herself to the world.

I am also still LEGALLY married to Michael Jackson.

I also am engaged to Blanket's biological father: my high school sweetheart, Christopher Joseph Caputo

The biological father of Prince and Paris is my former winemaker boyfriend, Cyril Rouhaut of the south west of France.

Michael Jackson and my fiance, Italian Chris Caputo, have a common ancestor.

However, Connor Cruise is Michael's biological son, whom I personally conceived.

Michael knew this when he allowed Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman to adopt him some years ago.

I had not yet realized, remembered, or received confirmation that Cyril's and my last embryo was swapped for one of Chris's and mine.

Debbie Rowe is a surrogate mother. I have never been paid for what my body naturally created (nor did I ever so selflessly donate my eggs to science).

I am the organizer for Princeton High School Class reunion.
I will not let my classmates down.

Okay, world: Susan Taylor Shellenbarger began fucking MY Chris Caputo on the side in May, right after Bruce dumped her before School prom.

The biological father of both Prince Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr. and Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson is Cyril Rouhaut of France.

The biological father of Blanket Michael Jackson, II is MY OFFICIAL fiance, Christopher Joseph Caputo of New York, NY.

I am the sole biological mother of all three Jackson children.

Because I am what is known as a savant, the details that fill my meticulous memory banks are staggering.

But unlike most other savants, i.e., Rainman, I do not have any disability whatsoever.

The genius brain I would have been born with had my mother not habitually drank hard liquor and allowed Stanford doctors to routinely inject her with heroin during pregnancy would not be nearly as advanced as my savant brain is.

Due to all the adversities I had to contend with inside AND OUTSIDE my mother's womb, my genius brain over-developed in its desperate effort to compensate for what damage was done to it.

Technically, a savant brain is injured, but in all the areas of my brain that aren't as over-developed, I have always routinely fallen within the normal range.

What this means is that my brain is far more advanced than it would have been had I been born to a healthy, drug and alcohol-free mother.

My brain does things I don't even understand.

Debbie Rowe has absolutely no idea that I exist.

I suppose, as a society, we are still quite naive when it comes to embryonic technologies.


The whole point of surrogacy is that the person is merely a vessel

How could we be so gullible as a society to believe that a woman who was hired and paid vast amounts of money by Michael Jackson to give birth to his children was ALSO the biological mother of these same children?

Because we give birth--we women harbor quite a lot of control when it comes to the children in our society.

To minimize the control that mere birth gives to a woman in a surrogate situation, it would be vitally important to make sure that she is NOT also the biological mother.

My naturally conceived embryos belong to only me.

I did not voluntarily donate my eggs or profit in any way from what my body naturally created.

I suppose the fact that Michael actually married Debbie Rowe had a lot to do with why we as a society assumed she was not just a surrogate mother.

So many married women in our society are technically surrogate mothers without ever knowing it.

My own sterile mother is an example of this.

The truth is that most women in our society are sterile.

This has been carefully planned so that MY embryos could be properly distributed.

Unlike my biological sons, all my biological daughters are completely sterile.

In the laboratory, however, it is possible for scientists to combine a sterile woman's DNA together with a man's to create a test-tube baby.

I can't help but think that Debbie Rowe had to have been told that it was an embryo, NOT SPERM, that doctors were "injecting" into her uterus.

He would not have ever allowed Debbie to think that those babies were hers.



But now that Michael is dead, perhaps Debbie thinks that she has it in the bag.

Why would Michael Jackson pick Debbie Rowe to be the biological mother of his children?

What is so special about Debbie Rowe that Michael wanted to breed her?!

Debbie Rowe was just someone in the right place at the right time, desperately offering her body up to Michael Jackson.

Michael killed himself Today.

I want the family to understand that Michael was suffering a great deal.

He had reached the point where he was done being Michael Jackson.

In the days leading up to his death, Michael was so happy to be performing again.

Nothing makes him happier than being upon a stage.

Michael was finding it far more difficult than he had ever imagined.

With just weeks to go till his worldwide tour, Michael was just not in the kind of shape he was accustomed to being in.

And, being the obsessive perfectionist that he has always been, Michael didn't want to do it anymore.

Michael was made well aware of my homelessness and it was stressed to him what an incredible mother I would be if only someone would give me a chance to mother my many naturally conceived and other biological children I have all around the world.

After confirming that I would be the best parent to his children, Michael deliberately overdosed on sleeping medications in his desperate effort to finally sleep.

*Remember, I was Michael when I was just a girl.



I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MICHAEL JACKSON.

(MySpace Profile) Current mood: impatient. (MySpace Headline) Time's up, Jackson Family!

My legal documents indicate that I have requested mediation to work out a parenting plan.

(Katherine Jackson's Visitation Schedule)
*I think that Mrs Jackson should have the right to visit the children as follows: only in a supervised setting to ensure the children's safety from respondent's husband, Joseph Jackson.

I was abused as a child.

(Future Inheritance)

Until I receive the vast inheritance left to only me by my maternal grandmother, I survive on a very minimal Florida Social Security Income which so easily qualified me for a waiver of all court fees & costs.

I shall be receiving my inheritance very shortly.

I will NOT be requesting any kind of child support from the Michael Jackson Family Trust.

(French Winemaker Father of ALL THREE children, Cyril Rouhaut)

And, for everyone's information, the biological father of all three of Michael Jackson's children is my former boyfriend, Cyril Rouhaut of the Southwest of France.

Cyril is a winemaker whose family lives on and manages one of my family estates.

Cyril and I attempted to have a baby together.

(Immaculate Conception)

It was during this time that I naturally conceived Prince, Paris and Blanket, as well as two other children whom I had already located--all embryos were safely removed from my uterus less than one month after conception to immediately be frozen and later implanted in the uterus of a surrogate mother.

Of course the public has yet to be informed of the advanced embryonic technologies that make something like this possible.

(Unveiling Paris, Prince and Blanket)

Although I knew that I was the biological mother of all three of Michael Jackson's children, I hadn't yet remembered who the biological father of these same children was until I could better view Prince, Paris and Blanket without the obstruction of their veils.

It is due to all the trauma I went through as a child as well as an adult that I am still in the process of remembering some very key details of my life.

(Titanic Revelation)

Leo DiCaprio and I have a mutual, dear friend who brought Michael to my house in Princeton, NJ to surprise me on my birthday.

Although I gave Michael my personal tour of the town of Princeton and really did like him quite a lot, our marriage was strictly business.

It was before Thriller, and Michael had just completed his first round of plastic surgery.

Thus, I didn't actually understand that the **************dancing African-American musician named Michael Joseph Jackson I married that evening was, indeed, the famous Michael Jackson whom everyone knew and loved.

(Rabbi Wedding Photos of Kissing)

Ross Dreiblatt, also a rabbi, not only married us, he also took our wedding photos, one of which features Michael and I kissing (... if not mistaken).

The entire legal ceremony was also video-taped.

(Paul McCartney's Worst Nightmare)

When Michael then asked my permission to purchase the Beatles catalog, I casually replied, "sure!" without any conscious understanding of my business connection to this catalog.

As I cannot afford to send anymore faxes until next month, the sheriff will be prevented from serving Mrs Jackson until late August.

I also cannot afford to send away for Michael's and my marriage license until next month, but please do feel free to send away for it, yourself.

(MySpace Mood Update)

Current mood: pissed off.
(Pretty Darn Shocking Revelation To Come)

I am waiting on the family of Michael Jackson to personally respond to me before I announce yet another bizarre detail of my life that's pretty darn shocking.

(Reason Michael Jackson Killed Self)

WHEN MY LEGAL HUSBAND, MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON WAS INFORMED THAT CHRISTOPHER JOSEPH CAPUTO AND I HAD SUCCESSFULLY BECOME OFFICIALLY ENGAGED, MICHAEL TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.

(Marriage To Tom Cruise Decree)

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT MY (NON-LEGAL) ENGAGEMENT TO HUSBAND, THOMAS CRUISE MAPOTHER WAS OFFICIALLY "APPROVED" BY MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON I I.

AFTER OUR WEDDING, TOM TOOK MY SUGGESTION AND DROPPED HIS ABUSIVE FATHER'S LAST NAME TO BECOME, JUST THOMAS CRUISE.

IT WAS MY PROMISE TO TOM THAT I WOULD ONE DAY DO THE VERY SAME THING.

(Changing Her Name And Keeping Her Promise to Cruise)

I FINALLY FULFILLED MY PROMISE WHEN I FILED FOR MY LEGAL NAME CHANGE AFTER TOM'S WEDDING TO KATIE HOLMES IN DECEMBER OF .




MICHAEL TOLD ME THAT I MADE HIM THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE...

(Songwriting CV)

ESPECIALLY AFTER I APPROVED HIS PURCHASE OF MY BEATLES CATALOG AND ALLOWED HIM TO CONTINUE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR ALL MY SONGS THAT HE WOULD RECORD AND/OR PERFORM.

(Wedding Night Thriller Jacket Outfit)
*****************ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT MICHAEL EVEN WORE HIS FAMOUS TRADEMARK RED LEATHER JACKET THAT HE HAD DEBUTED TO THE WORLD IN OUR VIDEO, THRILLER.

YES, I LEGALLY CHANGED MY NAME TO CLAIRE ELISABETH JACKSON WHEN SIGNING OUR MARRIAGE DOCUMENTS.

(Realization of Nuptials At Supermarket Checkout Line)

I CAN REMEMBER MY SHOCK WHEN NOTICING THAT THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER ACTUALLY PUBLISHED THESE SAME WEDDING PHOTOS WITH MY FACE BLURRED AND FADED OUT.

WHEN I SAW THEM ON THE NEWSSTAND, I BECAME SO VERY CONFUSED, I JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT AND INSTANTLY BLOCKED OUT ALL MEMORIES OF THE EVENT.

MY GREATEST FEAR WAS THAT CHRIS CAPUTO WOULD SEE THESE WEDDING PHOTOS.

AT THE TIME OF OUR WEDDING CEREMONY, I JUST DID NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I HAD MARRIED THE FAMOUS MICHAEL JACKSON EVERYONE KNOWS AND LOVES.

I DO NOT KNOW WHY THAT IS.

ON THE EVE OF RON'S AND NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON'S BRUTAL MURDER, I WORE A PALE GREEN, FLOWERED DRESS.


(???)

BECAUSE NEITHER RON NOR MYSELF ACTUALLY KNEW THAT ROSS WAS A RABBI, WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW THIS WEDDING WAS FOR REAL AND LEGAL. THIS WAS DONE TO COMPLETE A "TRANSACTION" SO THAT I COULD RECEIVE MY INHERITANCE. THE NEXT MORNING, NOT REALIZING WE WERE ALREADY MARRIED, I FINALLY AGREED TO MARRY RON, AND WAS FORCED TO BREAK UP WITH MY ABSENTEE BOYFRIEND BY VOICEMAIL IN ORDER TO BECOME "ENGAGED" TO RON (OR SO WE THOUGHT).

(No Relation to The OB/GYN...)

*************LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWN RELATION TO THE OB/GYN KNOWN AS WARREN DUNLAP ELLIOTT, OR HIS WIFE, CLAIRE .

(SWEAR TO GOD: DID NOT MAKE THIS NEXT ONE UP [OH, GOD, I'VE STARTED USING ALL-CAPS])

******************I co-wrote the Queen classic you hear: We Are the Champions.
(Roofies)

To be clear, I naturally conceived this baby without my prior consent or knowledge, by way of date-rape drugs... for breeding purposes.

(WHAM!)

**************George Michael, who is actually one of Ross's many personas, whom I helped to name, also slightly resembles Chris Caputo.

Who is the worlds sexiest leader ? Sunglasses, flexed muscles and no t-shirt - Vladimir Putin on holiday OR Nicolas Sarkozy OR Barack Obama - World leaders on holiday - Who is the hottest of them all? Bild.de

Vladimir Putin, Nicolas Sarkozy, Barack Obama... Who is the world's sexiest leader?

Vladimir Putin on holiday
World leaders on holiday
Who is the hottest of them all?
Sunglasses, flexed muscles and no t-shirt - Vladimir Putin on holiday...

After Vladimir Putin showed off his bare-chested figure to the world’s press on holiday, other world leaders are trying to give him a run for the title of world’s sexiest leader!

Related news
Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy at G8 summit: Oh lĂ  lĂ  - US President snapped checking out delegate's bum!

Russia’s Prime Minister, Nicolas Sarkozy and Barack Obama have three things in common - they are all powerful, all slim and all in good shape - but who is the hottest of them all?

Putin rides across the Siberian prairie. He fishes, chops wood and builds a camp fire – 100 per cent macho man.

Sarkozy is the opposite. He is grooming his figure as the French gentleman. He helps his wife Carla Bruni over slippery rocks on the French Riviera.

Obama meanwhile impressed onlookers last year when he ploughed through the Pacific waves in Hawaii. Pictures showed him being tossed around like a seal by the surf at the island of Oahu.

He still has no trace of a belly, but he is younger than his European competitors.

Click through the gallery to make up your mind on who the sexiest world leader really is…

Vladimir Putin Nicolas Sarkozy Barack Obama - Who is the worlds sexiest leader - News - Bild.de

Barack WHO IS WORLD'S SEXIEST LEADER...O-BUM-a? Nicolas Sarkozy? US President checks out delegate Mayora Tavares' bum - News - Bild.de

Barack Obama Nicolas Sarkozy G8 summit: US President checks out delegate Mayora Tavares' bum

Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy at G8 summit Oh lĂ  lĂ  - US President snapped checking out delegate's bum!

07.08.2009 - 17:58 UHR

He may be the world’s most powerful man but even Barack Obama is not immune to the charms of a nice bottom!

Fotogalerie VergrĂ¶ĂŸern
Silvio Berlusconi
G8 Summit in Italy
World leaders gather in L'Aquila for conference
Foto: dpa
1 von 8
Related news
Vladimir Putin, Nicolas Sarkozy, Barack Obama - Who is the world's sexiest leader?

At the G8 summit in Italy, he was snapped apparently checking out the perfect curves of a young lady.

And French President Nicolas Sarkozy (54) was looking on in amusement… Oh lĂ  lĂ , Monsieur le PrĂ©sident!

So who was the lady in red who caught the eye of Obama - or should that be O-BUM-a?

Her name is Mayora Tavares, she is 16 and she comes from Brazil.

Mayora was at the G8 summit in Italy as part of the J8 – a group of 53 people aged between 14 and 17 who have been meeting in Rome since the start of the week. The group were there to discuss how the lives of young people around the world can be improved.

After they presented their results and ideas on Thursday to their senior counterparts, the delegates had a group photo with them when Obama (47) was snapped.

But now Mayora has found herself at the centre of 'O-bum-a-gate', the 'did he or didn't he' question that is causing controversy around the world.

Video evidence has thrown doubt on the fact that Barack Obama was checking her out. But it now doesn't look good for President Sarkozy...

Barack Obama Nicolas Sarkozy G8 summit: US President checks out delegate Mayora Tavares' bum - News - Bild.de

Tits of Death (Razor Pasties)

RT @mrjyn - http://bit.ly/D62vT - AND FOLLOW @mrjyn http://twitter.com/mrjyn OR http://twitter.com/nichopoulouzo @nichopoulouzo FOR MORE LIKE...Tits of Death (Twirling Breast Razor Assassin)

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KIM JONG IL vs Nicolas Sarkozy
http://bit.ly/lKGDk

August 11, 2009

Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Gives Possibly the Best Press Conference Ever - The Hollywood Gossip (ALL MY LOONEY BIN RESEARCH PAID OFF)

Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Gives Possibly the Best Press Conference Ever

Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise, the lovable nut job who claims to be the mother of Michael Jackson's children (and Connor Cruise), needs a psychiatrist ASAP.

Seriously, if you know this woman, go to her. She needs you.

But her depraved lunacy doesn't stop the press conference she gave yesterday from being oh-so-entertaining. After filing for guardianship of Blanket, Paris and Prince, Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise enlightened us with the following revelations:

  • Michael "has always known" he is the father of Connor Cruise, but was happy to give him up to Tom and Nicole Kidman for adoption because he did not like the color of his skin (nothing like making up stories and being racist).
  • Michael Jackson, Jr., a.k.a. Prince Michael I, and the oldest of the three children, was fathered by Cyril Raul, who "lives in France."
  • Paris Jackson's father is a man named Julian Bleacker, Claire's "unofficial college sweetheart." Sorry, Mark Lester. Tough break.
  • As for how the children were conceived, the nut job said "there is technology that is in existence" to remove the conceived children from her body and insert them into the bodies of the surrogates who gave birth to them.

Check out all this and more in the crazy video below ...


Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Press Conference

In case you're wondering how this wacko was granted a public forum, before Michael Jackson's will can be entered into probate and its instructions carried out, the law provides people excluded from the will the opportunity to object in court.

The court doesn't have to do anything about it, but they can (and will) be heard. Thus, we get to meet wannabe baby mamas like Cruise and Billie Jean Jackson.

Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Gives Possibly the Best Press Conference Ever - The Hollywood Gossip

Saucy postcards expected to raise thousands at auction - mirror.co.uk

Saucy postcards expected to raise thousands at auction

Saucy Paintings (Pic: SWNS)

They had their knockers…but the bottom never fell out of the market. 
These saucy seaside postcard designs are being sold at auction today and are expected to arouse firm interest.

Saucy Paintings (Pic: SWNS)

Measuring just over 10in by 7in, the risquĂ© 1960s pictures were the work of Phil Millar, who used the pen name Pedro. 

They were among a set of 25 originals amazingly chucked away in Calne, Wilts, in 1989 but found by skip firm boss Des Hudd. Des, 69, of Hatherleigh, Devon, said: “I’m a bit of a magpie and thought they might be worth a few bob so kept them in my loft. 

Saucy Paintings (Pic: SWNS)

“I was always a fan of the naughty postcards and was overjoyed when I stumbled across this pristine collection.”

Colin Such of auctioneers Warwick and Warwick said: “They show how suggestive the humour was in the 60s.”

They are set to fetch up to £50 each at the sale in Warwick. We’re just surprised it’s not being held in Feltham or Oldham...

Saucy Paintings (Pic: SWNS)
Saucy postcards expected to raise thousands at auction - mirror.co.uk

Michael Jackson exclusive: Blanket Jackson's surrogate mother is a Mexican nurse named Helena - mirror.co.uk

Michael Jackson exclusive: Blanket Jackson's surrogate mother is a Mexican nurse named Helena

Blanket (pic: Getty)

The surrogate mother of Michael Jackson’s seven-year-old son Blanket is a Mexican nurse named Helena.

As several people come forward to claim parenthood over the King of Pop’s three children, the Mirror has discovered the truth behind the birth of his youngest.

Despite rumours about who fathered the boy, we can reveal Jackson is his biological dad.

Blanket, real name Prince Michael Jackson II, was born on February 21, 2002 at the Sharp Grossmont Hospital in La Mesa, near San Diego in Southern California.

Now it can be revealed his mother was a pretty latino nurse who Jackson personally selected. Jacko paid Helena a $20,000 surrogacy fee to have his child and lavished her with gifts, generous expenses and staff to see to her needs.

Her identity has been a secret since Blanket was born. On his birth certificate Michael Joseph Jackson is identified as the father but the line for “Name of Mother” is left blank.  

The child was conceived through IVF. Jacko donated his sperm for the procedure.

An unknown woman, also chosen for her gene pool, was the egg donor – effectively making her Blanket’s biological mother.

The woman was paid a mere $3,500 for her contribution and signed legal papers handing over all rights to the child. Her identity is an even bigger secret within the Jackson family.

It is unlikely she was even told that her eggs were involved in Blanket’s birth.

A close friend of Jackson’s told the Mirror: “Michael wanted a designer baby. He had two wonderful children but wanted one more and was quite specific on the gene pool he wanted to tap into.” Jackson approached IVF specialist Dr Lila Schmidt at the beginning of 2001 when Prince was three and Paris was two.

It has been claimed that Debbie Rowe, the mother of the two eldest children, had medical complications following Paris’s birth which forced Jacko to look elsewhere for a mother.

Helena was one of a string of women presented to the star as possible surrogates. He reviewed several profiles which included photos, full background checks and family history.

Jacko decided on Helena, who lived on the outskirts of San Diego at the time, and after meeting her was convinced she was perfect.

The friend told the Mirror: “He chose Helena because she had a latino background but she was also a US citizen and had quite fair skin. 

 “He liked her because she was very attractive and seemed stable and intelligent. She was a nurse or medical assistant, which he also liked. 

“She was around 5ft 4ins, slim, aged around 30 and had long, dark, straight hair. He said she was strait-laced, almost a girl next door type. 

“There were no dramas with her. She knew what she had to do and got on with it.” 

Despite Jacko’s careful selection over the surrogate mum, little of her genetic attributes will have been passed on to Blanket. Dr Schmidt, who is bound by confidentiality rules but can talk in general terms, said: “The surrogate is the carrier of the baby. The biological mom is the egg donor. 

“The surrogate has no connection to the child. It’s not their kid. On the birth certificate you can say whoever you want. That’s why you hire anattorney.  The birth certificate can say Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse but there might not be any genetic relationship to the child.” 

While Jacko was keen for Helena to be well looked after, the friend said “He kept his distance. She didn’t have a chaperone or any kind of handler watching her every move or anything like that.” 

The friend added that Helena agreed to the surrogacy because she needed the money to send back to her family in Mexico. 

“She was a lovely person and told Michael the money would help her family out,” said the friend. 

“Michael rang her a few times during the pregnancy to make sure everything was OK. 

“He had a picture of Helena which he showed to close friends. But he never discussed whether he’d ever tell Blanket about his mom.” 

Dr Maria Castillo is the medic who delivered Blanket and is named on the birth certificate. 

She recalled the delivery at Grossmont hospital was a success but says Jackson was not present. 

Dr Castillo said: “There was an attorney at the birth. He took the baby away immediately after delivery. I didn’t know who the baby belonged to when I delivered the child. 

“I was later told by a nurse at Grossmont that the woman had named the baby Prince Michael Jackson, and I said wow, I guess they like their rock stars. Maybe she likes Prince and Michael Jackson or something. 

“It never occurred to me it was Michael Jackson’s baby.” 

Dr Schmidt added: “Michael Jackson wasn’t at the delivery but in order to get that kid out of the hospital there has to be a court order in place.” 

It is believed the attorney then whisked the baby up to the star’s Neverland ranch. 

The friend said: “Michael was thrilled. He was so excited and said Blanket was a good-looking kid. He had nurses and a nanny at the ranch to make sure the baby was cared for properly. 

“But he was also a hands-on dad and didn’t mind changing diapers himself.” 

TV producer Gary Pudney recalls that just days later, Jackson proudly introduced him to Blanket. 

Pudney said: “Michael told me, ‘I have something to show you, Gary.’ 

“And he went in the back of the trailer into the little bedroom and brought out this little blanket that had something in it. And it was the baby.” 

He added that Jackson never told him who Blanket’s mother was and he never asked. 

Blanket was introduced to the world aged 11 months in Germany – immediately at the centre of a media storm after his superstar father dangled him perilously over a balcony rail at a hotel. 

Over the years Jackson couldn’t keep his story straight about Helena’s identity.  

He told Martin Bashir in the controversial 2003 documentary Living with Michael Jackson: “We have an agreement that we can’t talk about. 

We have a contractual agreement, who she is and everything, that’s how we worked that out.” 

Bashir asked if it was someone Jackson had had a relationship and the singer replied: “Yes.” 

But in the same documentary Jackson completely contradicted himself, saying. “I used a surrogate mom, my own sperm cells. She doesn’t know me, I don’t know her.” 

With his older brother and sister, Blanket, at least for now, is in the custody of Jackson’s mother Katherine, just as his father wanted. 

Even if Blanket’s surrogate mother or the egg donor were to come forward, legal experts say they would almost certainly have no claim to him.

Michael Jackson exclusive: Blanket Jackson's surrogate mother is a Mexican nurse named Helena - mirror.co.uk

Billie Jean Jackson: Give Me Blanket! - The Hollywood Gossip

Billie Jean Jackson: Give Me Blanket!

The paternity lotto brings out all the certified nut jobs.

First, it was Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise, who claimed she gave birth to all of Michael Jackson's children - as well as Connor Cruise, Tom's son, who she insists Jackson actually fathered - and filed for legal guardianship of Paris, Prince and Blanket.

We don't suspect the court will go for it. Just a hunch.

Now, it's Michael Jackson's longtime stalker / baby mama, Billie Jean Jackson, who's desperate to be a part of Blanket's life. It's her fake son, after all!

We can only hope Pia Bhatti also shows up to lay claim to Blanket, whose mother has never been revealed, although enough people sure claim to be.

B.J. filed legal papers at the hearing for Jackson's estate yesterday, begging the court to give her three days a week with Michael's youngest child.

Billie Jean Jackson Picture

This was the best picture of alleged Michael baby mama Billie Jean Jackson we could find. It's pretty appropriate that it's a mug shot, though, don't you think?

In her filing, Billie Jean Jackson asked the court to:

  1. Not let her be arrested by Katherine Jackson or John Branca, Michael's mother and one of the executors of his estate, respectively
  2. Hire a handwriting expert to check Michael's will for forgeries
  3. Grant her visitation with Blanket Fridays-Sundays at 2 p.m.

She punctuated her legal filing with this gem: "MICHAEL JACKSON IS GOD, and GOD cannot die, yet his ESTATE is in this probate court."

Psychiatrists in Los Angeles County had better get ready to work OT.

In other Jackson paternity news, the alleged father of Paris Jackson, Mark Lester, is now denying quotes to that effect from ... himself, obviously.

Billie Jean Jackson: Give Me Blanket! - The Hollywood Gossip

Retarded* Elvis (i know you fuckers can't write a comment to save your life so give me a call if you like this)

504 2241282SORRY! RT @mrjyn - http://bit.ly/mjgSv - i can't help falling in love with you AND FOLLOW @mrjyn http://twitter.com/mrjyn OR @nichopoulouzo FOR MORE LIKE...RETARDED ELVIS. I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing. I can barely type.

VISIT MY BLOGVISUALGUIDANCELTD.BLOGSPOT.COM HERE: http://bit.ly/1kNs2z


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*SPECIAL #ELVIS-WEEK SELECTIONS HERE:

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#MICHAELJACKSON FANS CHECK OUT THE HUGE SELECTION:

Michael Jackson 'Wife' Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise Is Waiting...
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Hypno-Scientology Techniques Revealed
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URI GELLER: MY FRIEND MICHAEL JACKSON
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Michael Jackson Propofol
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Michael Jackson Coroner Office Autopsy Tour
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Michael Jackson Spermicidal Geller 'Oliver' Donor Twist
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Ex Bubbles Jackson Pens Bio
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*MENTALLY CHALLENGED (was too long)
no way am i ever going to say who this is. so if it gets out, IT WAS NOT ME!

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CULT: 817 North Charles Street Baltimore, Maryland 21201

Sophia’s Dance Recital – Rehearsal

Tales From the Darkside The Movie Trailer 1990 Stephen King

The Fashion Show: Paying Homage To Fashion Icons | Reality TV Magazine
Reco is out to show Anna what’s up, however, he’s designing a corset and according to her, Halston never did corsets. When Isaac and Kelly come to visit, they immediately tell Reco that Halston was the most modern designer in the world. …

Game Show Kingdom: "The Fashion Show" 6/25
Reco: Halston Guest Judge: Peter Som (a celebrity fashion designer) The audience’s top three are Johnny Rodriguez, Anna McCraney & Daniella Kallmeyer. The winner is… …Johnny! Reco Chapple & Haven Howell are in this week’s bottom two …

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The Halston peep toe boots are gorgeous, but you can also find them for a reasonable price at Topshop or on stardoll in the last LE collection and in the most recent beach themed releases, but sadly only if you’re a superstar.
Halston | Videos, Blogs and Tweets

My Famous Michael Jackson Memorial story which shows I have a heart...guaranteed to make you cry if you do too


http://visualguidanceltd.blogspot.com/2009/07/and-heres-translated-version-of-my.html
thanks for the mention. it inspired me to do some more: also could you pass along these couple of jams to whomever's in charge of the mp3 dept.
http://visualguidanceltd.blogspot.com/2009/07/most-fucked-up-mp3-ever-bbc-teaching.html

oh, and this is pretty funny: http://visualguidanceltd.blogspot.com/2009/07/joe-jackson-private-midnight-memorial.html

and finally, here's my little MJ story which shows I have a heart: 

IV gone back in the old unpublished draft archive and dug out some skeletons. As I mentioned earlier, I like to think I haven't gone crazy, but that I continue a long tradition of the same. So for the 5 people who regularly peruse this blog and used to frequent The Perfect American (now an overstocked library), I offer some posts that never quite made it past the cutting room...I'll also be compiling all of my Michael Jackson YouTube Videos, which have somehow found a mainstream audience, including CNN, and myriad foreign blogs and tabloid rags, which I never knew existed until the YouTube Anal-attics button under each of my videos told me so.
BETween the CNN/Anderson Cooper Monkey story, which I apparently researched for them after I found and riposted the sweetest little Moonwalking Bubbles clip, quaintly titled with neither the words 'Bubbles' 'Moonwalk' or 'Jackson', from a Japanese YouTuber, who has now included all three of these words into his new title and who is currently looking at around 90,000 views, and my 'Jackson Ghost' video, which distinguishes itself from the other hundred Jackson Ghost videos currently on YouTube, by being first and having a spotlit, halo detail of the ghost for easy viewing...and so much more, I've been busy trying to tune in, interpret, and redirect the powerful Jacko vortex swirling in the web. Also, thanks to IFC, who started me on my current ascendancy to one million views (should be any day now), with their embedding of the first video I ever posted, the "Night of the Iguana" Trailer, which started out two weeks ago at an emaciated three-digit viewership to become one of my biggest producers, with around 20k. And if that weren't enough, Beware of the Blog repainted a little tossed-off Michael Jackson EBay poem (and I know that because there were actually people on this blog that weren't from Seoul or searching for Pussy*).

My Jacksonian State of mind stems from the fact that when I was 13-years-old, my idol (besides Jerry Lee) died, and even without the Internet, it was a weird fucking month afterward. In fact I can remember (and am getting right now the same feeling although a little less intense), which I recall from Grocery Store, Tabloid, Checkout, Point of Purchase Stands and the massing of cheap paperbacks, not to mention what substituted for TMZ back in the day--Giraldo and shows like 20/20 (possibly the worst News Magazine TV show ever).
You see, ELVIS PRESLEY WAS MY FIRST CONCERT IN 1977 WHEN I WAS THIRTEEN(and remember that, because apparently it will make you cry at the end of this paragraph, say two people). And so every time (but not until now did I fully realize how much) a celebrity dies, I get a little whiff of that 1977 air, blue eye shadow, punk rock, really good porn, Trans-Am's, bad music on the radio, Catholic Girls in Uniform, and 7-11 Slurpee Cuba Libra's. So thanks MJ for the memories. And truth be told, I was all immune to your shit, 'till on a far corner of the Web one night at around 5AM, I found myself on a Romanian Video Site called Trilulu, which I belong to, and there I found a video posted by a thirteen-year-old Romanian girl...it was of you, and I don't even remember what song it was now, because the thing that made me cry was the fact that the title was decorated with hearts and stars.
m.

here's the comment poem dedicated to you and the two people who commented on my other:
Posted by: mrjyn | July 08, 2009 at 05:09 PM

Videos: youtube.com/nichopoulouzo @mrjyn http://www.visualguidanceltd.blogspot.com - via http://technorati.com/videos/tag/nichopoulouzo

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Oxymoron List — The Little Big List of Funny Oxymoron Examples

a | b | c | d| e | f | g | h | i | j| k | l | m | n | o
p | q | r | s| t | u | v | w | x | y | z

A Fine Mess
A just war
A little big
a little pregnant
A new classic
absolutely unsure
abundant poverty
academic fraternity
Academic sorority
Accidentally on Purpose
accurate estimate
accurate horoscope
accurate rumors
accurate stereotype
acrophobic mountain climber
Act Naturally
active retirement
actual reenactment
acute apathy
acute dullness
adult children
Adult male
advanced BASIC
advanced beginner
Affirmative action
affordable housing
aging yuppie
agree to disagree
Airline Food
airline schedules
all alone
All natural artificial flavor
alltogether separate
alone in a crowd
almost candid
Almost done
almost exactly
almost pregnant
Almost Ready
almost safe
almost suddenly
almost surprised
almost totally
alone together
amateur expert
American culture
American education
American English
amicable divorce
among the first
Amtrak schedule
Anarchy Rules!
anonymous colleague
anticipated serendipity
anticipating the unanticipated
Anti-Missile Missile
anxious patient
apathetic interest
apathetically urged
Apple tech support
approximate solution
approximately equal
arms limitation
army intelligence
arrogant humility
Artificial Grass
artificial intelligence
assistant supervisor
astronomically small
athletic scholarship
Aunt Jemima Light
Auto Pilot
authentic replica
authentic reproduction
authoritarian anarchy
awfully good
awfully nice
Awfully pretty
baby giant
baby grand (piano)
bad health
bad luck
Bad Sport
balanced insanity
balding hair
Ball Club
baggy tights
Band Jocks
bankrupt millionaire
barely dressed
Barenaked Ladies
(the rock group)
bass guitar
battle ready
Beaucractic efficiencies
benevolent despot
benign neglect
Benign Tumor
better than new
beyond infinity
big baby
big detail
big sip
big town
bigger half
bingeing on moderation
bipartisan cooperation
bird dog
birth control
Bitter Sweet
Black Gold
(slang for crude oil)
black light
Black Russian
blameless culprit
bland spice
blind eye
blind viewer
blue rose
Blurry vision
boneless ribs
books on tape
border control
boring court jester
boring entertainment
born dead
boxing ring
boyish grandpa
Oxymoron List — The Little Big List of Funny Oxymoron Examples