5 Reasons To Never Join Twitter. - Tremendous News!

5 Reasons To Never Join Twitter.

Posted by Tremendous in Featured Articles, Life., Nerdynessdom, Opinion., Technology., Twitter. on 08 18th, 2009 | 52 Comments

How many guys before getting here liked butterflies? How many guys like them now? Call me the butterfly evangelist.

Let’s pilot through my e-mail.

Stop boring us with Twitter articles.

Your Twitter posts aren’t edgy.

Why don’t you just call yourself Twittermendous News?

Whore-face.

And there they are.

My fans.

But this time, they have a point.

Here at Tremendous News, I’ve been crafting a lot of Twitter-related posts.  It’s been turning off a segment of my core audience that couldn’t care less about Twitter.

And this article right here?

This one’s for them.

Even though I’m on Twitter doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes find it a nauseatingly bad experience.

There’s things I don’t like.

So if you’re sick of all the media attention on Twitter. Sick of people telling you to join it.

Read this.

Five Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Join Twitter.

1. It Could Be A Passing Fad.

Imagine it’s 2013 and everyone is on a new service called Plip.  Instead of 140 characters, it’s just one.

One word.

We all just send each other one word.

Mine would be “vulvaface”.

But then people will look back at those who were so hardcore into Twitter and laugh.

They would point at them and say Ha! Remember when you were on Twitter and screaming about how great it was?  Then Plip was invented and everyone plopped instead of tweeted!  Boy you look dumb.

And you would.  Because you’d still be tweeting.  Tweeting to nobody.

Ha!

You were such a vulvaface.

2. You Have To Learn How To Condense.

Look at this article.

Look above.

Look below.

It’s all texty and gross right?  I mean I crow barred in a couple random pictures that I could find on the Internet to engage you, but it’s really just me writing.  Talking.  Yenta-ing.

Basically, I’m an electrical yenta.

But on Twitter, I have to condense this scintillating charm and super hotness into 140 characters.

It almost never works.

When I condense, I carve away my pleasantness, and leave just the raw douche concentrate.

Trust me.

You will too.

3. It Goes Down Like Every Thirty Seconds.

I swear.  Just when you’re like hey, I wonder what Dave Coulier from Full House is doing. As soon as I get to his page?

Boom. Twitter dies.

And then you have to spend the entire afternoon not knowing what Dave Coulier from Full House is doing.

And really?

That’s not a life I want to live.

I craved the gentle, disarming charm of Joey Gladstone. Instead, I got this.

4. The “Celebrities” That Aren’t Even Really Celebrities.

I saw a DJ from Toronto get on Twitter.  He had 4 followers.  Then he tweeted

where u at peoples!  it’s go time! go go go!

He did that every day.

Over and over.

And then a few days later, I swear this is true, he tweeted this.

glad i can connect with my fans.  gonna try 2 tweet more so u know what im up 2.

2 people unfollowed him.

Half of his fans.

Gone.

But in his mind, he’s a celebrity.

Now think about him and multiply by infinity plus one.

That’s Twitter.

8 has 3 factors that divide into it. 2, 4, and itself. Also, it is the square root of 64. In the domain of real. Where n is not irrational. OK now you can look at the bum.

5. You Have To Deal With Intense, In-Your-Face Disgusting Vanity.

If I could explain Twitter in one sentence it would be this:

Millions of people yelling over millions of other people waiting for some type of validation.

That’s it.  It really is.

I was told it was about connecting.

Bull.

I was told it was about creating relationships.

Shit.

It’s an electronic pissing contest.

Take the Twitter yodas.

These people have only been on Twitter a year before you arrived.  Yet, they have 900 billion people following them.

They’ve used super-nerdy programs to create that massive following.  It’s just thousands of spam acc–

Wait.

You wouldn’t understand that.  You’re not on Twitter.

Let’s de-nerdify.

These people cheat the system into making it look like they have friends.  Kind of like that geeky dude in high school that would tell us that he spent the weekend with friends from the other high school down the road.  Yet we all know he just spent it alone, crying in his room while listening to Ace of Base.

Fine.

That kid was me.

And I’m actually fine with these people, because hey, they gamed the system and have thousands of followers.  The only problem is, they try to preach to you.

If you don’t engage, you’re doing it wrong.

Share, create relationships.

Give to Twitter to be truly rewarded.

After reading this, don’t you feel like you’d rather cry in your room while listening to Ace Of Base?

Thank you.

———

There you have it.  If you’re not on Twitter you don’t need to be.

In fact, if you don’t believe me, just read the comments below. It will be full of Twitter yodas or people who take Twitter too seriously.

They’ll be angered.

Enjoy.

And I’ll see you on Plip.

You vulva face.

5 Reasons To Never Join Twitter. - Tremendous News!

MICHAEL JACKSON SIGNED Lithograph THE BOOK Sepia *RARE* - eBay (item 170375494873 end time Sep-03-09 11:36:46 PDT)

MICHAEL JACKSON SIGNED Lithograph THE BOOK Sepia Monochrome VERY RARE The last copy we had sold for $24,000. The price has been reduced as a special offer only. Signed Michael Jackson Sepia Monochrome Lithograph "The Book" By Artist Brett Livingstone Strong. This is an Extremely Rare Limited Edition 50 ever made! The Portrait is Signed by both Michael Jackson and by artist Brett Livingstone Strong, who was Michael's personal portrait artist. The title "The Book" is also handwritten by Brett. The piece is in EXCELLENT near perfect condition, and the dimensions of the print are roughly 25.5 W x 35 H (Inches). It has never been framed, but can be at the buyer's request/expense. The original painting sold in 1990 for 2.1 Million Dollars, making it the most money ever paid to a living artist for a portrait. The sepia monochrome studio proof lithographs are the first of the sepia monochrome prints, making them by far the most rare and valuable of its family. Authenticity is 100% guaranteed with a signed Certificate of Authenticity by both Brett and Michael. This piece was acquired personally from the artist. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the ultimate Michael Jackson fan and/or fine art collector. The pictures of this piece do not do enough justice. You will not be disappointed. Buyer assumes responsibility for shipping. Facts about the artist:    Brett-Livingstone Strong is an Australian born artist (b. 1954) best known for his philanthropic spirit and eccentric nature. He is an architect, sculptor and painter and has been called a modern day Michelangelo because of his work in both mediums (sculpting and painting). In 1972, he was commissioned to paint the royal invitation for the opening of the Sydney Opera House by Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom. In 1977, he carved John Wayne’s face in a 116-ton rock that fell onto Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. It sold in 1979 for US$1.1 million to an Arizona company, and currently resides in the libra ry of Lubbock Christian University in Lubbock, Texas. Strong created a life size bronze statue of John Lennon, entitled Imagine. He began work on the sculpture as a tribute to Lennon six months before the celebrated musician’s untimely death in 1980. Originally unveiled in New York City by Andy Warhol, it currently is in the possession of a private collector. Strong painted portrait of Michael Jackson entitled The Book which sold for $2.1 million to a Japanese businessman in 1990, making it the most money every paid20to a living artist for the sale of a portrait. This rare piece was the only portrait that Michael Jackson sat for an artist's rendering and made its first appearance since 1992 on Thursday July 2, 2009. It was displayed for public viewing in Harlem NY near the Apollo Theatre to honor Michael Jackson. In the 1980's, Strong also completed work on the very impressive U.S. Presidentcy Monument and :The National Monument to the U.S. Constitution both commissioned by former Chief Justice Warren Burger. The monument was to have been dedicated by President George W. Bush and placed on the grounds of the White House. Currently these two monuments are part of an unprecedented nationwide educational program entitled "The Spirit of Freedom Tour" scheduled to launch in the fall of 2010 and tour 70 cities nationwide designed to heighten America's students about the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights. For more information on the Spirit of Freedom Tour see www.spiritoffreedomtour.org Strong created NASA’s National Space Exploration Monument for display in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC. On July 16, 1994, Vice President Al Gore announced this monument honoring the men and women of the United States Space Program and celebrating the anniversary of man’s landing on the moon. In the late 1990s Strong proposed the City of Angels Monument project designed to create a symbol for Los Angeles along the lines of New York’s Statue of Liberty or Paris’ Eiffel Tower. The $4 billion development was to cover 122 acres (0.49 km2) in downtown Los Angeles with the central focus being a 750-foot (230 m) tower as the base for a 350-foot (110 m) female angel, wings spread, holding a sword of light above her head. Some people criticized the angel as being a symbol of violence, but the artist’s intention was for her to be a symbol of light cutting through the darkness. The project was to have honored the arts and entertainment industry in Los Angeles. Strong had backers who secured loans for some of the land, but didn’t obtain enough donors for the project. Ultimately, an eminent domain action filed by the Los Angeles Unified School District brought an end to the project. In 2000 Strong leveraged his largest and most valuable Fine Art collection appraised by the Bank of NY at $112,000,000 in order to finance the seed capital for his "City of Angels" Monument. The collection included many originals, Limited Edition prints and two notable sculptures exhibited in galleries and museums called "Formation of Life" and "Visions of Heaven on Earth" each appraised at approximately $4,000,000 each. In 2005 the Bank of NY sold their $36,000,000 security note to GMAC. In 2007 GMAC sold the collection to Liquid Brick, Inc (www.liquidbrick.com) a private investment co in New York for an undisclosed amount. In Jan, 2009 Liquid Brick, Inc has made a short video about Strong and his art at www.fineartinvestors.com. This portrait of Michael Jackson is reminiscent of fifteenth century portraits. The piece is Strong's "tribute to the creative genius of Michael Jackson." Brett-Livingstone Strong painted the portrait with a combination of symbolism with technique in order to make the painting both powerful yet sensitive. "In this work, a 'veil has been lifted to reveal Jackson, wearing a smile reminiscent of the Mona Lisa, as a contemporary Renaissance man, at peace with himself.'" This painting was the first portrait Michael Jackson ever sat for. Michael Jackson himself referred to Brett-Livingstone as the "modern day Michelangelo."   The Artist – Brett-Livingstone Strong If you have not done so, please take time to briefly surf the internet and learn about this amazing artist called by some the modern day Michelangelo.  Read at www.fineartinvestments.com about the following: “ Your timing could not be better in that Brett is close to making a major announcement that could skyrocket the value of his already world renowned art collections to even higher levels.” This world renowned artist has been commissioned by Queen Elizabeth II, President Ronald Reagan, Prince Charles, Elizabeth Taylor and others. Again, Strong’s original painting of The Book sold for $2.1 million to a Japanese businessman in 1990.  It is claimed that that is the most money ever paid to a living artist for the sale of a portrait. This piece also was the only portrait that Michael Jackson sat for an artist's rendering. GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY BIDDING! (If you have 0 feedback, e-mail me before bidding, thanks.)

MICHAEL JACKSON SIGNED Lithograph THE BOOK Sepia *RARE* - eBay (item 170375494873 end time Sep-03-09 11:36:46 PDT)

An Open Letter To Those Who Insult Michael Jackson

Posted by Tremendous in Business., Featured Articles on 06 26th, 2009 | 3 Comments

Hi.

You’ve been sent here in one of two ways.

One. You read the headline and said to yourself: yeah dumb people who insult Michael Jackson! Shame on you for being such dolts. He was a magnana…he was a mangninama…he was that word that sounds cool and means he’s awesome.

Two. You’re someone who just insulted Michael Jackson and a friend wants to punish you.

With my electronical wrath.

It’s okay if you insulted him. Everyone is dopey once in a while. I mean I’m a big fat dope sometimes too! Remember when Farrah Fawcett died?

I know right?

Seems like so long ago.

Farrah Fawcett fans are probably like, yeah thanks. The same day? That’s the lottery we wanted to win.

As soon as I found out about Farrah Fawcett, I immediately informed my girlfriend. I told her Sarah Fawcett died. The chick from I Dream Of Genie.

Also, she wasn’t really my girlfriend.

Just a fat chick standing in line at the ATM.

Michael Jackson has died. That’s devastating . It really is. I’m going to explain why in a few quick bullet points. Clearly, you need to be educated.

Whatever. I don’t need music lessons from some dude with a shitty blog. I can say whatever I want about him.

Really? Because that’s hurtful. You don’t think I know it’s a shitty blog? I designed it in Microsoft Word, dude. The lesson is simple. Michael Jackson was an icon. He did more for the world of music than you’ll ever do for the world of douchebaggyness.

Although you might surprise me.

Reasons why Michael Jackson was amazing and why you’re a dummy for insulting him.

1. He was so talented, even as a kid.

At five years old, the dude had more talent than I’ll ever have in my entire life. At five. When I was five, I was just walking around trying not to pee all over myself. If I did that, it was a good day. If I didn’t? Well. Probably the reason why my mom told me maybe we’ll just keep with the diapers.

2. His celebrity and adoration were unfathomable.

At the apex of Michael’s career, heads of states wanted to meet him. Top artists imitated him. He was beloved by millions of people and still is today. Now think about how many people love you. You think the person who told you need to read this article really does?

Yeah.

No.

3. You might not have understood him, but there’s no way you didn’t care.

Look, you think I understood the guy? No way. He was all eccentric and nutty, sure. But it was that element of him that made him interesting. But not just interesting in the way where you fart in front of your buddy and he’s like, “hey that’s a startling and interesting odor, dude. Egg McMuffin right?”

Greater than that.

Deeper than that.

He was captivating. He compelled you to pay attention. He held a profound mystique about him that we still won’t understand.

It’s why I called his death the 9/11 of Pop Culture.

And even during all this, you made fun of the guy.

Wow.

Way to class it up.

4. Thriller.

Really? I have to write something here?

Thriller dude.

Thriller.

5. He Popularized The Moonwalk.

I’m a horrible dancer. I was actually told to leave salsa class by my instructor Hugo who was a huge pain in the ass. Hugo was like four apples high, but he spoke in that Brazilian accent that instantly made chicks want to jump him. Also he could dance exceptionally well. Meanwhile I’m standing there trying to perfect the first step, all creepy and terroristy-looking.

No chicks are looking for that.

So I know how hard it is to dance. Michael Jackson could not only dance, but he popularized a dance nobody can really do that well. He’s like Hugo. Times a million.

Taller.

And less of a douche.

Hugo, if you’re reading this:

Thanks for making me cry.

——

Those are just five of the hundreds of reasons Michael Jackson was amazing and will be missed. I’m sure a few of you can help me out in the comments.

But yeah. Your Michael Jackson jokes are needed less now than ever.

But I just called his son Napkin. Get it? Because it’s really Blanket! That’s funny.

No. Wait.  OK, just a little.

I’m offended at your moronic article.  Michael was a creepy guy. His death won’t change that.  And to tell me I can’t say that is stupid.

You can’t wait a bit?  I mean, he just died.  You really think people are looking to harvest your insight on the negative elements of Michael Jackson’s life?

Exactly.

Just read this. Sign below stating that you’ve completed your course on how to appreciate Michael Jackson.

Thank you.

P.S. Is it magnanimous?  I feel like it’s magnanimous.

—–

Offended by my personality?  Shower me with your tweet-hate.

An Open Letter To Those Who Insult Michael Jackson

Max Svabinsky Nude Art Acts 1945 Antique - eBay (item 130270437223 end time Sep-16-09 13:40:53 PDT)

Max Svabinsky

Nude Art Acts

Max Svabinsky
Nude Art Acts

Publishing: 1945
Language: Czech

Excellent  condition
Pages: 25 Guard book
Size:  A4
 30cm x 21.5 cm (12" x 8.5")

_____________________________________________
 Delivery:   Worldwide 7 to 10 business days   
 Payment: Paypal

Click to: See other items for more items


Max Švabinský (1873-1962) was a Czech painter, draughtsman, graphic artist, and professor in Academy of Graphic Arts in Prague. Švabinský is considered one of the greatest personalities in the history of Czech painting and possibly the most significant of the first half of the 20th century. He was one of just a few representatives of modern art who was positively accepted by the communist regime.

Biography

Max Švabinský was born on September 17, 1873 in Kroměříž. Together with Jan Preisler, Antonín Slavíček, and Miloš Jiránek, he was one of the founders of Czech modern art. Early on, Švabinský exhibited period tendencies towards Plenérian Realism, Symbolism, and Art Nouveau. Some of his greatest early works were portraits or family-oriented paintings. Švabinský and his wife Ela often stayed with the Vejrych family in Kozlov near Česká Třebová. There he was inspired by the picturesque landscape. This is the period in which he painted some of his most famous "masterpieces."

In Kozlov, at the beginning of the century, he took up graphics systematically, especially etching and Mezzotint. On account of the high value of the graphic work, he was appointed a professor of the Prague Academy in 1910, and in the same years completed murals for the Municipal House in Prague. In the leaves of Paradisiacal Sonata in 1917, he extended his expression with wood engraving, at which time the importance of his graphic work started to prevail over the painter’s work. In the thirties, he got the opportunity to express himself in monumental forms. After the mosaics for the National Monument on Žižkov Hill, he painted boards for three coloured windows of the St. Vitus Cathedral in Prague. At the same time and with the same intensive graphic interest, he was able to present a graphic miniature of a postage stamp. At the first session of the government in 1945, he was awarded the title of “National Artist”.

Max Švabinský died on February 10, 1962. The cottage in Kozlov (near Česká Třebová, East Bohemia, Czech Republic) where Max Švabinský stayed has recently been renovated and now it is open for visitors. The interior looks just the same as 100 years ago and many of Švabinský's pictures are shown there. The tour can be performed both in Czech and English.Max Svabinsky Nude Art Acts 1945 Antique - eBay (item 130270437223 end time Sep-16-09 13:40:53 PDT)