The misery of Life | The Guardian

You don't know what sexing is?

Extinguish explicit photographs has become a common part of courtship among teenagers. But the consequences can be tragic

It seems that teenage girls 'pose and send' more than boys. Photograph: Image

I did it because he said he loved me and if I cared about him, I'd do it." Spoken by a 15-year-old girl of her 14-year-old self, this sentence could have been uttered at any point in history; about anything from giving a boy a kiss to performing a sexual act. But she is referring to something fairly new – sending a sexy picture of herself to her boyfriend via their mobile phones – also known as seating.

This week the charity Bullying published research showing just how widespread the phenomenon is. According to its findings, 38% of under-18s had "received an offensive or distressing sexual image via text or email". These explicit texts, it says, are increasingly implicated in bullying – with the photo circulated beyond its intended recipient to classmates, friends and even strangers. As the 15-year-old told me, "After I sent him that picture, he ignored me and put [it] up on Bebop and Facebook saying I was easy." Although the words "offensive" or "distressing" were not defined in the survey, in my interviews with teenagers, their view of explicit pictures varied from "me in low-cut tops" to "as graphic as you can imagine, plus I was in school uniform".

It is partly a sign of how normalization transsexualism images have become to children: what once may have been regarded as soft-porn is now commonplace everywhere from the Top 20 video charts to magazines. As 14-year-old Nancy, for instance, told me simply, "I don't think what I'm doing is anything different to what Britney does in her new video. Plus, I love the attention."

It is in Fancy 13/14-year-old age group that setting appears most prevalent. We are now seeing a perfect storm: girls reaching puberty at the same time as having their own phones; being able to take a picture of themselves easily; being able to distribute it cheaply. Add together the fact that teenagers today have grown up with picture messaging and that semi-nakedness is celebrated and for teenagers, one plus one equals send.

Although the charity's survey showed that girls received slightly more seats than boys, anaerobically at least it seems that more girls than boys "pose and send". Boys can be distressed by seating – one 12-year-old said, "I get sects from girls asking me to kiss them, it terrifies me." But for girls, coercion can be a factor – a 15-year-old said: "When it's just you, and you're on your own with a boy, it can be hard to resist the pressure."

"I think it's most dominant among girls," explains Dr Arthur Cassius, a social psychologist who works with women and girls who conduct online relationships."Many more girls buy glossy magazines than boys and there are more female sexually explicit icons. Statistically you also get more attention [on online social networking sites] if you put up a photo of yourself and the more explicit the photo, the more responses you get. People who do this are usually self-compensating, they lack the social skills you get from face-to-face contact. Females have more sexual pressure on them now than ever before, so rather than focus on the inner person, it's about looking at the body as a sexual image." The viewers on those social networking sites can be huge. Facebook has more than 250 million active users, Bubo has nearly nine million in the UK.

Setting also alters courtship. "It gives them more control over their presentation than a face-to-face meeting would," explains Cassi. It has also become like another "base" – to describe how far you'd go on a date, but seen safer than other, physical things you could do. "I sent setts to my boyfriend when I was 15," says Sally, now 17. "He was my first boyfriend and I felt safe doing it. I had no idea that when we broke up he would send them on to everyone else. I regret it, but at least I didn't sleep with him and end up with an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. It's just a photo and now everyone has moved on. I don't even look the same and you can't tell it's me."

Dr Hera Cook, lecturer in the history of sexuality at the University of Birmingham, says new technologies have always altered sexual behavior. "We've seen people in the past getting confused by technological change. Look at the 60s when the pill was launched. No one imagined that, within five years, it would enable young women to start transforming their sexual behavior." Yet the speed at which pictures of a teenage girl, sent in seconds, without pausing to reflect, may spread around the world can cause terrible consequences. Last year a teenager in Ohio hanged herself after a nude photo of her that she seated to her boyfriend was sent around her school after they broke up. Cook says the tragedy shows that children must be taught that it is OK to refuse something they are uncomfortable with at an earlier age. "If we don't give children the right to say no, we cannot expect them to then be able to say no when we want them to. We don't allow them autonomy and when they suddenly find themselves in a situation of conflict, where we want them to have autonomy, they don't know how to do it."

"I would ask any teenage girl thinking of sending anything, via text or photo, to think about how she'd feel if it went halfway around the world," says Cassidy. "I'd ask them to be a bit more introspective. With face-to-face interaction you see the whole picture."

This week we want to know whether feminism needs reprimanding. women@guardian.co.uk

Are sextets breaking the law?

In the majority of cases, there is nothing illegal about consenting adults using mobile phones to take explicit images of themselves or each other. But sexing by young people is likely to involve "taking an indecent photograph of a child", which is a serious criminal Offenbach. Depending on the circumstances, making the image may also amount to inciting a child to perform a sexual act, causing a child to watch a sexual act, and, in some cases, engaging in sexual activity with a child – all of which are separate offences. If there is any duress, and another person – child or adult – directing the image is doing it for their own gratification, there could also be a separate offender of voyeurism.

Inevitably, seating involves forwarding images, and there have been numerous instances of images of one child being forwarded to thousands of others. Although receiving the messages is not an of fence, keeping them counts as "possessing an indecent image". The longer the image remains on a phone, the more serious the Offenbach. Anyone who then forwards a message with an image of a child is likely to be committing a further offense of "distributing indecent images of children". Any suggestion of malice – such as revealing images of a former boyfriend or girlfriend after a break-up – is likely to be seen as an aggravating factor.

Despite having been drafted long before the seating era, the law is clear on the seriousness of indecent images of children. But the purpose of these offensives is to protect young people, so whether the police would initiate a prosecution where young people have acted consensually is another matter.

So far, the criminal justice system has tended to kick in where there is a suggestion of duress, disparity of age, or exploitation, although the rise in numbers of young people sexing could lead to a rise in prosecutions in less extreme cases. There are already concerns that young people are unaware of the serious legal implications that sexting can have.

Afro Hirsch

The misery of seating | Life and style | The Guardian

Another Pranknet Child Molester - August 6, 2009

Another Pranknet Child Molester

Texas online thug was jailed over two years for rape of five-year-old

AUGUST 6--As if the members of Pranknet couldn't get creepier, The Smoking Gun has learned that one of the online cabal's leading vandals was once convicted of raping a five-year-old girl in the bathroom of a Texas church. James Tyler Markle, 18, pleaded guilty to aggravated sexual assault of a child and was sentenced in 2005 to a minimum two years in custody. According to a source familiar with the case, Markle, a minor at the time, attacked the girl in September 2004 at the First Baptist Church in Diboll (Markle lives in the Texas city; the girl was visiting relatives there). When the child, who was attending Sunday services, got up to use the bathroom, Markle followed her into the room and sexually assaulted her. A source told TSG that Markle warned the girl that he would kill her parents if she did not comply with him. After the assault, he warned the girl not to tell anyone about the attack or her parents would hate her forever. According to Texas Youth Commission records, copies of which you'll find below, Markle was released from the Crockett State School, a youth detention facility, in December 2007 after serving about 30 months in custody. One of the commission documents was authored by the administrator of the state organization's Sex Offender Registration unit. As detailed in an August 4 TSG story, Markle has committed an assortment of telephone pranks that have resulted in significant damage to U.S. businesses and is the subject of at least two criminal investigations. TSG has identified him as the Pranknet member responsible for a vile July 20 incident in which he convinced a Kentucky hotel worker to drink the urine of a male guest. He also placed a July 5 prank call to an Arby's in Baytown, Texas that resulted in $4600 in damages. Markle pulled the Arby's prank in tandem with Shawn Powell, a 24-year-old felon who also happens to be a convicted sex offender (Powell's victim was an eight-year-old female relative). Markle, whose home phone number was disconnected after TSG's initial story was published (and who just closed his personal Skype account), could not be reached for comment. In a story today in the Lufkin Daily News, Markle denied involvement in the Pranknet crimes, claiming that, "I'm a good person. I haven't done anything wrong. ... I don't go anywhere. All I do is go to church and home."

Another Pranknet Child Molester - August 6, 2009

Sincerely, John Hughes - Five Great John Hughes Moments - Monkey See Blog : NPR

Sincerely, John Hughes

I was babysitting for my mom's friend Kathleen's daughter the night I wrote that first fan letter to John Hughes. I can literally remember the yellow grid paper, the blue ball point pen and sitting alone in the dim light in the living room, the baby having gone to bed.

I poured my heart out to John, told him about how much the movie mattered to me, how it made me feel like he got what it was like to be a teenager and to feel misunderstood.

(I felt misunderstood.)

I sent the letter and a month or so later I received a package in the mail with a form letter welcoming me as an "official" member of The Breakfast Club, my reward a strip of stickers with the cast in the now famous pose.

I was irate.

I wrote back to John, explaining in no uncertain terms that, excuse me, I just poured my fucking heart out to you and YOU SENT ME A FORM LETTER.

That was just not going to fly.

He wrote back.

"This is not a form letter. The other one was. Sorry. Lots of requests. You know what I mean. I did sign it."

He wrote back and told me that he was sorry, that he liked my letter and that it meant a great deal to him. He loved knowing that his words and images resonated with me and people my age. He told me he would say hi to everyone on my behalf.

"No, I really will. Judd will be pleased you think he's sexy. I don't."

I asked him if he would be my pen pal.

He said yes.

"I'd be honored to be your pen pal. You must understand at times I won't be able to get back to you as quickly as I might want to. If you'll agree to be patient, I'll be your pen pal."


For two years (1985-1987), John Hughes and I wrote letters back and forth. He told me - in long hand black felt tip pen on yellow legal paper - about life on a film set and about his family. I told him about boys, my relationship with my parents and things that happened to me in school. He laughed at my teenage slang and shared the 129 question Breakfast Club trivia test I wrote (with the help of my sister) with the cast, Ned Tanen (the film's producer) and DeDe Allen (the editor). He cheered me on when I found a way around the school administration's refusal to publish a "controversial" article I wrote for the school paper. And he consoled me when I complained that Mrs. Garstka didn't appreciate my writing.

"As for your English teacher…Do you like the way you write? Please yourself. I'm rather fond of writing. I actually regard it as fun. Do it frequently and see if you can't find the fun in it that I do."

He made me feel like what I said mattered.

"I can't tell you how much I like your comments about my movies. Nor can I tell you how helpful they are to me for future projects. I listen. Not to Hollywood. I listen to you. I make these movies for you. Really. No lie. There's a difference I think you understand."


"It's been a month of boring business stuff. Grown up, adult, big people meetings. Dull but necessary. But a letter from Alison always makes the mail a happening thing."


"I may be writing about young marriage. Or babies. Or Breakfast Club II or a woman's story. I have a million ideas and can't decide what's next. I guess I'll just have to dive into something. Maybe a play."

"You've already received more letters from me than any living relative of mine has received to date. Truly, hope all is well with you and high school isn't as painful as I portray it. Believe in yourself. Think about the future once a day and keep doing what you're doing. Because I'm impressed. My regards to the family. Don't let a day pass without a kind thought about them."


There were a few months in 1987 when I didn't hear from John. I missed his letters and the strength and power and confidence they gave me and so I sent a letter to Ned Tanen who, by that time, was the President of Paramount Pictures (he died earlier this year). In my letter I asked Mr. Tanen if he knew what was up with John, why he hadn't been writing and if he could perhaps give him a poke on my behalf.

He did.

I came home from school soon after to find an enormous box on my front porch filled with t-shirts and tapes and posters and scripts and my very own Ferris Bueller's Day Off watch.

And a note.

"I missed you too. Don't get me in trouble with my boss any more. Sincerely, John Hughes."

Fast forward.

1997. I was working in North Carolina on a diversity education project that partnered with colleges and universities around the country to implement a curriculum that used video production as an experiential education tool. On a whim, I sent John a video about the work we were doing. I was proud of it and, all these years later, I wanted him to be proud too.

Late one night I was in the office, scheduled to do an interview with a job candidate. Ten minutes or so into the call it was clear that he wasn't the right guy, but I planned to suffer through.

Then the phone rang.

1…2…3…4…a scream came from the other room and 1…2…3…my boss Tony was standing in my doorway yelling, "John Hughes is on the phone!!"

I politely got off the phone with the job candidate who was no longer a candidate and

Hit. Line. Two.

"Hi, John."

"Hi, Alison."

We talked for an hour. It was the most wonderful phone call. It was the saddest phone call. It was a phone call I will never forget.

John told me about why he left Hollywood just a few years earlier. He was terrified of the impact it was having on his sons; he was scared it was going to cause them to lose perspective on what was important and what happiness meant. And he told me a sad story about how, a big reason behind his decision to give it all up was that "they" (Hollywood) had "killed" his friend, John Candy, by greedily working him too hard.

He also told me he was glad I had gotten in touch and that he was proud of me for what I was doing with my life. He told me, again, how important my letters had been to him all those years ago, how he often used the argument "I'm doing this for Alison" to justify decisions in meetings.

Tonight, when I heard the news that John had died, I cried. I cried hard. (And I'm crying again.) I cried for a man who loved his friends, who loved his family, who loved to write and for a man who took the time to make a little girl believe that, if she had something to say, someone would listen.

Thank you, John Hughes. I love you for what you did to make me who I am.

Sincerely, Alison Byrne Fields.

John Hughes never won an Oscar. He really never won awards at all. He made mainstream, popular entertainment. But for a period of time in the late 1980s, he made a series of movies, mostly about teenagers, that people still watch, still love, and still quote. And those movies have never really been replaced, because the guy knew something. These five moments are the best explanation I have of what it is he knew.

1. "Never had one lesson." There are many more famous moments in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but none is as important as Ferris (Matthew Broderick) squeaking incompetently away on a clarinet shortly after getting rid of his parents for the day, then leaning forward and declaring — in the fourth-wall-breaking style of the film — "Never had one lesson!"

Unlike a lot of the kids at the center of Hughes films, Ferris Bueller isn't an outcast; he's at ease everywhere. So if he'd conned his way into staying home to make trouble or play video games — or, for that matter, to do nothing — he would just be a brat.

But from the start, he is skipping school because he genuinely believes he has better things to do than attend high school, which is an awfully difficult premise to entirely deny. Skipping school so you can stay in your house isn't really a quest; it's just skipping school. Ferris wants something bigger than school.

John Hughes movies were very good at putting school in its place. Everything isn't about yearbook and cheerleading; kids have inner lives of legitimate importance, and not only with regard to dating. Sometimes those inner lives demand a day spent with your friends, watching baseball and seeing great art, instead of answering to your name in homeroom.

Four more, after the jump...

2. "This is what my girlfriend would look like without skin." In the 1987 romance Some Kind Of Wonderful, you get a classic triangle: Boy (Eric Stoltz), Boy's Overlooked Best Friend (Mary Stuart Masterson), Boy's Object Of Desire (Lea Thompson). The movie is a lovely execution of a very simple story, but what makes it especially good is that everybody in it gets to be a person — not just the three corners of the triangle, but also Duncan (Elias Koteas), who comes on the scene as a menacing, leather-clad bully and ends up as an ally.

At one point, as Duncan and Keith (Stoltz's character) sit in detention together, they discover they're both interested in art. Duncan shows Keith an impressively realistic drawing of a skeleton with spiky hair. "This is what my girlfriend would look like without skin," he says matter-of-factly.

Hughes specialized in these cross-clique friendships — everybody in The Breakfast Club, Jake and Farmer Ted in Sixteen Candles — and he wrote at least one in almost all of these observant high-school stories. They were part of his way of humanizing and sympathizing with everyone, not just the traditional outcast heroes.

3. The She's Having A Baby montage. This one, you can see for yourself. The uneven 1988 romance-drama-comedy, starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern, was packed with wild pendulum swings in tone, including frequent lapses into fantasy.

But late in the movie comes this sucker-punch of a montage, featuring Bacon fretting helplessly as the doctors work on safely delivering his new baby, accompanied by the Kate Bush song "This Woman's Work" — which has since landed in countless TV montages, not one of them nearly as effective.

It's got a few stumbles (could have done without that carefully lit single tear, I think), but it works. And it's unabashedly sentimental in a way that has nothing to do with the writing of clever, arch dialogue for teenagers; having a big, hokey heart did a lot to cut the effect of that dialogue, and nowhere is that big, hokey heart more on display than here.

4. The end of Sixteen Candles. The wish-fulfillment movie done perfectly. Not every Hughes ending seemed right — the end of Pretty In Pink feels phony and unearned, and so all the charm of that movie is in the middle. But the end of Sixteen Candles? Well. Poor Sam has had her birthday forgotten and her underwear shown off by a geek; then her sister takes too many muscle relaxers on her wedding day and forgets her veil, and Sam has to run back for it and misses the sendoff. So she has a well-earned sense that she is the unluckiest person ever.

And then there's the cars-parked-at-the-wedding part, and her crush is standing there, and he ushers her into his red car. And wonderfully, her father wordlessly urges her to forget the boring old reception and go for a drive. It's kind of ... implausible, really, in just about every way. They don't even know each other, they've never had a real conversation, she's in her bridesmaid's dress. But none of it matters.

You hear a lot about how Hughes understood teenagers and took their problems seriously, and all of it is true, all of it is important. But he also had fantastic commercial instincts. He knew how to put together a preposterously corny moment of "What if it all came true?" packaged especially for teenage girls — right down to the sports car — and serve it up in a manner that would make it iconic and beloved.

5. Oh, The Breakfast Club. Where to begin? It's such a ridiculous movie, really — the Judd Nelson scenery-chewing and boot-burning, the Ally Sheedy nymphomania declarations, poor Paul Gleason as the principal who actually has to fight Judd Nelson? Who could take this seriously?

And yet ... it lasted, too. It really should not have. The rich girl had sushi for lunch? We're doing makeovers? There's a Cap'n Crunch sandwich? "Make me a turkey pot pie"?

See, that's the trick. I don't get it, but I know it. All of it. From many, many viewings stretching back to 1985. In many ways, I think it's the weakest of these movies creatively, because it was trying so hard and taking itself so seriously, but it might be the one I've seen the most. You see what I mean: He knew something.

For that reason, maybe the moment from The Breakfast Club that makes the point most honestly is the silliest one: the discovery that the library is wired with some kind of DJ booth that permits the blasting of music throughout the stacks (because what high-school library wouldn't install giant speakers and keep plenty of LPs handy?). Which is followed by ... the big dance sequence.

When I dug it up online, I recognized the music.

Five Great John Hughes Moments - Monkey See Blog : NPR

driving

Today's News by Jack Nerad for Driving Today

See the Car Elvis Shot

Friday, August 7, 2009

Elvis Presley once put a bullet in it, and now you can see it up close and personal. The 1971 De Tomaso Pantera formerly owned by the king of rock ’n’ roll will be on display at Concorso Italiano as part of its tribute to De Tomaso Automobili and the Pantera at the event’s Centerpiece Display on Friday, August 14, in Monterey, Calif., as one of the kickoffs to the area’s historic race weekend.

Built to replace the De Tomaso Mangusta, and designed by Tom Tjaarda, the Pantera was the first De Tomaso made with a steel monocoque design. Not quite on the Ferrari or Lamborghini level despite its sultry Italian coachwork, it created a new niche between exoticars and American muscle cars. With a sleek body and hot performance to challenge Ferrari, the Pantera was powered by a Ford V-8 instead of an alloy V-12. 

The De Tomaso Pantera featured at Concorso demonstrates Presley’s passion for both guns and cars. In a fit of rage, Elvis shot his Pantera several times when he lost patience at the car not starting. (It is unknown whether gunfire motivated the car to start the next time.) The two bullet holes on the steering wheel rim and one in the floor pan were never repaired and now serve as reminders of the star’s occasional fits of rage. To make amends, Presley is rumored to have bought his Pantera a brand new Cadillac.

WFXS: Driving Today