Newlydeads
Hotel dla nowozenców Poland
till death do us part
for better or worse... they got the worst!
I think that this film is about as bad as it gets. It is cruel, has despicable characters, and it concentrates on homo-phobia as if it were a good thing. NEWLYDEADS made me angry in many different ways.
First, there's the plot, which is so ludicrously played out that you wished that the transvestite would wipe everyone out pronto. Second, the actors are universally annoying. Why noone decided to hire professionals is probably a credit to the lecherous script. Thirdly, the direction is poor, poor, poor...fruit has rotted much more colorfully. And, the thing is, the director still gets work!This is appalling work by any standards, and someone had to actually edit this thing.NEWLYDEADS is a zero in my book.
We begin in 1972 with Jackie (Scott Kaske) driving down a country road. Writer/director Joseph Merhi is careful not to show the character's face, but Jackie appears to be a woman. She checks into a lodge hotel. The manager, Lloyd (Jim Williams) brings up a complimentary bottle of wine and tries to hit on Jackie. It works, but he quickly discovers that she's a he, so he flips out and kills him/her with a corkscrew. Cut to 15 years later. Lloyd is still running the lodge, which we eventually realize is a kind of honeymoon resort, and he's about to remarry. But the ghost-zombie of Jackie won't have it. As a number of different people descend on the lodge at the same time, we're in the midst of a textbook slasher film.
"Classic crap" is meant more seriously than it might sound. This film is the perfect example of the barrage of 1980s low-to-no-budget horror that was enabled by "revolutions" in the home video VHS retail/rental market and the home video camera market (although The Newlydeads may have been shot on film, the film quality is awful and reflective of the home video camera aesthetic).Suddenly in the 1980s it was relatively easy, cheap and profitable to crank out independent films, avoid the former necessity of a theatrical release, and go straight to video. In the mid-80s, video stores were still hungry for product, and given a movie with a title like "Newlydeads", combined with attractive poster/cover art, you were sure to make some money. The directors of these films used horror, and particularly slasher flicks, for a model, as there was a (somewhat mistaken) impression that the slasher movies that were huge successes--principally Halloween (1978), Friday the 13th (1980), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and their sequels--were not very elaborate or "deep" in terms of script, and not very sophisticated in their performances or direction. So the common factors were stamped into a slasher template and countless films were poured into the mold, sometimes with barely even a script written. The formula produced some films that were remarkably good, like April Fool's Day (1986), some that were horrendous, like Blood Cult (1985), and some that are better than they should have been, like this one.The biggest problem with The Newlydeads isn't that it is so blandly formulaic or poorly acted (which it generally is). The biggest problem is that it looks awful. It's difficult as a somewhat lay viewer to say exactly what the technical problem is, but throughout its length, The Newlydeads is smudgy/blurry, with awful color. The mostly unattractive actors, dressed in cheesy costumes, bad 1980s hairstyles, and shot in a bland location do not exactly help.There are some exceptions to all of this. The minister, who is played by "Captain Mike", is actually very entertaining to watch. He is frequently funny and seems to be a decent actor. If Merhi and co-writer Sean Dash would have centered the film around this character instead, they might have had something. There are a few other times when the writing, or improvising, is surprisingly decent. These tend to involve a middle-aged couple with a wife who is a psychic. There are two actresses who are very pleasant to look at--one is Lloyd's new bride, the other, the girlfriend of a grotesquely skinny geek, wasn't in the film enough (the grotesquely skinny geek was in the film too much, at least too much for having so few clothes on). A lot of people would probably enjoy the very brief appearance of Michele Burger as "The Bikini Girl", as well, although she's a bit too stereotypically model-like for my tastes.You might notice that I'm not talking about the story a lot. There isn't a lot to say about it. What plot there is only exists to enable the typical Ten Little Indians-styled knockoffs. The deaths aren't particularly imaginative here, although they're well done for the minuscule budget that this film surely had, as is the zombie makeup. There are hints of something more interesting beneath the surface with the psychic lady and the eventual method of dispatching the villain, but these aren't developed enough, and the resolution of the climax is unforgivingly arbitrary. Merhi also lets a lot of threads simply vanish from the picture. There were probably too many characters. Presumably, you'd have so many characters to enable a bunch of creative deaths, but a lot of the characters just disappear. Maybe they ran out of money for the special effects guy, or those actors quit before their death scenes could be filmed. (Troma head Lloyd Kaufman gave a good piece of advice for shooting films at this level: shoot in sequence, because that way when some actors quit--and they will, because you can't pay them squat and you're basically torturing them--you can just come up with some excuse in the plot for why they're not around anymore.) Surprisingly, perhaps, Merhi has had a long, very successful (monetarily, at least) career so far, both as a director and more recently as a producer (even producing Val Kilmer in the David Mamet written and directed film, Spartan, 2004). However, most of his subsequent work has been in the action genre--an aptitude for which it is difficult to foresee in The Newlydeads. It's not that the film is incompetent directorially, but partially due to budget, it's just pretty blah. This is only recommend for horror film completist, and even then, try to see it for free if possible.
Posted via email from Dogmeat
