Movies Referenced
As Good As It Gets, An Affair to Remember, The Ballad of Cable Hogue
Barfly, Blow, Blue Hawaii, Blue Velvet, Bonnie & Clyde
Casablanca, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Charlie Chan’s Greatest Case
Chinatown, Coal Miner’s Daughter, Coffee and Cigarettes
Cool Hand Luke, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, For a Few Dollars More
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Godfather, It’s a Wonderful Life
Life of Brian, The Maltese Falcon, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou
The Lost Weekend, The Night of the Hunter, Night Train, Paper Moon
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, The Player, Raising Arizona, Rock & Roll High School
Rocky III, Runaway Train, The Shawshank Redemption, Sleeping Beauty
Snow White, Spinal Tap, Strangers on a Train, Streetcar Named Desire
Sweet Smell of Success, Taxi Driver, The Ten Commandments, The 39 Steps
The Wild Bunch
Television Shows Referenced
The Beverly Hillbillies, Chico and the Man, The Ed Sullivan Show
Hee Haw, Josie and the Pussycats, The Honeymooners
Leave it to Beaver, Lil’ Abner, Welcome Back Kotter
Sanford and Son, Roots, 60 Minutes
The Simpsons, The Sopranos, The Tonight Show, The Wire
History Lessons From Bob
Famous Electric Chairs (e.g. Old Sparky and Gruesome Gerty)
Famous People Who Were Cheerleaders (e.g. Ann Margaret, George W. Bush)
Famous People Who Were Valedictorians (e.g. Cindy Crawford, William Rehnquist, Weird Al – “I wonder if William Rehnquist gave the same type of speech as Weird Al. Somehow I doubt it.”)
Famous People Who Had Burials At Sea (e.g. Steve McQueen, Ingrid Bergman, Vincent Price, Jerry Garcia)
History of the Wobblies, the U.S. labor organization
People Who Died While Playing Cards (e.g. Wild Bill Hickok, Al Jolson, Buster Keaton, the gangster Arnold Rothstein)
Famous People Who Drove Cadillacs (e.g. Pope Pius XII, Teddy Roosevelt, Bill Clinton)
History of Constantinople
Useful Tips
How to Hang Dry Wall
What to Pack When You’re Traveling
How to Walk Like A Runway Model
How to Give Yourself Dreadlocks
One-Liners
“Hope all you listeners won’t accuse me of cronyism just because I occasionally play records by people I know.”
“The distinctive voice of Aaron Neville. A lot of people think we sing the same.”
Re: Gene Autry’s Cowboy Code—“I’m not ashamed to say that I live my life according to that code. Quite a man, that Gene Autry.”
“Fred Astaire, the smoothest dancer known to man.”
Re: Berna Dean—“Here’s a woman who sure doesn’t sound like she sleeps alone.”
“John Lee….one of those guys that always sounds better without a band. Thirteen bars here, eleven bars there, nine there. Doesn’t matter to him. Nobody can do more with less than John Lee Hooker.”
Re: Endless Sleep – “This next song is not for the faint of heart.”
Re: Johnny Hicks – “A man who sounds like he’s got a smile in his voice.”
“America is certainly the great melting pot. Where else could someone like Slim Gaillard sing a tribute to matzoh balls and gefilte fish? It’s the kind of thing that makes me proud to be an American. Sing it, Slim.”
“It’s a quarter of a million miles from earth to the moon, and there’s no one I’d rather go with than Dinah Washington.”
Re: Six Pack to Go – “One of the great beer drinking songs of all time.”
Re: Leadbelly – “One of the few ex-cons who recorded a popular children’s album.”
“A lot of people who play one kind won’t play with people who play another kind, but me personally, I never understood any kind of border patrol when it comes to music.”
“Some people call Bob [Seger] the poor man’s Bruce Springsteen, but personally, I always thought Bruce was the rich man’s Bob Seger. Love ‘em both, though.”
Re: Red Headed Woman – “Boy, you hear a record like that, and you wish more Rockabilly bands had trumpets.”
Re: How You Gonna Get Respect—“A political statement you can dance to.”
Re: Eddy Dugash and the Ah-Ha Playboys: “Sometimes you just play a record because you like the name of the band. I love the name of this band, but I also love the record.”
“Not all songs about crying are necessarily sad.”
Re: Robert Parker’s Barefootin’ – “The man who wrote the national anthem of shoelessness.”
Re: Jimmy Lewis – “He sounds as bad off as a rubber-nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest.”
“Willie Nelson’s tour bus runs on cooking oil….I’ve toured with Willie…sometimes late at night you can see us, I’m filling up my tank at the gas station and he’s filling his up at Denny’s.”
“I always liked songs with parentheses in the title.”
Re: Dinah Washington’s Manhattan – “If there every was a love song to a city, I’d say it was this one.”
Re: Prince Buster’s Taxation – “Like all great artists, he was able to turn things that bothered him into three minutes of musical pleasure. Like here.”
Re: Porter Wagoner’s Skid Row Joe – “Next up, a very sad song. A recitation. A sermon. A speechifying testification. From Porter Wagoner, telling a tale of a sad man down on his luck in the dirty part of town.”
Re: Tex William’s Brother Drop Dead – “Some people die too soon. Others, you’re kind of hoping. Tex Williams has a song for such a situation.”
Re: Sinatra singing Summer Wind—“West Coast weather is the weather of catastrophe. The Santa Ana winds are like the winds of the apocalypse. But the summer wind that Frank’s singing about may be a little lighter. Come on in, Frank.”
Re: Charles Aznavour—“The Frank Sinatra of France…sings in six languages – French, English, Italian. He’s written over a thousand songs…I only know about half of them.”
Re: Memphis Minnie—“Me and My Chauffeur Blues. One of the great blues songs of all time, one of the great car songs of all time, one of the great chauffeur songs of all time, sung by one the great old ladies of all time - Memphis Minnie.”
Re: Joni Mitchell—“Joni and I go back a long ways. Not all the way back, but pretty far. I’ve been in a car with Joni. Joni was driving a Lincoln. Excellent driver. I felt safe.”
Re: Howlin’ Wolf—“This next song is entirely without flaw and meets all the supreme standards of excellence.”
Re: Hank Williams—“One of the greatest songwriters who ever lived was Hank Williams, of course. Hank could be headstrong and willful, a backslider and a reprobate, no stranger to bad deeds. However, underneath all of that, he was compassionate and moralistic.”
Deep Thoughts
“I don’t trust a man who doesn’t tear up a little watching Old Yeller.”
“All of our shows are for truckers, if not about truckers.”
“They say the earth’s warmin’ up. Be careful of that global warming, and wear your sunscreen.”
“Music City USA – one of the only places where a banjo player can make a six figure income.”
“You know, every shut-eye ain’t sleep. Sometimes you’re sleeping in the ground, taking a dirt nap, saying the big Goodbye.”
“The Harmonica is the world’s best-selling musical instrument. You’re welcome.”
“Sometimes when you look at a menu, it’s hard to decide what to get. Life is like that, full of difficult choices.”
“Lipstick traces on cigarettes can get you in trouble or remind you of the wonders of the night before.”
“Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me…as opposed to when you grow up and you learn that…the pen is mightier than the sword. The world is fill of little contradictions like that.”
“I leave you with the words of Benjamin Franklin. ‘He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.’ Thank you, Ben. Peace out.”
Bad Jokes
“My friend’s wife is a really bad cook. I broke a tooth on her coffee.”
“I once had a friend who said liquor will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no liquor.”
“A giraffe can go a long time without water. But he wants to see a menu right away.”
“I gave a bald-headed friend a comb. You know what he said? ‘I’ll never part with it.’”
“I don’t condone [blonde] jokes. I just repeat them in the public interest.”
“I want everybody to go out and paint their cars red and white tonight. We want a PINK CAR NATION.”
Recipes
Mint Julep
Four mint sprigs
3 oz of bourbon
1 tablespoon of powdered sugar
1 tablespoon water
Put the mint leaves, powdered sugar and water in a Collins glass. Fill the glass with shaved or crushed ice and then add bourbon. Top that off with more ice. I like to garnish mine with a mint sprig. Serve it with a straw. Two or three of those and anything sounds good!
Rum and Coca-Cola
Let me give you my recipe for a rum and Coca-Cola. Take a tall glass, put some ice in it, two fingers of Bombay rum, and a bottle of Coca-Cola. Shake it up well and go drink it in the sunshine!
BBQ
1 cup tomato sauce
1 cup vinegar
5 tablespoons Worcestershire
1 tablespoon butter
?? small onion
dash black pepper
cayenne pepper
1 ?? teaspoons salt
half cup water
Mix it all together in a large pan. Bring it to a quick boil. Reduce the heat and let it simmer for 10 minutes. You can also figure out your own secret ingredient and dump it to the mix. I like about three fingers of Tennessee sipping whiskey.
Figgy Pudding
4 oz of plain flour
a pinch of salt
4 oz bread crumbs
4 oz shredded suet
1 teaspoon mixed spice
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 oz dark soft brown sugar
8 oz chopped dried figs
finely grated rind & the juice of one lemon
2 tablespoon milk
2 beaten eggs
“Sift salt and flour together, then mix with all the remaining dry ingredients. Add the figs, lemon rind and juice, milk and beaten eggs. Beat them well. The mixture should have a soft dropping consistency. Put into a greased two-pint pudding basin, cover securely, and steam for three hours. I like it served with heated golden syrup topping, and a generous pour of custard. Makes me hungry just talking about it. My engineer Tex Carbone likes vanilla ice cream on it. I don’t understand that at all.”
The Perfect Meatball
3 minced cloves garlic
?? cup vegetable oil (for frying)
1 pound ground meat (equal parts beef, pork, veal)
?? cup grated Parmesan cheese
9 Saltine crackers, finely crushed
?? teaspoon salt
black pepper
oregano
dried basil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
?? cup water
1 egg
1 teaspoon tomato paste
“Heat the oil over a low heat in a large Dutch oven. In a big bowl, add the meat, garlic, cheese, crackers, and spices. Mix lightly with your fingers. Don’t be shy—get into it. In a small bowl, whisk the water, the egg, and the tomato paste. Add the egg mixture to the meat mixture. Mix it lightly with your fingers. Form it into drum shapes, or balls. Cook in batches, over medium high heat, until its browned on both sides. That will be about five minutes total. Serve ‘em up with some potatoes, or some spaghetti, or just make a sandwich out of them. You're gonna love 'em."
