The Tiger Woods sex scandal continues to roil with six women now claiming to have slept with the world’s top golfer. Cori Rist, another Manhattan party girl and Mindy Lawton,
a Florida greasy spoon manager, are the latest to join the list. They
all want to be the next Mrs. Woods. Who deserves the honor? Vegas party hostesses Jaimee Grubbs, Jamie Jungers and Kalika Moquin, and finally Manhattan-Hamptons party girl Rachel Uchitel round out the crowd. The growing list begs the question: How does Tiger’s menagerie measure up?
By that, we mean how do they stack up against Woods’ stunning Swedish wife, Elin Nordegren?
After all, Tiger married her so she has to be considered the gold
standard among the women he’s supposedly bedded. By exercising a little
pop psychology, the scandal squad also provides some insight into Tiger
himself.
After all, you are who you associate with, and when it comes to sex, you exchange more than small talk and casual hellos. As The New York Times‘ Maureen Dowd put it, Tiger should have known to be wary of women who carry 8×10 glossies.
From Top Left: Mindy Lawton, Jamie Jungers, Cori Rist, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Rachel Uchitel
“Tiger may have been the greatest pro golfer but he was an amateur
adulterer. His puffed-up ego led him to leave an electronic trail with
a string of buffed and puffed babes,” Dowd acidly wrote.
Not surprisingly, the growing herd in Tiger’s wake bear some startling similarities.
First, they were all clearly targets of opportunity. Woods met them
all in bars, nightclubs and other notorious pick-up spots. Five of the
six obviously — Lawton being the exception — invested in fake boobs,
fake hair and high heels to make themselves more attractive.
Three (counting Elin) were blondes, four were brunettes, and there was not a woman of color among them.
Second, the women were all short on education. None appear to have
graduated from college, including Nordegren, a nanny when she met
Tiger. In contrast, Woods attended Stanford, one of the best colleges
in the nation, although he left after two years to turn pro.
Which alleged Tiger Woods mistress would you fuck?
All of the women were singularly lacking in marketable skills
outside of the “hospitality” industry and all worked in jobs that
maximized their ability to chase celebrities.
They all also shared a certain narcissism and self-delusion, and
undoubtedly, subconsciously, low self-esteem. Although the
relationship was clearly about sex, all harbored thoughts that Tiger
might leave his wife and marry them. And, they all thought they were
the only one.
In fact, Uchitel had the audacity to complain when she found out
that she was just one of many passing flings. At least she was smart
enough to lawyer up and cash in on her relationship, reportedly
received seven figures for her confidentiality.
The sometime nightclub VIP hostess has a reputation for aggressively
pursuing celebrities and often bragged to her friends about the men she
was sleeping with. She also has been linked to “Bones” actor David Boreanaz, Ryan Seacrest and Stephen Dorff .
Tigerhas been hounded by mistresses ever since The National Enquirer
broke the story about his relationship with Uchitel. It appears that he
was sleeping with more than one mistress at a time and would make
arrangements for them to meet him as he traveled from tournament to
tournament.
So the question is how do Tiger’s flings stack up against Elin?
Since they all harbored delusions of becoming the next Mrs. Woods, vote
for the mistress that Tiger truly deserves to wed. We’ll publish the
results.
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