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September 3, 2009

EXPLICIT DIRECTIONS TO FINDING MICHAEL JACKSON'S SOLID GOLD CASKET AND CRYPT IN THE GREAT MAUSALEUM OF FOREST LAWN GLENDALE CEMETERY


This took about an hour to find, but, boy, did i find some stuff for another day...

so...













YOU'RE GONNA WANNA ENTER THROUGH THE MAIN ENTRANCE OF THE Forest Lawn Glendale GREAT MAUS...whatevs...YOU'RE GONNA PASS THE DOLLY SISTERS ON YOUR RIGHT, SAY HELLO, BUT KEEP GOING 'TILL YOU'RE IN THE MAIN HALL (ALL ALL ALL ). HANG A LOUIE AND HEAD TOWARD THE LAST SUPPER WINDOWS (YOU CAN'T MISS 'EM, JESUS, ET. AL.).  YOU'RE GONNA PASS THE PIETA TO YOUR LEFT AND TO YOUR RIGHT WILL BE THE GRAVE OF HUBERT EATON, founder of Forest Lawn, SO TAKE OUT YOUR GUM, AND NO YELLING.  HURRY STRAIGHT AT THE WINDOW (REMEMBER, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE), AND CROSS OVER THROUGH THE REFLECTION PEWS (MADE THAT ONE UP, BUT THERE ARE SOME MARKINGS ON THE LEGEND THAT MUST BE PEW-LIKE FOR REFLECTION, I'D IMAGINE), AND BEELINE IT THROUGH THAT VESTIBULE PASSAGEWAY THINGY, INTO (AND I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SAY THIS ALL EVENING) THE COLUMBARIUM OF SANCTUARIES, HANG A RIGHT AT REFUGE, AND JOG TO THE LAST HALL, GRATITUDE. TAKE A LEFT AT GRATITUDE AND SEE IF YOU CAN SEE TO YOUR RIGHT (YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CLARK GABLE).  IF YOU CAN'T, JUST GO ALL THE WAY TO THE 'DEAD' AND TRY TO FIND OUT WHO PHILLIP WRIGLEY IS. (OF COURSE, PUT YOUR GUM BACK IN...)  THEN GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME IN, TAKING A LEFT INSIDE THE MAIN HALL. NOW PASS DAY AND OLD MAN EATON (THIS TIME YOU'RE ON HIS SIDE OF THE PLAYGROUND SO PRETEND LIKE YOU HAVE BUSINESS IN THERE - HE NEVER SLEEPS) AND PASS DAWN.  RIGHT AFTER DAWN HANG LEFT AND ENTER THE COLUMBARIUM OF PRAYER  ( IF YOU PASS IN MEMORIA,  YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR--TURN AROUND). TAKE A SHARP LEFT INTO THE C OF P, AND YOUR FIRST RIGHT, AND YOU SHOULD BE RIGHT ON TOP OF
CLARK GABLE AND CAROLE LOMBARD,
(WOW, THIS SKY NEWS VID IS MINE, BUT CHECK OUT THE OTHER ONE)
IN TRUST. DAVID O.SELZNICK  STAYS AT THE DEAD END OF TRUST, BUT OUR BOY'S SUPPOSED TO BE SETTLING IN NEXT DOOR TO THE GABLES IN AROUND 2 1/2 HOURS FROM NOW, LOCKED UP TIGHT IN THE SOLID GOLD CASKET.  IF YOU GO TOMORROW, SAME DIRECTIONS, BUT LESS COMMOTION.

(OK, NOW SOMEONE FROM BOING BOINGBOING BOING CAN 'ORIGINATE THIS POST.  I'M FINISHED...FOR NOW)