The Quim
Sample of Sample E-Book: The Quim: “Ah, Kwaumuti. This is good. Your daughter’s vagina is fine." by E-author: Nigel Cawthorne on E-Book Website Authors OnLine
Sample
There must have been cunts around since the beginning of the human race. After all, with the exception of those delivered by caesarean section, we were all born from a vagina. And, with the exception of test tube babies, each of us was conceived in one. However, there is no mention of the appearance of the first cunt in the Judaeo-Christian creation myth. In Genesis, woman was merely created for the “comfort” of man. But what could be more comforting than a vulva? At first Adam and Eve were naked, so Adam would have glimpsed Eve’s sexual parts. But it was only after the incident with the serpent and the apple that he “knew” her.The Indians of the Brazilian rain forests are not so coy about the creation of the vulva. According to the Mehinaku’s creation myth, the great god Kwaumuti looked down on mankind and said: “Ah, poor men! They have no one to have sex with.”
So he made woman.
First he made the vagina from the fruit of the buriti palm, a foul-smelling, inedible, banana-shaped fruit. Then he called to a man named Armadillo: “Come try out sex with my daughter.”
Armadillo did. But from the smell everyone knew that Armadillo had had sex. So Kwaumuti threw away the fruit vagina, and made one from the soft tissue of a clam. Then he called to Armadillo again: “Come Armadillo, try this one out. Have sex with my daughter.”
Afterwards Armadillo said: “Ah, Kwaumuti. This is good. Your daughter’s vagina is fine. It does not smell. Make all the women’s vaginas like this, including those of the Brazilian women.”
But the goddess Mawari, looked at the women’s genitals and shook her head.
“Kwaumuti, you were not as smart as you think you are,” she said. “These are no good. You forgot to make a clitoris. For this reason, the inner and outer labia are not sensual enough.”
So Mawari made a clitoris.
“Do you see, Kwaumuti?” he asked. “The clitoris makes the man’s penis delicious to the woman. It is just like a penis. It grows erect and goes looking for its ‘sustenance’. The inner and outer labia, they do not grow erect. Only the clitoris, and that is what makes sex sensual.”
The Yanomamo of the Amazon basin have another tale. They believe that men were created when one of their ancestors shot the Moon in the belly. Where the Moon’s blood fell to Earth, the drops became men. But they were very fierce and fought until they were nearly extinct, so they need women to procreate with.
One day, when they were out collecting vines, a man found a newly open fruit called a “wabu”. It had eyes he thought it looked like a woman might look like. When he tossed it on the ground, it turned into a woman and developed a large, hairy vulva. The woman followed the men home. When they saw her vulva they were overcome with lust. They each had sex with her in turn. And when she gave birth to daughters, they all had sex with them too, until there were women in abundance.
But the Yanomamo have another story that speaks eloquently to men’s fears. One of the first women’s vulva turned into a mouth, complete with teeth, which bit off her partner’s penis. This myth of the vagina dentata appears in many cultures around the world.
The Masai believe that once men and women were both warriors. At that time, women did not have vulvas, just a tiny hole for them to pee through. But one night, when the two sexes sat around their separate camp fires, the young men crept up behind the women and pushed the sharp end of their bows into the women’s bodies, creating their vaginas. Then they made love to them. The next day they got married and women lost their bravery and became fertile.
People have certainly been interested in the vulva from Palaeolithic times. The earliest form of sexual graffiti were small, vertical gashes in the rock, surrounded by a slightly raised surface. Later Stone Age artists went on to carve the fully developed female form, which emphasised generous breasts and ample thighs. Although they depicted lush sexual zones, their legs were closed and the centre of focus became the pubic triangle.
The gradual concealment of the vulva followed human evolution. Our pre-human female ancestors went on all fours, leaving their vulvas exposed. But when humankind began walking upright, the female sexual parts were concealed between their legs. The large primate clitoris grew smaller. Instead women developed buttocks and breasts as powerful secondary sexual characteristics, while their sexual organs became hidden, mysterious and, consequently, sacred.
In the south of France, where some of the earliest European art has been found, there are many images of the sacred vulva. Some of these, in cave sanctuaries near Les Eyzies in the Dordogne, date back thirty thousand years. Archaeologists point out that the cave itself was symbolic of the Great Earth Mother’s womb and its entrance a symbol of the sacred portal or vaginal opening.
Later, the symbolic the vulva appeared in the work of Neolithic man. The dolman – a horizontal megalith resting on two vertical stones – is thought to symbolise the vulva. One of the most interesting is the dolman at Crucuno in France, where the sunlight on the autumn equinox creates a downward pointing “pubic” triangle. In past centuries, young women would lie naked on these so-called “hot stones” in the hope of finding the men of their dreams.
Many figurines of goddesses, excavated all over the ancient world, have highly emphasised vulvas, which seem to be of religious significance. In the Neolithic community of Lepenski Vir in the Iron Gate region of northern Yugoslavia, fifty-four red sandstone sculptures carved on oval boulders were found placed around vulva-shaped altars in shrines that were themselves in the shape of the pubic triangle. Dating back more than eight thousand years, some of these sculptures had the face of a goddess with V-shaped decorations pointing to the sacred vulva. Similarly, a group of goddess figures from Moldavia dating from about seven thousand years ago have highly stylised pubic triangles decorated with V-shaped chevrons.
A six-thousand-year-old goddess figure from Bulgaria, the throned “Lady of Pazardzik”, has her arms folded over her prominently etched vulva. Her sacred triangle is ornamented by a double spiral, an ancient symbol of regeneration. This is strikingly similar to a Japanese Jomon pottery goddess from the same era, which has a highly stylised pubic triangle.
By 2500 BC, a Cycladic platter from the Aegean shows the depiction of the vulva has become highly stylised. In other places, the vulva was represented by symbols from nature, such as a flower bud or a cowrie shell. In fact, cowrie shells were found among skeletons from more than twenty thousand years ago, indicating that the practice of placing these shells in burials as symbols of the female power of regeneration goes back to remote antiquity. The ancient Egyptians often decorated their sarcophagi with cowries.
In Indian religious tradition, the female pubic triangle was viewed as the focus of divine energy. To this day it associated with what is called kundalini energy in tantric yoga. When awakened through the pleasures of sex, this energy rises through the body to bring about a state of ecstatic bliss. Indian worship of the divine vulva is graphically illustrated by a twelfth-century relief carved on the walls of a goddess temple in southern India which shows two holy men seated at the foot of a giant vulva, their hands raised in prayer.
In the West, however, the phallus began to take over as an object of veneration. As early as the Palaeolithic era, there are depictions of the union of the phallus and the vagina in Europe strongly reminiscent of the sacred yoni-lingam figures found in India. At Le Placard in France, archaeologists found a carved object they at first called a baton de commandment (stick of command), which upon closer examination turned out to be a highly stylised elongated phallus above a vagina. Such representations became more common during the Bronze Age.
At excavations in Savignano and Lake Trasimeno in northern Italy, archaeologists have found carvings that show, as the archaeologist Marija Gimbutas writes, “a fusion of the phallus with the divine body of the Goddess”. Another sculpture that suggests a phallus uniting with a highly stylised Goddess figurine was found in the Gaban cave, near Trento. A pair of crescent horns symbolise the male principle, and the vulva is represented as a flower.
However, the vulva itself had not been lost completely. In Ireland particularly – though also in England, Scotland and Germany – numerous sheela-na-gigs have been found. These crude female figurines, mostly cut from stone, are shown standing or squatting with their legs spread. They are thought to have been used for the meditation of the vulva and its place in the endless cycle of birth and death. Many have been found embedded in the walls of village churches and monasteries, though they were often disfigured by puritanical Christians. Although some were carved by bawdy stonemasons, most were taken from pagan places of worship and incorporated into the fabric of early Christian churches.
The Polynesians continued this tradition until the Europeans came. They covered rock surfaces with reliefs of the vulva and carried pebbles etched with vulva motifs. And the Incas in Peru made pots shaped like vulvas which they drank from.