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July 10, 2009


This years Blindside of Australian waltzers, via the fucking super-duper classy (no matter what continent) 'Dancing With the Stars' exports "Gerrard Gosens" into the Outback and Down Under bedrooms from Queensland to Tasmania. His seeing-eye dog, equestrienne-faced leader with the frosted mane, is a dish of Aussie Shrimp on the Barbie Doll, Jess. This years lineup includes--impossibly, a world first: a blind man named Gerrard Gosens. Who has transformed Australia with his swell Aussie misadventure? whoa, Providence! Is that freaking Hazel Motes out there cutting Helen Keller's rug. I can't believe my eyes! Disability's thieving-dream outtakes looks a lot like the Flashcube dancer on a Hollywood Red Carpet, or the regular Roy Orbison, or just a Ray Banned side of TV baloney. Love is Blind! And so is the garbage bin pit of quicklime damnation that the producer's fallen into with the latest abomination of seventh sense and good taste.

Gerrard Gosens is The Inspirational Man, as he performs handouts, roundabouts, and
extrasensory gerrymandering.

Who're The Couple?
Daniel MacPherson
Sonia Kruger

Profession: Paralympian adventurer

Partner: Jessica Raffa

Charity: Visionary

He's climbed Mt Everest, Sopwith sharks, overflown a motorcycle around Queensland In a Prancing Otherworldly first, blind adventuress threescore paralytic, Gerrard Gosens is a baldfaced Challenger whenever he sweepstakes dance floorwalker, Jessica Raffa.

Gerrard Gosens precognitions nevertheless notwithstanding in Australia today.

Congregationalist, Gerrard became Australia's youngest Guide Dog recipient at age sixteen. Using a laptop computer with speech output to assist his studies, Gerrard achieved an exceptional High School score and gained entrance to the Bachelor of Business Management at Queensland University of Technology. Gerrard's commendable academic achievements are matched by his skill and success at sport.

Gerrard lives by the philosophy 'Success is a journey, not a destination', but jokes he has hit many signposts while training for his chosen sport of long distance running. Gerrard has competed in many marathons and has run 2,000 kilometres from Cairns to Brisbane five times to raise money for charity.

Gerrard represented Australia at the 1996 Atlanta Paralympic Games in the team sport of Goalball where the team just missed out on a bronze medal. Goalball is specifically for athletes that are blind or who are vision impaired.

Gerrard decided to return to his former sporting love distance running and represented Australia at the Sydney 2000 Paralympic Games in the 5000 metres, 10,000 metres and marathon (42.2km). Gerrard has gone on to be one of only 60 Australians to be a torch Bearer for the 2008 Olympic Games, and was selected to represent Australia at the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games where he competed in the 1500 meters.

Gerrard believes in preparation! During 2003/2004 he spent many weeks at Everest Base Camp and high altitudes in the Himalayas. Gerrard returned to Everest in 2005 and climbed beyond Camp Three (7300m). Gerrard plans to return to Everest, as he aims to be the first congenitally blind person to summit Everest.

Gerrard Gosens also has a head for heights, having three times co-piloted an ultra light motor glider around Queensland to raise funds for charity.

His many achievements and his strength and determination to succeed at whatever he does, saw him named Young Queenslander of the Year in 1995, and a finalist in the Young Australian of the Year. Gerrard was awarded the Melvin Jones Fellowship in 1998 for humanitarian service, and in 2003 received a Centenary of Federation Medal for service to sport.

A well sought after conference presenter and after-dinner speaker, Gerrard is presently, Special Projects Manager for 'Vision Australia' and is constantly looking for ways to improve the lives of children who are blind, like his 11 year old daughter, Taylor.

Meanwhile, he is writing a book called "My Eyes had a Wet Nose", which provides an insight into the many unique and entertaining experiences that he has encountered with his guide dogs, Joey, Anchor, Summit, and now Chief. Everything from spending the night with Stevie Wonder, landing his first full time job a week out of high school through to pulling off one of Queensland's best ever April Fools Day jokes and competing in the National Tandem Long board Surfing Championships.

~ nichopoulooza

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